Neurotypical idiots

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
_{Like this blogpost? Share on Reddit Share on Twitter Share on Facebook}

Shouldn't you be posting this type of thing on Reddit? I fail to see how it is relevant to lounging.

is this OC?

I will only read it if it's OC

I want to ask if this is based on a true story, but I don't want to force >>1-kun to divulge information that could harm his/her/its anonymity.

>>2
I wouldn't want to post this on /prog/ and I feel progrider is the closest I'll ever get to having an actual friend.

>>3,4
It is OC but I can't promise it will be interesting.

>>5
These text boards are like glory holes, but rather than anonymously exchanging, sexual contact, bodily fluids, and venereal disease, we anonymously exchange bits of and pieces of knowledge, philosophy, humor, annoyance, loathing, and friendship.

M: "Alright, let's play something else."
Girlfriend: "WHY? I'M HAVING A LOT OF FUN"
M: "Because we've been playing this game for hours and we'd like to play something else."
H: "Please, honey, let's play something else."
Girlfriend: "Why don't you convince him to let us keep playing this game? I'll reward you if you're a good boy."
(they kiss, I blush)
H: "Okay, okay, let's play a bit more."

Since we've been keeping the whole team afloat while she dies in the most stupid ways, the game starts going down when we lose our interest and get stuck at some annoying level with flying monsters throwing cakes at us.

Girlfriend: "If you don't like playing with me you could have said so."

She tossed the controller at him and went straight to her (their) bedroom. Once we couldn't hear her footsteps, his face showed obvious signs of relief and we took advantage of the situation to play Call of Duty.

While we were killing each other with grenades, I asked him why he'd put up with this shit. "This wouldn't happen if you lived alone" is the line I always use when my ex-classmates (friends?) tell me their girlfriends are being irrational, which is pretty much every single time I see them. "The sex is totally worth it" or "It's much better than being alone" are the most frequent answers.

After we were done with our match, I thank him for everything, grab my stuff and go to their bedroom hoping his girlfrend won't kill me. "Thanks again for everything", I said. She did not kill me, I said goodbye and went back to my place.

This is not the first time I've had this happen to me. Even though I feel like I'm wasting my time when I spend my time with "friends", it's a good excuse to give myself some idle time to reorganize my thoughts. A change of scenery is good for you every now and then. Why is it that girls have to throw their tantrums right when one's trying to have some fun? More importantly, why did my "friends" willingly introduce an annoyance into their lives? I'm fully aware this makes me look like an atheist Redditard, but I can't see any reason to live with someone who doesn't even share your hobbies or interests, has these random outbursts of "girly feelings" and reduces your available time and money to half of their original values. Trying to look at it from an objective point of view, what are the real benefits of getting a girlfriend as an heterosexual man? Male friends will spend their time with you and even support you when you're having a hard time. Male friends will also talk about their common interests with you. Could everyone be confusing loneliness with being horny?

Come to think of it, I haven't had any female friends since I was in high school. We'd talk about music and our burning desire to graduate as soon as possible so we could study what we were actually interested in. In retrospect, I didn't particularly enjoy talking with my female friends, and nobody in their right mind would enjoy talking about such boring topics. Okay, nobody except neurotypicals.

Then, why do men enjoy the company of women so much?

"The sex is totally worth it"
"It's much better than being alone"

The latter was already ruled out by the existence of male friends who may have some actual interests that are not reality shows and makeup. Is it... the sex? Is everyone willing to go through such lengths just to have sex? Just how good is sex exactly?

I admit Youmu gives me an intense feeling I cannot describe every time I look at pictures of her, but it's not merely sexual desire. She's not a real living being, though, and as such she won't be a whiny bitch because she shouldn't have any defects if I don't want her to have any defects. She's an imaginary concept, for fuck's sake. She can be perfect if I want her to be perfect. ZUN depicts her as a dork in most of the print works and I'm willing to accept her as she is because that won't harm me in the long run. I even went as far as making her my imaginary friend, because that's how much I like her. As creepy/pathetic as it may sound to you, I've had some actual conversations with her and they were more interesting than anything else I've ever discussed with a real girl. Real girls aren't like Youmu, though. I have yet to meet a woman who's nice to hang out with, isn't a total bore and understands more than 50% of what I like doing and talking about. Then why does everyone have a compulsion for going outside and meeting girls? Maybe interesting women are hard to find. Maybe interesting women won't even get near a dumb boring nerd. Maybe I will understand if I get one? There must be a reason everyone makes their life boring on purpose.

