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god tier jobs

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-23 23:22

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHBHEWyZ1Xw
'
>you will never work at Bell Labs programming and designing the TCP/IP stack for the new UNIX operating system
>4chanssadfrogface.jpeg

I can't even grow a full 70's hacker beard ;_;

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-23 23:27

>4chanssadfrogface.jpeg
holy fucking SHIT epic meme XDDDDD

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-23 23:39

What's today's Bell Labs?

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-23 23:42

>>2
le pedophile sage

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-23 23:43

fuck off, I;m not using your jewtube

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-24 0:04

>>3
NSA and Google.

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-24 2:08

I could sure use some Taco Bell Labs!

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-24 15:31

>>7
Taco Bell's nachos are awful

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-25 2:27

>>8
Nobody eats Taco Bell for their nachos, idiot. They eat it for their FIVE LAYER BURRITOS.

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-25 8:05

I only use the internet for its FIVE LAYER STACK.

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-25 8:06

Dbus.

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-25 19:20

>>10
You mean 7?

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-25 20:06

>>12
It's the same thing.

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-27 4:46

>>10
>>12
It's 4

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-27 5:34

>>13
TCP/IP/OSI

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-27 10:44

I heard that the NSA is hiring engineers to work on systemd. This could be your chance!

Name: L. A. Calculus !jYCj6s4P.g 2014-11-27 12:42

>>1
you will never work at Bell Labs programming ...
I ALREDY DID YA FUCKIN RETOID

NOW GET DA FUCK OUTTA MY THRED

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-27 13:48

>>17
Do you support systemd?

Name: Anonymous 2014-11-27 14:51

I heard Taco Bell is hiring fryers to work on their frito burrito. This could be your chance!

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-04 14:27

Adding to the list:
-PARC
-CERN
-CSAIL
-MITRE
-RAND

If your company's name is not spelled in caps lock then is faggot tier.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-04 14:32

ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-04 14:42

deflate my anus

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-04 14:44

So is working at HLM cool?

http://www.highlevelmarketing.com/

Name: L. A. Calculus !jYCj6s4P.g 2014-12-04 14:59

>>18
BAK IN DA DAY MY INIT SYSTEM WAS A 4 LINE SHELL SCRIPT. N DAT'S ALL IM GONNA SAY ABOUT DAT.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-04 17:54

>>24
Relax, Grandpa, a lot of things changed since you were in your programmer years.

Name: L. A. Calculus !jYCj6s4P.g 2014-12-04 18:33

YEA, NOWADAYS U GOT A BUNCH OF FUKKIN STAK BOIZ WHO WRITE BLOATED SHIT, DA ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NOW N DEN IS DEY DONT CALL IT BLOATED SHIT ANYMORE, DEY CALL IT "Centralized Design"

N JUST FOR DA RECORD, LENNART POETTERING'S A FUCKIN SISSY. EVEN A FUCKIN FACIAL RECOGNITION PROGRAM THINKS SO: http://s4.postimg.org/bnrm7v0y5/lennart.png

NOW GET DA FUK OUTTA MY THRED N FETCH ME DA PAPER, YA YOUNG WHIPPERSNAPPER

Name: L. A. Calculus !jYCj6s4P.g 2014-12-04 18:51

YEA, MAY B OFF BY 5%, BUT ASIDE FROM DAT ITS PRETTY FUKKIN ACCURATE: http://s21.postimg.org/wm6m6eg07/lac.png

IF WE JUST TOOK DA COMPUTERS OFF DA FUCKIN SISSIES (N RETOIDS LIKE DICK STOOLMAN DA FISH KILLER) UR LUNIX DISTROS WUD COME WITH DECENT SOFTWARE. PROGRAMMIN'S MEN'S WORK. U PUT A WOMAN IN FRONT OF A COMPUTER N SHE'S LIKE "OMG I WANT TO MAKE EVERYTHING PINK THEN I WANT A NICE COUCH THEN I WANT A NICE CHANDELIER THEN I WANT A NICE CAR THEN I WANT A NICE GARAGE FOR THE CAR THEN I WANT TO MAKE THE CAR PINK THEN I WANT TO PUT FLUFFY PINK THINGS ON THE STEERING WHEEL THEN I WANT ..." N SHE JUST KEEPS GOIN ON N ON N ON N ON ADDIN ALL DA FUCKIN USELESS FEATURES TILL UR USIN A BLOATED PILE OF CRAP DAT DOES EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR INITIALISING UR FUCKING SYSTEM.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-07 20:04

Adding to the list:
-FNAL (aka Fermilab)
-LANL

confirming that capslock names are G-d tier

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-07 20:15

>>28
They get their money for nothing and their chicks for free?

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-07 21:08

https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_cfaLPy0aD0o/THdRpyF6GDI/AAAAAAAAAjA/0PfnrCuAhII/s1600/sk_03-wm.jpg
> you will never navigate through the cold waters of the Super-Kamiokande under Mt Kamioka, Japan

why should I keep living /prog/?

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-07 21:18

>>30
To check >>33's dubs.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-07 23:47

Toilet scrubber is the only thing the people ITT can aspire to.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 0:06

Check 'em

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 4:21

>>28
And "Bell Labs" is not cocklocked: the reason why they are now dead (or rebranded by a mexican multibillionaire)

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 8:45

>>34
Into a taco restaurant?

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 8:54

>>35
I loves me the taco bells!

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 20:04

>>34
Alcatel-Lucent acquired Bell Labs, but they didn't rebrand it.

Someone should buy tacobell-labs.com.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 21:33

>>9
A monad is like a burrito.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 22:07

>>38
that makes sense! now i finally understand monads.

And good luck >>40­-get-sama!

