Hello, I shall soon be one of you!

Greetings again, you board full of losers. Today, I have taken the first step to becoming one of you, after years of just pretending. Today, I recurved in the mail (or email or something) a notice of academic suspension from my master's in CS program. That means that I finally succeeded in not being able to cut it as an actually productive programmer. Naturally, I will blame this on other people to the best of my ability as all good Schemers should. Now that that required step is out of the way, I can move on to absorbing lots of crap while opining on pretty much everything based on ancient academic crap. Since I am an extremely arrogant failure, I will do all of this from my parent's home in the country over a dialup connection. I will stop washing myself and my relatives will learn to stop asking about me. I hope that in a few years I can supplement this with severe sexism dysfunction, like maybe pedophilia or anything that cannot be reproduced in reality. I hope that I will fit in with the functional programming communities will!

Whatever you do, you will fail at life, even if you do everything right.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Webb#Aftermath_and_death
He had also had his motorcycle stolen (it was recovered from the thief, a Sacramento local who specialized in grand theft, by his family after his death) and lost his home (due to housing-market crash and his inability to get hired at a 'daily' newspaper) the week prior to his suicide.