Anyway, I digress. It all seems to boil down to sex. Or at least it seems like I won't understand until I get to experience an actual relationship. It could be something else, not just sex. Well, since this would clear up many doubts and my arguments against having a girlfriend are always ignored on the basis of inexperience, I decided I'd give it a try.

-- cont

How am I doing this if I'm not even interested? It all seems like a waste of time. Doing this for a better understanding of the dynamics of social interactions would be my only excuse for carrying out this "experiment". At least this would result in a conclusive answer and I'd finally have the right to say "I just don't see the appeal of it" without getting a "LOOOOL HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT IF YOU'RE STILL A VIRGIN" back. Knowing first-hand what having a girlfriend is like would take a huge load off my mind, given that this whole thing seems pretty irrational from an outsider's perspective.

Having overcome this mental barrier, there's a truckload of additional issues to care about. Dressing like a hobo and complaining about systemd won't get me anywhere. Wait, why would I need to care about these? If both parties in a relationship are meant to be mutually understanding, this shouldn't be a problem. I shower daily, my teeth aren't crooked, I lead a healthy lifestyle, I've got no anxiety issues and I'm not an asshole.

Of course, I'd like to make this as painless as possible. Aiming for the so-called 10/10 girls, which look like wide-faced horses to me, would be unreasonable and they're usually the ones with the worst interests out there. Youmu is my personal 10/10 anyway. I'm not going for the lardasses either.

The first real issue: I'm not a good talker. Picking a girl who shares some of my interests is a must, but I'm fully aware this will be pretty hard. All I ever do is programming and consuming the kind of shit /jp/ likes. This limits my choices to the apping girls at the ``coding events'' and the weeaboo crowd at the anime cons. I've been there before and honestly, it feels like Reddit IRL. Well, it might be better than the last time I attended those events. I won't know until I try.

_{I'm tired and the ending of this long-ass story is an autistic rant anyway. I'll come back tomorrow if this thread is still here.}

Thing is, most relationships of under 25s start with drunken fucking at a party, where social proof comes into play in a big way -- you either need mutual friends at the party or you need to be a 'top dog' with your group of friends so she can observe your social prowess.

After 25, having mutual friends within a social network is pretty much the only way to meet a girl. Of course there are outliers, such as very good looking and/or wealthy and/or socially dominant in some way guys can get girlfriends without "social proof" but if you were one of those guys, you wouldn't be planning this (no offense).

What I'm saying is, aiming to get a girlfriend won't lead anywhere if you approach it head on -- if you're determined to do it, you need to focus first on fleshing out your network of friends, and meeting girls through that network. Online dating really opens you up to a lot of scams and destructive sociopath women and please please don't do it.

Having said that, it isn't worth it to have a girlfriend. Think about it, what could you offer a girlfriend and what would she offer you? I'm not saying you suck, just that if women aren't (relatively) falling into your lap, then your lifestyle isn't compatible with them. If you did get a girlfriend, she would end up resenting you for not offering her the kind of opportunities she would expect from a boyfriend -- ie. taking her out, introducing her to new people, etc.

Truth is, guys don't have live-in/ltr girlfriends for the sex. They do it to tick a box on the checklist of 'I am an adult.' If you have no interest in ticking ALL of those boxes, you won't get fulfillment from ticking the ltr girlfriend one alone.

Just be careful. Women can ruin your life, and if it isn't worth it for you don't take the risk.

I wish I could approach the dating scene as a women. I don't know if it would be better or worse. Not trans or gay or anything. Just tired of carrying the male burden. I guess I can just turn gay.

>>10
I guess you could go back to 4ct.org...

OP here. Not sure if >>9 is trying to impersonate me but this story is way too long to be ended with such a hasty ending. I'm busy right now, I'll try to continue later.

is >>9 OC too?

>>12
If you don't want people to reply then post this shit on your comment-disabled blog.

>>14
I can't see how >>12-kun is implying he doesn't want anyone to comment here.

>>14
Sorry, it seems like I misinterpreted >>9's post. I wholeheartedly agree with him. There's no problem if anyone wants to post on this thread, it's not like I own it.

----

This would be the first time I tried to start a conversation with a girl out of my own will. I don't have any problems talking to anyone, it's just that you won't find much to talk about with an elderly person, a girl or a gay male.

