god tier jobs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHBHEWyZ1Xw
'
>you will never work at Bell Labs programming and designing the TCP/IP stack for the new UNIX operating system
>4chanssadfrogface.jpeg

I can't even grow a full 70's hacker beard ;_;

Where the fuck do I find a job working w/ god-tier programmers? When looking for jobs, what are some of the things I should look out for?

I am surrounded by people who use SVN because Git is too complex to install. Everyone is writing Java. Front-end developers use <table> for layout. SOAP. Maven. Years of Java experience but unable to setup a simple project. Endless meetings. Mono-lingual developers, uninterested in learning new things (or even the current things).

After a reboot of the development server SVN was down for a week because the daemon wasn't set to auto-start. Everyone is deadly afraid of the command line. Instead of logging in and looking around they contact the hosting provider who tells them there's not enough RAM. Yes, they bought it.

I moved out of web development to get away from the PHP brocoders and now I have to deal with this shit. Is the situation hopeless? Should I just get out of programming entirely?

Help!