Hairy Anus Theorem

It is possible to comb the hair along a hairy anus by combing the hair perfectly flat counter clockwise or clockwise along the anus, depending on the anus owner's orientation.

It is possible to comb the all the hair on gay male's anus.

The anus is combed when no uncombed hair on it exists
Gay anus is shaven
Therefore gay anus is combed

A straight anus can be combed only if the anus hair doesn't form a continuous surface that leads up to the head.

There are known solutions for specific straight anii, such as Swedish one (well studied, efficient algorithms exist), Japanese anus and the French anus.

Particularly problematic straight anii are the American one (anus surface is very irregular and big), slavic one (high number of hairs and hair length) and german one (large fecal particles).

(Straight) Anus Combing Problem is one of the mileaniial problems.