Secret Area of ENTERPRISE Quality

Doko?

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Sounds fun.
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I dont want weeaboos on my /prog/

>>2
Cool free hot horny BB CO-EDs

>>3
I don't want fat people on my America

thx >>2-san I leveraged core skillsets and world-class team synergy through SICP to provide clients worldwide with robust, scalable, modern turnkey implementations of flexible, personalized, cutting-edge Internet-enabled e-business application product suite e-solution architectures that accelerate response to customer and real-world market demands and reliably adapt to evolving technology needs, seamlessly and efficiently integrating and synchronizing with their existing legacy infrastructure, enhancing the e-readiness capabilities of their e-commerce production environments across the enterprise while giving them a critical competitive advantage and taking them to the next level on cat she hiss at penis

>>6
You forgot synergy.

>>7
Read more carefully

>>8
Synergy needs to be mentioned twice if you want your product to be truly enterprise.

>>9
Can you combine both mentionings into a single mentioning? That way your pitch would utilize efficiency

>>10
Synergistic synergy

>>11
Only if you update them.

Which is more ENTERPRISE? To take twenty third party products written in C and Lisp and glue them together, or to write an in-house product in Java EE?

>>13
Java, Java is always the answer to ENTERPRISE

>>13
Taking third party products is more about laziness (or being a nigger) than ENTERPRISEness

ENTERPRISE programmers write their software with zero dependencies.

They create their own OS, own programming language and protocols. All for the gonna fly speed.

That is very true, >>16. Too bad the boss wants glued programs with scripts.

Define ENTERPRISE quality?

>>18
Java EE, DESIGN PATTERNS, AGILE METHODOLOGIES, bloat and a bit of >>2,6.

>>18
Enterprise programming is set of design patterns which make software too "flexible"/multi-purpose then really needed.
A function-level feature creep with plenty of unnecessary code reuse methods(e.g. making everything explicitly portable/callable/relocatable/reusable etc code) thrown in for good measure.
Its like antithesis to hacking.

ENTERPRISE PROGRAMMING is leveraging core skillsets and world-class team synergy through reusable design-pattern-oriented encapsulation and design methodologies to provide clients worldwide with robust, scalable, modern turnkey implementations of flexible, personalized, cutting-edge Internet-enabled e-business application product suite e-solution architectures that accelerate response to customer and real-world market demands and reliably adapt to evolving technology needs, seamlessly and efficiently integrating and synchronizing with their existing legacy infrastructure, enhancing the e-readiness capabilities of their e-commerce production environments across the enterprise while giving them a critical competitive advantage and taking them to the next level.

>>20
The funny thing is that every ENTERPRISE project I've worked on ends up being completely unportable, usually because the business logic gets hardcoded in.

>>21
That's the irony.

>>18

"Enterprise" is one of those buzzwords that is hot these days, but does not have a definition everyone agrees upon.

One definition: an application designed for corporate use. It helps the organization make money. Thus, games and consumer-oriented applications do not qualify.

Another common definition is that an enterprise application is one that interacts with multiple parts of a business/organization. Enterprise applications make use of databases and other organizational assets across a heterogeneous network.

Candidate features of enterprise applications (and the tools designed to develop them) include

Complex business logic
Access to relational databases
Distributed computing, generally using some sort of remote procedure call or remote method invocation protocol
Distributed transactions
Data exchange between heterogeneous systems
Message-oriented middleware
Directory and naming services
Interpersonal communication (e-mail, chat, shared documents, video-conferencing)
Security
Web-browser-based client interfaces
Integration with legacy systems
Integration with the systems of other businesses/organizations
Centralized administration and maintenance
Something that costs boat-loads of money (and is considered to be worth it by its sponsors)
Something that wastes boat-loads of money
Slow developer velocity to near zero with 3-minute start-up times
Give BEA and IBM Global Services reasons to exist
Applications that have reach across multiple functional areas in a company

>>20
If you're doing it properly, it shouldn't be hard to design the system to separate generic algorithms and processing from the business specific logic.

>>20

If you're doing it properly

If you're doing it properly, you can do lots of things.

JAVABEANS

>>25
except improper integrals

>>25
And if you're doing it improperly, you can do even more !