Seriously, they are just a couple of sacks of meat. Why the fuck do men go crazy about them? It makes no fucking sense. I am not a fucking child; I have no need for breast milk. Surely this has to be a mass dick waving contest or something, where very guy has t try to profess his love of tits more than everyone else or be called gay.
Well I'm going to break this cycle. I am no fag and I like tits perky and small, or if not that, then flat. Not a fucking pair of exploding masses of fat smashed together.
HAHAHAHAHAHA. Go talk to anyone who actually works in the programming industry who the vast majority of wizard books are targeted for. Guess who they will say? Children and young teens.
>>Go to America you will see grownups with SICP ringtones, and anything SICP you will see for yourself
Bullshit.
You knights who are still under this impression that SICP is mainstream (which it isn't outside of things like MIT) and is the same as satorization you really need to read this: http://www.thinkartlab.com/pkl/media/SUSHIS_LOGICS.pdf
In the end, SICP is not read by everyone in america. It is not mainstream. Thinking in C++ on the other hand is mainstream within the american society.
I believe that most heterosexual intercourse i.e. PIV or penis in vagina sex, under patriarchy, is effectively rape. This sounds a controversial and extreme position. However, it perhaps appears less so when we consider the evidence.
Most women are educated into the idea that sex with a man = PIV. So sex without Penis in Vagina, is not full sex or not really sex. I, along with many women, was taught that I could choose whether or not to have sex with a man, but if I did, that would involve PIV.
I was taught that sex = PIV, through sex education classes, Hollywood films and the idea of virginity. All 3 present PIV as real sex, and everything else as foreplay or extras.
In addition, we have the existence of compulsory heterosexuality. This phrase describes how all of us are educated, forced or cajoled as children and teenagers into being heterosexual. At the extreme end there is forced marriage and child brides. But even when we think we have chosen heterosexuality, the reality is that our whole upbringing constantly told us as girls that we are heterosexual and that we will have a relationship with a man.
This is done by asking us as young girls if we have a boyfriend in a teasing manner, our mothers giving us advice about boyfriends before we are dating, books and films aimed at children where a girl or woman has a boyfriend, playing at weddings, etc. Girls are constantly told they are heterosexual and that they will have boyfriends.
So as women we have been often been educated or cajoled into being heterosexual. We are taught that we must have a male partner. And when we have, we are told that if we want sex, we must have PIV.
So can women really be said to consent under patriarchy to PIV sex? And if they don’t meaningfully consent, would you call that rape?
He was invited by the "smart kids" to hang out at some kids house whose liberal parents had left for the weekend.
My brother, always a moral and thoughtful individual, wanted to attend because it was one of those massive house parties that he'd never been to.
Well, as was later recalled by some of his friends at the party, he was pressured into reading SICP. He ended up doing the entire set of problem exercises.
Not long after he went into convulsions and started foaming at the mouth. The people at the party held back calling 9/11 for almost 10 minutes.
When the paramedics finally arrived they could do nothing to save him.
The autopsy revealed he had 3 times the lethal dosage of the (eval) in his blood.
But I'm sure everyone here will deny my story and the fact that my brother died after reading that illegal textbook.
"Does master want Suiseiseki to give him a footrub-desu?" she purred. "No thank you," I said. "I'm rather tired. You should retire to your box." "But master-sama, Suiseiseki doesn't like her box-desu! I want to sleep in master-sama's bed-desu!" "Not tonight. You'll do as you're told." "Why doesn't master-sama have real girls in his bed?" "What?!" "Is master-sama's penis too small for real girls?" "Why aren't you saying desu?" "Does he have to use dolls instead?" "SAY DESU! SUISEISEKI FINISHES HER SENTENCES WITH DESU!" "Master-sama showed Suiseiseki his penis once." "DESU! MASTER-SAMA SHOWED SUISEISEKI HIS PENIS ONCE DESU!" "It was too small even for dolls." "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! YOU'RE NOT SUISEISEKI!"
With my right hand I snatched a pair of scissors from my desk and mashed them continually into her face. Her little body was smashed into kindling but I did not stop. Until her screams began to sound a bit like my voice, and I remembered that dolls did not scream, and they did not bleed. Suddenly there was feeling in my left hand for the first time in weeks. I lifted it out of the doll's wreckage, covered in splinters and dripping from scissored wounds. How long had my hand been inside there? How long had I been inside here, alone in my one-room apartment, talking to myself, going mad?
The bolt scraped rust from the latch as I stepped outside. My eyes hurt, god the horizon ... it was a deal larger than 19 inches diagonally. But after five steps my breath quickened and my chest tightened and I turned back. Enough for today. Tomorrow I would try for six. A distant memory told me that when I reached two hundred and eighty, I would make it to the bus stop. And then I'd be free of this apartment, of this prison. And then there'd be nowhere in the world I couldn't go.
Least of all the refunds counter at Moemart in Akihabara. For fuck's sake. Suiseiseki finishes her sentences with desu.
