For LAC

Could you make a tutorial/guide that will help people (and retards) for full standard conformance of their programs please?

STEP 1: STRETCH!

STEP 2: DO SUM LITE CALISTHENICS!

STEP 3: REED DA FUKIN STANDARD!

STEP 4: GET INTO SHITTY ARGUMENTS DAT GO NOWHERE ABOUT DA FUKIN STANDARD WITH ALL DA SKINNY, NERDY AUTISTS DAT U FIND ON FORTUNE.ORG/G/. OR U KUD ARGUE WIT A BUNCH OF INDIAN TEECHERZ -- IF U GET LUCKY U MITE FIND ONE OR TWO ON YAHOO ANSERZ. INDIANZ LUV SAYIN YAHOO SO DEY ALL SWARM AROUND DAT WEBSITE.

STEP 5: REPEAT STEPZ 3 AND 4 UNTIL U MANAGE TO PROVE SOME1 RONG (JUST KIDDING, DAT AINT FUKIN POSSIBLE WEN UR TALKIN 2 RETOIDS WHO AINT RED DA FUKIN STANDARD N R CONVINCED DAT DEYRE DA BEZT PROGRAMMAZ IN DA WURLD)

STEP 6: WRITE PROGRAMZ WIT UR NEW FOUND BELIEF DAT UR DA BEZT PROGRAMMER IN DA FUKIN WURLD

OR U CUD SKIP DOSE FUKIN STEPZ, FIGURE OUT WAT PLATFORMS U GOTTA SUPPORT, N WORK TOWARD WRITING CODE DAT WORKS ON ALL OF EM. U GOTTA FACE IT -- ANY PROGRAM WORTH WRITIN PROBABLY KANT BE WRITTEN 100% IN PORTABLE, STANDARD C. WRITE DA PARTS DAT CAN BE WRITTEN LIKE DAT AS PORTABLY AS U CAN, AND SEPARATE DA PORTABLE CODE FROM DA NON-PORTABLE CODE BY POPPIN EM IN DIFFERENT MODULES. DA INTERFACES 2 DOSE MODULES (THINK HEDER FILES, JUNIOR) SHUD BE AS PORTABLE AS U KAN MAKE EM.

WAT U NEED IS A GOOD BOOK ON PROGRAMMING PRACTICE LIKE TPOP. DONT LET DA FUKIN STANDARD ROT UR BRAIN LIKE IT DID MINE, OTHERWISE ULL BE LIKE DIRTY OLD JOSEPH DA UNIX HAKKER, N ULL BE SITTING DER ON ##C ON FREENODE ALL DAY YELLIN AT PEOPLE 4 ASSUMIN DAT CHAR_BIT == 8. OR WORSE, ULL BE SITTIN ON DIS FUKIN BORED ALL DAY YELLIN AT ALL DA FUKIN STAK BOIZ

BUT SERIOZLY, KEEP A COPY OF DA STANDARD HANDY N USE IT WENEVER U AINT SURE ABOUT SOMETHING. NEVER HURTZ TO RUN A LINT (BUT DONT TAKE ITZ FUKIN MESSAGES 2 SERIOUSLY), OR COMPILE UR CODE WITH WARNING FLAGZ EITHER.

DONT LET DA FUKIN STANDARD ROT UR BRAIN LIKE IT DID MINE, OTHERWISE ULL BE LIKE DIRTY OLD JOSEPH DA UNIX HAKKER, N ULL BE SITTING DER ON ##C ON FREENODE ALL DAY YELLIN AT PEOPLE 4 ASSUMIN DAT CHAR_BIT == 8. OR WORSE, ULL BE SITTIN ON DIS FUKIN BORED ALL DAY YELLIN AT ALL DA FUKIN STAK BOIZ

but I want to, I enjoy to

>>2
Which calisthenics do you recommend?

>>2
#if CHAR_BIT != 8
fuck you and fuck your shitty platform
#endif

>>5
#if CHAR_BIT == 8
# error "Youre mom lol"
#endif
fixed

>>4
GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS

#define CHAR_BIT (random()%8)

>>8

CHAR_BIT

redefining a macro given by the standard library in a hosted implemetation is undefined behavior

random

this is not part of the standard library

%8

CHAR_BIT should be atleast 8 based on the standard

Now check if my anus is STANDARD COMPLIANT.

>>10
Your anus is 100% pure and STANDARD COMPLIANT, can I touch it?

>>4
JUMPING JACKS GET DA BLOOD MOVING

>>8
WAT R U A FUKIN RETOID? FUK. JUST REED >>9

>>12
Just wondering, do you browse /g/?

>>12-13
back to /g/, turdcutters

>>14
My question was not to redirect him, I was just wondering if he still does it (anonimusly) because I know that he was posting there
It was just a honest offtopic question

>>13
ONLY WEN I NEED MATERIAL 4 MY JOKE BOOK

>>16
Can you read us some excerpts from your joke book?

>>17
I will start
``le'' --DA JOKE BOOK CH. 1, PG 1

>>18
``le connard enculer'' happens to be my favourite /prog/ meme, thanks for reminding me of it.

>>17
BETTER YET, IN DA SPIRIT OF FORTUNE.ORG/G/, Y DONT I TELL YA A STORY ABOUT A YOUNG DICK STALLMAN?

ONE DAY DEANIS RICKY WANNED TO BUY A FUCKIN GOLDFISH N HE HAD A FRIEND AT MIT WHO WAS GONNA HOOK HIM UP. SO WE DRIVE OVER 2 MIT N DICK STALLMAN'S HANGIN AROUND WITH DIS FREND OF HIS. ANYWAY, IM OFF TALKIN TO SOME GIRLS I SAW ON DA WAY OVER AND DEANIS GOES 2 CONDUCT BUSINESS WITH DESE GUYS. FEW MINUTES LATER DICK'S RUNNING ACROSS DA ROOM LIKE SPEEDY FUCKIN GONZALIS! (HE WASNT A FATASS AT DIS POINT) SO ANYWAY, DICK'S HEADIN UP DESE FUCKIN STAIRS AND DEANIS'S FRIEND'S CHASIN AFTER HIM. DEANIS HAS DA LOOK DOSE FAT CATS AT DA ISO GAVE ME WEN I TOOK A SHIT ON DA STANDARD. SO ME N DA GIRLS GO OVER TO HIM N WE GO UP DA STAIRS TOGETHER.

WEN WE GET DER DA WHOLE PLACE IS A FUCKIN MESS. DER'S FOOD EVERYWHERE, DA PLACE STINKS N IT'S OBVIOUSLY DICK'S FUCKIN RAT NEST COS HE'S LAYIN DOWN IN DIS BEANBAG CHAIR LIKE ITS HIS FUCKIN BED. I'M FUCKIN CONFUSED AT DIS POINT SO I ASK WAT'S GOIN ON AND DEANIS'S FRIEND TELLS ME DICK STOLE DEANIS'S GOLDFISH. DIS PISSES DICK OFF N HE SHOUTS, "I was freeing it from a life of oppression!" SO WE GET DA FISH OFF DICK N GUESS WAT? IT'S FUCKIN DEAD!

N DAT'S HOW I MET DICK DA FUKIN STALL MAN

>>20
Fucking Stallman. I really hate him. RIP dmr's goldfish.

>>20
For some reason this story always reminds me of the "undocumented features" fanfic. http://www.eyrie.net/UF/CORE/uf.txt

>>21
It's an Internet story. There's no point in believing in anonymous stories.

>>23
LAC never lies.

>>19
Le Georges-Louis Sage

>>20

MURDEROUS KIKE

>>23
There's no point in not believing in anonymous stories.