Official Death Thread

This thread is death. Please post here if you want to be killed. After your post, your order will be process and our representative will deliver you to your doom within four to six weeks. We are currently not accepting request for custom deaths. You cannot cancel your request to be murdered, so please make sure you want to die before you post. Customer service is important to us, so if you survive being murdered, please let us know and we will remedy the situation free of charge. Please recommend our services to your friends in your last moments if you feel that your death was up to your standards. Thanks.

Are you available on Amazon Prime?

>>2
We have several representatives posted at Amazon warehouses, as many of our users are employed by Amazon. However, we are not directly listed on Amazon Prime.

Please kill me

Am I allowed to request death for another person?

>>5
Is that person yourself? If so, yes. Otherwise, it is not allowed.

>>6
How could I be someone other than myself?

>>7
I do not know.

>>8
Go educate yourself on the matter so you can tell me.

Make way for some piping hot dubs

Dubs, check em.

I hate Jews. I sent you my address in a PM.

>>7,8
You could not possibly be anyone other than yourself.
\forall A (A = A)

>>13
That doesn't disprove \exists B (A = B)

>>14
If ∀x, x=x, and ∃y, y=x, then ∀x,y, x=y, so if you are someone other than yourself, then that other someone is also yourself, then you are someone else that is not someone else. Contradiction. Therefore, you cannot be someone other than yourself. QED.

>>13
define "="

>>15

∀x, x=x, and ∃y, y=x

Is that Hebrew, Schlomo?

>>17
I've seen it already, that is some academic programming language, like Haskell, but using unicode symbols.

>>18
Why must the academic jews program our children with their gobbledygook???!

>>18
It's APL you dumbfuck.