Ubuntu £inux is making America go broke. Ubuntu's philosophy of openness is a lie because they steal your information and sell it to the Amazon and NSA agents who use it to profile you. To what end nobody knows. Microsoft has tried to prevent Ubuntu from creating the first serious monopoly in computing history but anti trust laws have proven noneffective against the Ubuntu juggernaut. It won't be long until the Canonical tax drives the cost of computers through the roof so only the rich can afford one. Did you know that Ubuntu can't run the hit release Aliens: Colonial Marines? This is a serious offense because Ubuntu could kill the video game industry causing millions to lose jobs. All that in the name of communism. Rest assured that Canonical is no hippie paradise: their phones will contain black ops NSA tracking ribbons that can geolocate you without electricity anywhere in the world, the same technology used to track $20 bills. Some speculate the NSA works for Canonical, but there is no proof. But you have to ask the question.
Use SDL and C++. It's dead simple with the tools they have nowadays -- practically anyone can do it! If you can't figure it out by reading a few tutorials, then game design isn't in your blood.
I recommend starting off by downloaded the DirectX SDK, the Windows' SDK, and Microsoft's free Visual Studios Express (but if you have a school email account, you can get VS Pro for free from dreamspark). Next, download SDL and set up the library directories in VS (there are plenty of tutorials on this). Start a blank solution and then add several C++ DLL projects. You'll need one for things like AI, one for your graphics engine, one for the audio engine, one for the physics engine, one for input, one for file interactions (not necessary to be seperate, but good for abstraction), one for interface, one for internet interactions, one for dynamic world generation, etc....
After that, you need to add a plain Win32 project that will link all the there libraries that you just made together. Be sure to put the build order in proper order, or you will have circular dependencies! Microsoft puts handy comments in the code that it generates along the lines of ``Add your code here'' that are pretty hard to miss. This is where you need to add your code.
But before you do that, you need to include a bunch of files from the standard library. For starters, you'll need to be sure that Windows.h is always in your precompiled header file (named Stdafx.h) -- it's a rather long file, so you should just include it there, then include Stdafx.h from everything else. Boost and the standard template library are great ways to minimize the time you waste in tedious function about memory management, so be sure to include those in Stdafx.h and use their functionality at every opportunity as well. Be sure to look for online tutorials if you run into any trouble for this!
The next thing you need to do is to add classes to your projects. For instance, your AI project will need many different classes to manage all the different NPCs. Every NPC will have it's own object (which is a what a class is called when the program is running), which means that every NPC can be unique. You use the Add class tool in VS to add classes to projects. Your AI projects like NPC_Manager, NPC, Enemy, etc.... Within each class you add variables that the class can access. You will add numbers in the classes for things like health and text for things like names. Although you only have one class, each NPC will have it's own little copy of that class, called an object, when running. This subject is a little tricky and you will probably need help from the good people at StackOverflow to debug this.
But enough program for now -- let's talk about graphics! You can either pay several hundred dollars for a copy of PhotoShop, or you can use free programs like GIMP. The problem with GIMP is that, because it is licensed under the GPL, everything made with it is licensed under the GPL as well, which means that the image legally belongs to the GIMP project and you can never sell it. For this reason, I find it best to just buy PhotoShop. You can find plenty online about how to make images with PhotoShop.
For 3D Models, the absolute best program to use for this is Maya. It cost several thousand dollars, but it well worth it. The free alternative, Blender, not only suffers from the same licensing problem as the GIMP, but has a keyboard-only interface, making it hard to use.
It is very difficult to make proper sounds without a large sound studio. For this reason, it is probably just easier to take parts of the sound from other projects and use them. This is called `sampling' and the right to do it is protected by law. You must, however, edit it a little, or it isn't sampling, it's just copying.
I wish you luck on your journey to becoming a game designer!
rika fuurude waited. the lights above her blinked and sparked out of the air. rika was a shrine maiden for years. when she was young she watched the shrinemaidens and she said to dad "I want to be a shrine maiden, daddy". Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY OYASHIROSAMA" There was a time shen she believed him. Then as she got oldered she stopped. But now in the shrine she knew there was oyashirosama. "This is Oyashirosama" the radio crackered. "You must fight fate!" . So rika got all her friends and beat up the yamainu. "SHE GOING TO KILL US" said the yamainu. "I will shoot at her" said Takano and she fired. Oyashirosama stopped the time and tried to blew her up. But then the scene switched and Takano was not able to kill Rika. Takano shouted "No! I must kill the loli!" Rika said "No, Takano. You are the loli" And then Takano was a delicious loli
I'm thinking about going to Gensokyo tomorrow. It's bad enough having multiple mental disorders, but when your own dad tells you that you're too pathetic to enter a mental ward because you will never get a job to make enough money to pay for it (combined with all the other crap I've been dealing with) and is dropping me off at a homeless shelter tomorrow morning, it's pretty much a done deal. I know /jp/ is mostly normalfags pretending to be autists, but I also know there are some legit autists here that might have had similar problems themselves. I was thinking as a last resort, I'd call a suicide hotline right before it, but I'm not so sure if they can help. My biggest concern about going into a mental ward is the sheer cost of it and the quickness that I have to pay for it. I don't mind racking up $20,000 in costs if it helps me, but what's the point if I'm released and just out on the street jobless, like when I got in?
