Name: Anonymous 2020-01-01 4:00
Your humble author arrived a shade before one o'clock to a drab cold war era office complex. Were it not for the signs crowning its browned and battered fronting, that concrete igloo would have been indistinguishable from any other and yet – yet it would be the site of our tale. Whatever the cause of my burning urination, Gonorrhea, testicular cancer, or purposefully stabbing my penis with a discarded needle during a rare bout of somnambulation, it was within those walls that I had sought the cure for what ailed me. I, like many other freshly minted near-30-somethings, retained an attitude about my health more befitting a teenager but nonetheless was visibly healthy if a bit underweight. I was to see a different physician that day, a woman, who after a brief lookup on a privacy-respecting search engine I discovered to be marginally attractive. The idea of making my genitals as disgusting and musky as possible crossed through my mind a number of times during the morning, but I elected to simply come as I was and make no special preparations. Her nurse was tragically obese, as was the receptionist, though both were black so I didn't care. While making small-talk with the nurse, she took down my symptoms and made a joke about family gatherings and Christmas Ham. I laughed, not out of politeness, but because of the candor with which she broached the topic of food and no sooner had I done so she finished and left the room. I was soon greeted by the physician and to my surprise her figure was trimmer than the photo had led me to believe. She spent about five minutes in total groping my groin region and said it was likely a sexually transmitted disease that was the cause. I told her I had not been sexually active and after a final twisting of my scrotum she said something to the effect of: “There's nothing physically wrong at examination and there's no pain in the testicles, correct?” to which I answered: “It burns when I pee.” Fast forward to the lab cultures and it turns out, after filling two urine sample cups to the brim, that I have Gonorrhea.