Anime conventions always seemed to me like massive clusters of cancer and casual faggotry, which is the reason I've been avoiding them for so long. But they're full of girls with low-self esteem and this would be a perfect chance for an average nerd like me to find someone. Hell, it's possible I could have some fun there!

I was so wrong. The convention I attended is an "anything dorky goes" event held yearly. It's brimming with curious neurotypicals and clueless weeaboos who never watched anything more than Naruto and are willing to spend $30 on fucking Pockys. It might not be as crowded as Comiket but walking through the crowded halls and shuffling between fat smelly weeaboos is a total pain in the ass. The stands mostly sold Shingeki no Kyojin, One Piece and Death Note merchandise. I noticed a girl cosplaying Hatate and thought it would be a good idea to compliment her costume. She turned around and I approached her.

Me: "Nice costume! It's kinda rare for someone to cosplay Hatate given her relatively low popularity. Everyone is mostly interested in taking pictures with the Shingeki no Kyojin cosplayers."
(dear fuck, I'm such a pretentious idiot. I shouldn't have said that.)
Girl: "Damn right! You're the first one to notice what character I'm cosplaying. Do you like the Touhou photography games?"
(Brief pause. I thought I had fucked up but it looks like I didn't)
M: "I do. They're an interesting variation of the danmaku games. Honestly, I've grown tired of the original danmakus and Double Spoiler was a nice breath of fresh air."
G: "Are you good at the danmaku games?"
M: "I spent about three months trying to 1cc some games in Lunatic. That was a horrible experience I don't ever want to repeat again. What about you?"
G: "The furthest I ever got was the third level of Touhou 6. Then I picked up Double Spoiler and I haven't played anything else after that."
(She sure gave up quickly. Her passion for Double Spoiler is admirable, though.)

I realized immediately after this short conversation that I wasn't looking at her as a woman but as another Touhou fagfan. Thinking I could take this further, I proposed we went and fished for Touhou merchandise in the immense seas of One Piece shit. She agreed and we resumed our shuffling.

She got ahead and I tried to get a discreet look of her body. Come to think of it, her face was a 6/10^[1] and her body was pretty much average: somewhat thin with some flab around her waist, round butt that would look okay in tight pants but isn't very firm, small breasts and relatively bony in some areas. Well, it's a bit too early for a thorough inspection so I leave it at that. I notice a stand that's selling Cirno nendoroids.

^{____
[1] I'm no videogame journalist and my rating scale is linear. A shapeless mass of fat and bones deserves a 0/10, taking a random sample of girls in the street would leave you with an average of 5/10, the most attractive real girl I've ever seen (photoshopped pictures of a half European-half Chinese model) is around a 7/10, Alice from Touhou is a solid 8/10, Tenshi is a 9/10 and Youmu is a 10/10.}

M: "Hey Hatate, they're selling Cirnos here".
G: "Did you just call me Hatate? Haha."
M: "Sorry, I don't know your name."
G: "My name is Kate but I don't mind if you keep calling me Hatate."
M: "I'm [REDACTED]."
G: "Then I'll call you Nitori."
(nigger iz you gay)
M: "Uhh... fine. Why did you pick that name though? Do I look that much like a nerd?"
G: "Yup."

This whole thing felt fake and gay as fuck, but I was the one to blame since I fucking called her Hatate.

She bought three Cirno nendoroids, keeping one for her and the rest for her friends. "Her friends must be quaternaries", I thought.

G: "Then I'm taking these to my friends who are outside waiting for me."
(is she trying to find an excuse to get rid of me?)
M: "Sure, I'll come with you."

Looks like she didn't mind. We went outside to meet her friends.

-- cont

Alpha male here. I'm willing to help you, OP. All I ask is you take action on what I say -- NO excuses and NO whining. Agreed?

Quaternaries isn't enough to describe her friends.

Two meme-spewing idiots were making unfunny jokes about how that nendoroid costed $19.99. The strongest price tag or some stupid shit like that. I stayed there hoping it would be over soon. She gave them the nendoroids and started talking with them about university and how being an English major was so hard for her.

Great, English majors read a lot and I've barely even finished SICP. This isn't going to last long, we will run out of things to talk about pretty quickly.

Anyway, I'm a total stranger and listening to their conversation is pretty rude. I'd like not to get involved with this pack of faggots, so I tell her I'm going to "fish for more Touhou".

