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Microsoft's New Language: Speedy

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 2:42

Looks like Microsoft has outdone themselves once again. This time they're going up against Apple's Swift language.

http://msdn.microsoft.com/speedy/

Looks like this is the new language for Windows 9, all other languages are deprecated, from C# to VB.NET, and the only way to use all of the Windows 9 features is to program in Speedy.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 2:58

I believed it.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 2:58

>>15
GUIs are an inferior form of UI. Touch and voice even more so.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 3:15

>>2
I clicked too; should've known better...

Really though, given that WinDiv won the last round with WinRT (hello again COM, we didn't miss you!) the pendulum will have swing back to DevDiv eventually. And since C# has surely lost its sheen by now we may very well see another language that tries to make the CLR sexy again.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 3:46

I didn't believe it. Microsoft is to enterprisey. They benefit greatly from having dozens of obsolete, incompatible shit being used. A business running VB6 is unlikely to switch to, say, LISP, but maybe to VB.NET. If they had a single language that everything was done it, it would be too easy for a competitor to make a similar product (see Oracle forms for a blatant ripoff of VB) and steal those sweet contracts.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 4:11

>>5
Microsoft Visual LISP .NET 2015 Team Enterprise Solutions Architect Edition

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 4:59

>>2
Swift
Speedy
Sure, that's so believable! Doesn't look like a joke at all.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 7:10

Typical M$. This is part of their EEE plan. Who would want some M$ version of LIPTH?

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 8:57

>>6
Microsoft Visual ASSEMBLY .NET 2015 Team Enterprise Solutions Architect Edition

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 9:39

>>8
It can't be EEE, you can't extinguish what is already dead.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 16:06

George: Oh no! They've broken through!

Sally: Aughh!

Sally grabs a fire extinguisher from the wall and sprays the zombies.

George: You can't extinguish what is already dead.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 16:33

>>11
Needs more embracing.
Also: nice dubs!

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-09 18:17

George: Oh no! They've broken through!

Sally: Aughh!

Sally embraces a fire extinguisher from the wall and sprays the zombies.

George: You can't extinguish what is already dead.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-10 4:15

>>13
No, you talentless Jew. Sally embraces George, causing an extension in his penis and an eruption of white liquid that extinguishes the zombies.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-10 4:22

>>14
Doesn't she orgasm as well?

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-10 4:27

>>15

Females can't orgasm.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-10 5:37

>>16
wrong, gayboy

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-10 22:39

>>17

Prove it.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-10 22:41

>>18
You're the one who made the baseless assertion, you prove it first you homosexual misogynist virgin

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-11 2:24

>>19

Your jewish logics won't work against me, worthless humanities undergrad.

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-11 3:02

Welcome to hell, who gives a shit!

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-11 3:07

YOU'RE SPEEDY GONZALIS!

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-11 3:09

>>22

Nice dubs!

Name: Anonymous 2014-08-13 2:57

Speedy Parsnipman.
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