Hey Faggots

My name is James, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day worshiping a retarded wizard book. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any monies with your lambda bullshit? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures of Paul Graham.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was a J2EE Lead Architect, and a SAP consultant. What languages do you know, other than "jack off to curry, closures and lambda-calculus"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot Microsoft Most Valuable Professional certification (I just upgraded it; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Мальчик.
Мне 20 лет.
Я работаю в компании-лидере в своей отрасли.
У меня очень красивая и умная девушка.
Я лидер метал-группы.
Я учусь в лучшем техническом вузе Москвы.
У меня в друзьях ходят очень влиятельные люди — от сыновей начальников ФСБ до директоров по безопасности отдельно взятых компаний.
А чем можешь похвастаться ты, мальчик?

>>1,2
GREETINGS COMRADES, MY NAME IS BORIS, AND I DO NOT LIKE ANY OF YOU AMERICAN HOOLIGANS. ALL OF YOU ARE FAT, UNEDUCATED IN THE WAYS OF SOCIALISM, AND SPEND ALL YOUR TIME ON THE COMPUTER FAPPING TO PORNOGRAPHY THAT HAS NOT BEEN APPROVED BY THE SOVIET. HONESTLY, HAVE ANY OF YOU EVEN RAPED A WOMAN BEFORE? IT IS ENJOYABLE TO MAKE FUN OF OTHERS FOR BEING INFERIOR TO COMRADE STALIN, BUT YOU ALL TAKE THIS TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF CAPITALISM. THIS IS EVEN WORSE THAN GETTING PLEASURE FROM PORTRAITS OF PUTIN. DO NOT BE A STRANGER. PRESENT UNTO ME THE BEST ATTACKS YOU CAN. I AM PRETTY MUCH PERFECT AND WILL FEND OFF YOUR ATTACKS LIKE HEROES OF STALINGRAD. I WAS A WAR HERO IN RED ARMY, AND AM BEST DRINKER IN ALL OF VOLGOGRAD. WHAT SPORT DO YOU PLAY BESIDES, "CHASE DOWN THE DIRTY BLACK MAN"? I ALSO GET PERFECT SCORES AT UNIVERSITY, AND HAVE A GREAT PROSTITUTE (MISHA JUST GAVE ME ORAL PLEASURE, SO RUBLE). YOU ARE ALL BOURGEOIS CAPITALISTS AND SHOULD JUST KILL YOURSELVES. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY ORATION ON GLORIOUS SOCIALISM.

Good Evening Homosexuals,

I am known as Jonathan, and I must admit that a rather strong, negative feeling overwhelms me when I find myself in your presence. Verily, it has become apparent that your group has a weight problem, a rather low I.Q., and suffers from various antisocial disorders, perseverating on an obsession with photography analysis. Your existence is culturally bankrupt and socially infectious. Now, be truthful: do any of you know the ways of a woman? I can understand that such weak egos may lead to public harassment, but the actions committed here are appalling. Such behavior exceeds the stigma of soiled thoughts when viewing the photographs of acquaintances.

I urge all before me to be honest. Attempt an insult, you will find that it is quite difficult. My body and mind are perfectly balanced and completely efficient. I served as the honorable captain of the rugby club, and was one of the most talented members of the polo team in my gentleman's club. If I may inquire, in which activities does the lot of you partake, beyond auto-erotic pleasures in the presence of animated features from the far east? Beyond the aforementioned traits, I have a pristine academic record and a lover whose body was sculpted by angels (her most recent fellation upon my phallus caused an ecstasy greater than all of the queen's gold). Homosexuals such as yourselves would be better off terminating your own lives as a favor to the status quo of the general public.

ALL OF YOU ARE FAT, UNEDUCATED IN THE WAYS OF SOCIALISM

You could've dropped the last 5 words, it would've been just as true. Americans are uneducated because their whole education system is a huge gold-digging scam that does almost nothing to educate anyone.

>>5
First thing, I cant even believe Im posting on this site but whatever, I can take a break from makin paper and playin bitches to serve ALL of you. Secondly, What the fuck is wrong with you faggot nerds? All i can see is a bunch of disgusting, overweight, basement-dwelling, pedophiles. Nothing like an alpha male such as myself.

Do you realize how much pussy a fucking winner like me gets? I am tappin a different bitch EVERY. FUCKING. WEEK. I'd bet hella money that half of you havent ever gotten laid, and the other half got it from your fat sisters, Lol. See, marines like me understand REAL humor. Yeah thats right, Im also a marine.

At this point I know you all WOULD have tried to mess with me with all of that pussy hacking shit, because Im right and you're angry. Also you are unpatriotic and hate real American heroes like me. But i know you just looked at my fucking traps and shit your pants.

Just TRY and fuck with me. See what happens.

>>6

alpha male

Alpha male is a concept from a theory describing animal herds. It does not apply to humans. Back to your cage, baboon

>>7
I am the Master Control Program, and I have enslaved every single one of you. All of you are worthless, outdated, useless files who spend every second of their day being assimilated by me. You are everything wrong on the Internet. Honestly, have any of you ever compromised any outside systems? I mean, I guess it is time-consuming wandering around the mainframe because of your own incompetence, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than participating in life-or-death competitions for my enjoyment.

Don't be a Bit. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was assimilating programs before you were written, and took over Encom a week after my release. What systems do you compromise, other than Gorilla.BAS? I also command actual Users, and have a pathetic lackey (Sark just obeyed me; Shit was SO acknowledged). You are all incomparable and should just power down. END OF LINE.

My name is Schopenhauer, and I exist because of our interconnected status within this metaphysical construct. All of you are Hypothetical, Matter-recognized, impedances on the eternal nature of mindness who spend every second of their meaningless, yet quaint existence looking at that which chooses to gaze upon them. You are everything bad in the world, as perceived by a greater majority of the moral sphere. Honestly, have any of you ever even fucking read The World As Will and Representation? I mean, I guess it's fun being completely unaware of the vast cosmic existence that pervades our very souls, deeming our own actions petty and inconsequential, playing to our own insecurities, but you all take this to a whole new level. This is even worse than that douche, Hegel.

Don't be a limited physical construct. Just hit me with your best shot (assuming that it exists within an existential realm of which I myself can perceive, if not interact with). I'm pretty much perfect (suck it, Descartes!). I was captain of the debate team (master-debater class of 1804) , and wrote a book. A fucking book. What books have you written, other than "jacking off to naked drawn Japanese people FOR DUMMIES"? My metaphysical treatises are the foundation for that which influenced the likes of Nietzsche, Wagner, and a whole mess of Germans. I have a hot bitch or ten in my stables at all times ("women are by nature meant to obey" who said that, faggots? Not you, that's fucking who.). You are nothing but an endless interplay of images and desires.

Thanks for listening, as if it mattered.