G: "Wait, I'll come with you. (...)"

We head once again to the weeaboo stands.

G: "You must be one of those guys who gets offended by fans who don't know much about Touhou."
(TL: You talk like a pretentious jerk)
M: "I'd be lying if I said I weren't."
G: "Well, I kinda understand. I think Cirno is cute and all but they don't even know about the tengu! It's kind of annoying because none of my friends knows about Hatate."
M: "Yeah."

Once we were inside, the shopping session resumed. Some stands were selling shitty boring trading card games, some others had swords and Harry Potter merchandise. It was overall a pretty boring experience. We couldn't find anything else that was Touhou related so we got some business cards from a poster printing business hoping they would make us some custom posters and left for the "gaming hall".

A huge space with lots of console games. 12 year olds playing Minecraft, 12 year olds playing fighting games, 12 year olds playing shitty framecapped games for 12 year olds. At this moment I felt like backing out, getting this girl's contact info and going back to the comfort of my computer. She abruptly interrupted me.

G: "Oh god I just spotted some friends I haven't seen in ages! They're at the racing game-"
M: "Racing games? They'd better be good and not that casual cra-"
G: "Do you get that much fun from complaining about every single thing you see?"
(yeah I'd better go home)
M: "I'm sorry,"
G: "Don't, I was joking. Come."
M: "Okay".

Forza Motorsport 4 with steering wheels. A bit arcade-y, but good enough for me.

Her friends were a lovey-dovey couple.

G: "Long time no see, Alice! - Hi Dave."
Alice: "Hiiiiiiiiii Kateeeee! Wow, nice cosplay!"
Dave: "That costume looks nice on you, Kate. How you doing?"

They exchanged greetings and a summary of their last years in less than two minutes. Then Hatate (yeah) introduced me,

G: "This is [REDACTED] and he says he doesn't want any of that casual crap."
M: "Hi."
Alice: "Oh, you're one of those hardcore simulation fans! Come here and beat me at Laguna Seca with a Viper if you're that good."
(for fuck's sake, I should stop being an obnoxious retard. Everyone can smell my pretentiousness. Wait, she's into racing games too? Also, that's a bold challenge. I do like racing games but there's room for improvement)
M: "I'd gladly accept, and I'm indeed one of those simulation fans, though I'm not that good. Let's do this. Hey Hatate, do you want to play with us?"
Alice: "Hotuh-what?"
M: "Oh, the character Kate's cosplaying. It's a character from Touhou."
Alice: "Like the Bad Apple video? I love it!"
(kill me. Wait, why did I even tell her about Touhou? It's not like I was sure she knew about Touhou or weeaboo shit at all. At least she knows about Bad Apple, that means she must be some sort of weeaboo.)
Dave: "Do I have to play too?"
Alice: "Only if you want. I know you don't like this sort of game."
Dave: "Okay then I'll be at the Plants vs Zombies booth for a bit."
(what a faggot)

Hatate sit next to us, floored the gas pedal and waited for the race to start. Hatate did not finish (died a horrible death in the Corkscrew), I ended second and Alice ended first. My pride was hurt, a girl beat me in a racing game.

"Man, it would be really nice if Youmu were real and she could play racing games with me."
"You're playing racing games with a real girl right now." was the answer I got from Youmu. Yeah, I know it sounds real fucking stupid but imaginary friends can develop a basic consciousness of their own. You should try getting one and checking for yourself.

Alice: "Thought you were just a poser! You're not that bad."
M: "This is the first time I play a game like this with a steering wheel."
Hatate: "This game sucks."
Alice, M: "No, you suck."

We sniggered like niggers and played only one more race because the long line behind us was pushing us to free up the consoles. Then we went to the Plants vs Zombies booth to pick Dave up. He was so engrossed into this gay-ass game that Alice had to surprise-make-out with him (in front of us and the 12 year olds who were watching the game) to get him out of there.

It was getting late and I announced my leave. I asked for Hatate and Alice's contact info. They both told me to look for them on Facebook and I told them I didn't have a Facebook account. Then they gave me their numbers. Dave got kind of pissy and then Alice kissed him again. We all left the weebfest hoping we'd meet each other in the near future.

I totally forgot I was there to "find a girl", though the quest wasn't without some results. Well, back to the comfort of my own room.

