How to be a REAL programmer

Let's face it. EXPERT PROGRAMMERS are all losers who never get any pussy. So are Real Programmers, but at least they might one day marry some old hag single mother and raise up someone else's kids^_*. And they will be polite and work quietly in a team while they do it. This is a guide on how you, yes you!, could learn to be a programmer and maybe even get a job and move out of your mother's shithole of a house and avoid getting murdered by Putin.

http://samizdat.mines.edu/howto/HowToBeAProgrammer.html

^{_{______________
*Don't get any weird ideas, pedos.}}

So are Real Programmers, but at least they might one day marry some old hag single mother and raise up someone else's kids

I think you mean ENTERPRISE coders
I know one case like this but the ENTERPRISE coder made one more child

>>1

To be a good programmer is difficult and noble. The hardest part of making real a collective vision of a software project is dealing with one's coworkers and customers.

A good programmer is a lonewolf. He doesn't deal with shit. He receives requirements, solves the problem and gets paid. Coworkers always act as impedance, slowing you down. Because of coworkers, you can't use fast tools, like Lisp, and have to use some Java, because it is better suited for big teams.

>>3

unityped
fast

You'll believe that until you try to solve a problem with Lisp.

>>4
>dynamic typing
>fast
anyway, whom are you quoting?

>>4>>5

types don't exist.

>>6
Numbers don't exist. Axioms don't exist. Can't touch a lemma. A statement? Can't see any.
What a fucking retard.

http://www.ehow.com/how_4446746_pass-preemployment-personality-test.html

all you need to know to land a programmer job.

especially note that business world hates asspies:

Although the casual applicant may think that neither of these are undesirable and that there is "no wrong answer," the hidden subtext of the question is trying to establish if you're an introvert or extrovert. You of course want your prospective employer to think you're an extrovert, so answer "true." This type of question may take several forms, so be on the lookout. Here are some more examples of questions like this and the correct answers.

>>4
Strict typing is premature optimization. Fuck off, faggot.

>>10
It's neither pre-mature nor a mere optimization. Static type discipline is a tool that enhances development, prototyping and refactoring speeds.

>>11
Does it also boost your AGILE DEVELOPMENT PROCESSES with INFINITE SCALABILITY?

MVC programming in Haskell to create spreadsheets and reactive animations:
http://www.haskellforall.com/2014/06/spreadsheet-like-programming-in-haskell.html