Hairy Anus Theorem

It is possible to comb the hair along a hairy anus by combing the hair perfectly flat counter clockwise or clockwise along the anus, depending on the anus owner's orientation.

is the anus continuous? is the rest of the body attached to the anus? if so, is the rest of the body also hairy?

Klein's Anus

Untrue.
You forget that anus hair often gets pieces of fecal matter stuck in it, meaning that the hair can't be combed and must instead be pulled out.

>>4
This case is covered by the dingleberry lemma, which states that all ani can be undingleberried with sufficiently many comb strokes when the strength of the comb approaches infinity.

>>5
Yes, well that may be the case in theory, but in practice an anal comb's strength is limited based on what materials are available.
An anal comb made from carbon nanotubes is strong, probably as strong as we can currently make, but it will still fail should it meet a stubborn enough obstruction.

What is the evolutionary purpose of anus hair, anyway? It's like a bunch of pointless steel-wool that my shit has to be forced through and prevents me from wiping easily.

>>7
Maybe it's more difficult for insects to get down there because of it.
Maybe it helps you move without requiring lubricant.
Maybe it muffles your farts and helps you be the silent assassin you know you were born to be.

>>7

evolutionary purpose

no such thing

>>11
I am checking your dubs!

>>7
Try shaving it and you'll have your question answered in the most convincing fashion.

It is possible to comb the all the hair on gay male's anus.

The anus is combed when no uncombed hair on it exists
Gay anus is shaven
Therefore gay anus is combed

A straight anus can be combed only if the anus hair doesn't form a continuous surface that leads up to the head.

There are known solutions for specific straight anii, such as Swedish one (well studied, efficient algorithms exist), Japanese anus and the French anus.

Particularly problematic straight anii are the American one (anus surface is very irregular and big), slavic one (high number of hairs and hair length) and german one (large fecal particles).

(Straight) Anus Combing Problem is one of the mileaniial problems.

>>12
Researchers are working on deforming a person to a sphere, combing the hair on the spherical human so it flows as a rotation with the two polls being the hairless points at the center of the anus, and the inside of the belly button, and then deforming the person back to normal. Unfortunately, no subjects have yet survived the deformation process.