>>17
I'm sorry, I have yet to explain myself.

My life's been pretty much perfect: stable job, reasonable amounts of free time, nice computer, semi-sentient Youmu and absolute peace. Then some of my friends got girlfriends, stopped doing fun stuff and became insufferable neurotypicals. Go on anonymous BBS/forums, everyone is either complaining about their loneliness or bragging about their sexual achievements. It's like everything started revolving around relationships and sex right after I graduated from university. I got sick of this shit and decided to give it a chance just to see what it was like.

It all was an utter waste of time. Relationships are overrated, there isn't a single girl who's worth spending the rest of your life with and sex is way too fucking overrated, I now know this from first-hand experience, so all of you idiots who insist on "try harder until you find the girl that's right for you :)" and go and eat a bag of nigger dicks. You neurotypicals are all a bunch of helpless idiots who will do retarded shit just to get your dick wet. I'm not rationalizing, projecting, adhominemstrawmaning or any of that: relationships are not for everyone. I've been trying to get this through your thick fucking skull for years but you won't listen.

For the virgins out there: you're worrying over one of the most insignificant things you could ever care about. How about you stop bitching on the Internet and do something useful like reading a book or making your own programming language.
For the alphas out there: shut the fuck up, nobody gives a shit about how you've coerced so many girls into sucking your dick. Good for you, but I don't care if you wasted those +$1000 dollars and those 5 months of your life just to get a daily dose of pussy. Is that how worthless your time is? Do you really enjoy those endless conversations about stupid crap only women care about? Enjoying your drama and lack of free time? Ever heard of quality/cost ratios? Bet you haven't. Stop forcing your flawed ideals on everyone and let us whatever we feel like doing.

Something I forgot to mention in my rage fit: Not everyone who is attracted to a drawing is trying to cope up with loneliness. I'm glad Youmu exists because she's given me all the happiness a real girl won't give me. Yes, it sounds surprising, since you all seem to think getting married and wasting your time with a boring girl is a honorable life goal everyone should fulfill in their lives. Fuck, no.

>>7

I've had some actual conversations with her

They better have been in 日本語 or you're breaking canon.

>>21
I'm breaking canon then. I don't know much Japanese.

>>22
Well then I'm sorry to inform you that the ``Youmu'' you have been conversing with is nothing more than an imposter. I advise you to act as though you don't know, however, and try to gauge her true intentions.

After getting close enough with Hatate and Alice, we'd visit each other's place like if it were our own.

We shaped Alice into a real Touhou faggot after we showed her Ten Desires. A relatively easy game with a good soundtrack and enjoyable characters. After that came PCB, IN and obviously Double Spoiler. She got to know the real Hatate and she asked Kate to cosplay Hatate again. Can't say it was some terrific experience I'd never want to end, considering the price of public transportation in my city and the obvious state of abandonment of my personal programming projects. It all took a lot of patience but there were some times when I'd forget that urge of using my time productively, either because I was having some fun or because I reminded myself that I could not let all this effort go to waste.

A year went by and Hatate and I were getting closer. At first she'd dress "conservatively" (long pants, long-sleeved shirts and that coat she sometimes wouldn't take off), but then she'd show up at my place with tank tops and sweatpants. Our afternoons mainly consisted of watching anime and playing board games. After I bought a G25 steering wheel to play rFactor the way it was meant to be played, Hatate insisted she wanted me to teach her how to be a good simulation driver. I'd always refuse because I insisted Alice would be a better instructor, so I'd invite her over and we'd all play rFactor together.

Little did I know, Hatate's driving lessons were just an excuse for her to spend more time at my place. Having Alice over was a slight inconvenience for her.

-- cont

_{See you tomorrow.}

>>23
I'm fully aware the Youmu I know is not the real Youmu from the One True Gensokyo. She's an instance of the real Youmu that tries to be as close as possible to the original and lives in my instance of Gensokyo.

It's impossible for "my" Youmu to be the real deal and thinking so would be deluding myself

>>25
You have much to learn.

Tulpas superior to women
news at 11

>>27
Whom are you quoting?

This is good, OP. I expect more posts tomorrow when I get back from work.