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 22:07

nah

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 22:30

>>39
You should be wishing luck to >>44-dubs-sama instead. He surely will be inviting us to check em.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-08 23:23

>>41
I wish I had your confidence. If I am being honest with myself, I cannot expect that the thread will survive that long.

Gentlemen, it has been an honor shitposting with you these past weeks.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 1:43

>>42
But we're so close. The next reply will be dubs! Don't leave!

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 1:52

wife

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 2:01

>>44
Nice, bro xD

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 2:25

>>44
le pedophile sage

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 2:42

>>44
IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

　　　　　♪　　☆
　　　♪　　　／ ＼　　　 O beautiful for spacious skies,
　　　　　　ヽ(´Д｀;)ﾉ 　　For amber waves of grain,
　　 　 　　　 (　 へ) 　　　For purple mountain majesties
　 　 　 　 　　く 　　　　　　Above the enameled plain!

　　　♪　　　　☆
　　　　　♪　 ／ ＼　　　America! America!
　　　　　　ヽ（;´Д｀）ﾉ　　God shed His grace on thee,
　　 　 　　　 (へ　 ) 　　　Till souls wax fair as earth and air
　 　 　 　 　　　　 >　　　 And music-hearted sea!

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 3:25

>>47
∩∩
| U |～
| ∧∧
|(,,ﾟДﾟ) ＜　That was beautiful!
Ｕ~Ｕ

Name: OD SAYS 2014-12-09 9:34

Where the fuck do I find a job working w/ god-tier programmers? When looking for jobs, what are some of the things I should look out for?

I am surrounded by people who use SVN because Git is too complex to install. Everyone is writing Java. Front-end developers use <table> for layout. SOAP. Maven. Years of Java experience but unable to setup a simple project. Endless meetings. Mono-lingual developers, uninterested in learning new things (or even the current things).

After a reboot of the development server SVN was down for a week because the daemon wasn't set to auto-start. Everyone is deadly afraid of the command line. Instead of logging in and looking around they contact the hosting provider who tells them there's not enough RAM. Yes, they bought it.

I moved out of web development to get away from the PHP brocoders and now I have to deal with this shit. Is the situation hopeless? Should I just get out of programming entirely?

Help!

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 15:03

>>49
terrible! you may look for some enterprise flavored FP languages like Clojure and Scala.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-09 15:15

>>49
Programming is not something that should be done as a job. It is a form of pure art and should always be a hobby. Get a job as a waiter or a toilet scrubber - anything that will allow you to own a computer with electricity in it. Then program on your off days and at nights.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-10 4:47

>>51
go build another universe you fat autist

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-10 5:22

SMELL A CUNT IN YOUR MIND PALACE

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-10 10:30

　　 　　＿＿／二二二＼＿＿_
　　／○　 　 　|[FAG]| 　　　○＼
　　|────┏━━┓────|
　　|━━━┓┃┏┓┃┏━━━|
lol |（´∀｀）┃┃┃┃┃┃（・∀・）| HERE COMES THE MAN TRAIN!
　　|━━━┛┃┗┛┃┗━━━| *CHOO CHOO*
　　|────╂──╂────|
　　|　 　 　 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 　 　 　|
　　|　 　 　 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 　 　 　|
　　|　● 　 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 　 ●　|
　 　|　　① 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 ①　　|
　　　|_＿＿＿ .二二二. ＿＿＿_|
　 　 │　　　　│[=.=］｜　　　　|
　 　 └─────────┘
　 　 　 ─／／────＼＼─
　 　 ─／／──────＼＼─
　─ ／／　__∧＿∧_ 　 ──＼＼─
　　　　　　　|（　＾д＾ ）|　＜What's that gay noise?
　　　　　　　|＼⌒⌒⌒＼
　　　　　　　＼ |⌒⌒⌒~|　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　 ~￣￣￣￣

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-10 22:15

ⒸⒽⒺⒸⓀ ⒺⓂ ⒹⓊⒷⓈ

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-10 23:10

>>55
Very epic maymay indeed

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-11 0:46

>>51
An while you work, day dream about the problems you are solving.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-14 21:24

Hey there! we are currently looking for an amazing superstar ninja developer who could help us to scale and define the future of enterprise remote dildos. If you are an expert Java, Ruby, and C# coder please reply to this post and I will PM you with more information about this role.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-14 21:30

>>58
I am Haskal coder...

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-14 21:49

>>59
Sorry but we are only hiring real software engineers. If you are interested in an internship position please send me your portfolio and a cover letter.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-14 21:50

>>59
By the way, do you have any experience with TDD and SDLC?

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-14 21:59

>>61
test drive my anus

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-16 20:15

>>61
Do I have experience with outdated metrics-first, results-last design methodologies?
Ech. For enterprise rockstar devs actually concerned with their deliverables, waterfall design is the only way to go.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-16 21:21

Nintendo 64 get.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-16 21:32

>>64
nice dubs
>>65
nice timestamp dubs
>>66
nice dubs

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-16 21:34

>>65
22:32
Haha, loser.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-16 21:34

wHY THE FUCK IS YOUR SERVER'S CLOCK NOT THE SAME AS MINE
IT WAS 22:33 GOD DAMMIT

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-16 21:59

>>67
This is a tragedy. Please, let us be polite, and disregard >>67-sama's failure.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-17 4:06

>>68
I'm so sorry. I can't.
It's just so horrible and obvious that I can't avert my eyes or mind from it.
>>67-chan you really fucked up bad.

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-29 22:04

NICTA
http://ssrg.nicta.com/

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-30 16:10

>>70
Nigger Institute of Car Theft and Anal?

Name: Anonymous 2014-12-31 11:02

>>71
Niggers Tongue My Anus
Don't change these.
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