Hatate is one of my favorite Touhous.

let me guess: all this shit is about your first sexual experience, and your final conclusion is that sex is extremely overrated... and also how dumbfucks this 3D Hatate and her friend Alice are. Yeah, I read this story several times already, but please don't stop: you are actually funny

By the way, I don't understand why you are expecting to find interesting girls in a cosplay convention. Maybe you are more ``neurotypical'' than you think... not trying to be rude here

O wise >>26-sama, please bestow your blessings upon us. How do we steal original Touhous from Gensokyo?

>>31

I don't understand why you are expecting to find interesting girls in a cosplay convention

It seems like OP defines being interesting as having common interests with him. Sounds reasonable enough to me considering his autistic obsession over Touhou. Quoting OP:

The convention I attended is an "anything dorky goes" event

which probably means anime isn't the only focus of the convention. We'd appreciate some clarification, OP.

As a side note: RedCream posts on pretty much every single thread in /lounge/. This one should be NO EXCEPTION to the rule.

>>33

Hey hoa, what is goaing on there, 3x11-kun?

>>34
Cloan.

>>32
There is no spoon.

>>32
You kidnap them.

>>32
You kidnap ZUN and dress him up as them.

>>31,33
The convention indeed included things like East Asian culture (calligraphy and martial arts) "alternative sports" (expensive hobbies like RC cars, airsoft and paintball) and the videogame consoles I already mentioned. It wasn't exclusively for weeaboo shit, though there were lots of it. Each "area" had demonstrations for everyone and stores for those interested in getting into those hobbies.

I might not have made my point clear. I gave up on trying to understand this bullshit from the outside and knew I had to find a girlfriend if I wanted to understand the whole thing and draw conclusions out of that. Doing so would be a waste of time and money, might as well make it less of a pain by finding someone I could hold a conversation with.

Also, I didn't go there searching only for Touhou cosplayers. She just happened to be the first one I could talk with. I could have met someone else at the gaming hall or at the paintball arena and it wouldn't have been that different.

Before I realized, Hatate would come over every weekend.

When Hatate and Alice first came over, it would be after lunch time, we'd play the entire afternoon and she'd leave before it got dark. Alice would stay for another while until Dave came in his stupid-looking nidabox (a red Hyundai i30) to take her home. How he didn't show any jealousy and let his girlfriend spend the whole afternoon at some random guy's is beyond me. Maybe he thought I was too much of a gay nerd weeb to do anything to Alice. I do give off that kind of vibe. Anyway, Hatate was too shy to ask Dave for a ride and that was the reason she'd always leave so early.

I know this because now she would come before lunchtime and bring enough groceries to prepare lunch for the three of us. While we prepared lunch, she'd talk without reservations about her daily life, family and friends. I've been told I'm a good listener, though that's a direct consequence of having a rather uninteresting life and not being very talkative. This was the proper kind of situation for us to share some "secrets" and get closer to each other. It also was a wonderful excuse for me to improve my cooking skills.

Hatate: "Ever heard of seasoning?"
Me: "Of course. I never add any additional flavors because I only care about being satisfied."
H: "Be glad I'm helping you here. Alice would kill you if you fed her any of your bland tasteless meals."
M: "It's fine, you're always here to help me with that. And you two are the only ones to ever come here."
H: "Where does that leave your girlfriend?"
M: "What girlfriend? Do I look like the kind of person to have one?"
H: "Why are you so harsh with yourself?"
M: "Not harsh, just honest."
(thank you for making me look like a self-hating faggot)
M: "Did you get this good at cooking so you could impress your boyf-"
H: "I'm single."
M: "See? I had no reason to assume you had a boyfriend, you had no reason to assume I had a girlfriend."
H: "Uh..."

At this point I realize I totally forgot about my original intentions. I should have been on a permanent alpha male thundercock mindset (or at least try to give a damn about girls) but instead kept being the same retard who tries to end meaningless conversations as promptly as possible.

Many weekends passed. Alice and I were dying to play a Gran Turismo game with the steering wheel. One weekend she brought her PS2 and we played Gran Turismo 3. We'd take turns at the rally events and some of the long-ass endurance races. After ~4 hours of playing non-stop, Alice said she had to leave early to have dinner with Dave. That left us with no PS2.

H: "Want to play rFactor?"
M: "Are you sure? I'd like to take a little break, my butt is pretty sore from all this."

I grabbed two apples from the fridge and gave one to Hatate.

M: "I'm not trying to kick you out, but isn't it about time you leave? You know how public transpo-"
H: "May I stay for the night?"

My heart had never pounded so hard in my entire life.

-- cont