This is /prog/, so I'm not expecting much help (inb4 404 in minutes), but I figured it would be worth a shot. I thought I read something a while back about a form you could fill out that might have the government pay for some of it, but I have no idea what the qualifications are for that.
You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Rege̿̔̉x-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a chi͡ld ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of c͒ͪo͛ͫrrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of regex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes̶,̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶e̶s̶t̶i̶l̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶s̶l̶ithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Visual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he com̡e̶s, ̕h̵is un̨ho͞ly radiańcé destro҉ying all enli̍̈́̂̈́ghtenment, HTML tags lea͠ki̧n͘g fr̶ǫm ̡yo͟ur eye͢s̸ ̛l̕ik͏e liquid pain, the song of re̸gular expression parsing will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see ̲͚̖͔̙î̩́t̲͎̩̱͔́̋̀ it is beautiful the final snuffing of the lies of Man ALL IS LOŚ͖̩͇̗̪̏̈́T ALL IS LOST the pon̷y he comes he c̶̮ome̶s̶ ̶h̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶e̶s̶ the ichor permeates all MY FACE MY FACE ᵒh god no NO NOO̼OO NΘ stop the an*̶͑̾̾̅ͫ͏̙̤g͇̫͛͆̾ͫ̑͆l͖͉̗̩̳̟̍ͫͥͨe̠̅s ͎a̧͈͖r̽̾̈́͒͑e not rè̑ͧ̌aͨl̘̝̙̃ͤ͂̾̆ ZA̡͊͠͝LGΌ ISͮ̂҉̯͈͕̹̘̱ TO͇̹̺ͅƝ̴ȳ̳ TH̘Ë͖́̉ ͠P̯͍̭O̚N̐Y̡ H̸̡̪̯ͨ͊̽̅̾̎Ȩ̬̩̾͛ͪ̈́̀́͘ ̶̧̨̱̹̭̯ͧ̾ͬC̷̙̲̝͖ͭ̏ͥͮ͟Oͮ͏̮̪̝͍M̲̖͊̒ͪͩͬ̚̚͜Ȇ̴̟̟͙̞ͩ͌͝S̨̥̫͎̭ͯ̿̔̀ͅ
I love it when people equate a shitpost on their favorite website as just spam or an annoyance.
A shitposter is like a burglar. You hear of burglars? Yes, of course you have. Because you've been on the internet.
But instead of stealing your shit, he brings shit to your house. Actual shit. You don't want that shit in there. So you COULD try to get rid of the burglar, and the shit he left in your house. OR. You could put some newspaper on it and forget about it.
That is the house equivalent of the gmail equivalent of the "hide button" or "filter" on 4chan. Yes, the shit is still there. It's still sitting on your carpet.
Serious question time and I want you to answer: Do you sperg to Google about how "OMG Y DU PPL CARE IF POOP IS EVRYWER" or do you just shrug and accept it as part of life that shit exists on your floor, shitposters gonna shitpost, and all you can really do is shrug and realize that you don't care enough about your house or life to do anything about it?
The first anime I ever saw was "Revolutionary Girl Utena" the movie. I was attracted to it because it was bizarre and new. It hit me at a vulnerable time; my father and mother had just been murdered. I became obsessed with the "emptiness inside" theme of the movie, and felt that this related to my life somehow. I watched Evangelion next, and absolutely loved the depressing feeling both of these shows left me with. I am a person who loves depressions; I feel that I am at my most creative and "raw" when utterly depressed. The empty feeling these shows gave me filled me with emotions I wanted to recapture.
Like an addict seeking another hit, I kept downloading more and more programs, watching tons of shows. At one point, I had two shoeboxes full of CD-r's packed with Anime programs. I had a library of just about every show ever made. I became obsessive, but I wasn't finding that feeling that was originally there. Sure, I could recapture it with great stuff like Serial Experiments: Lain and Millenium actress, but that was only for a moment.
Eventually, I stopped watching the shows I was downloading, but just grabbed them for the sake of having them. I had to have more. I bought DVD's and didn't watch them. Gradually, over time, I felt my aesthetic become warped. What once was strange and bizarre looking character design became familiar; I sought it out. If I caught a glimpse of an anime style character in real life, I felt a rush; almost as if my hindbrain saw it before I was aware of it. I was visiting a Japanese tea Garden and saw real life schoolgirls in the familiar navy blue fuku uniforms. I was fascinated by them; I was drawn, attracted, but not in a sexual way; it blew my mind to see something in real life that I had before seen only in the abstract.
A familiar feeling came through me when I saw them. I felt the same at that moment as when I had first seen Utena, when I had first finished Evangelion. My obsession took a new direction.
I bought several sailor fuku uniforms from online retailers. J-list was too expensive and didn't sell in the size I desired. I had to have the legitimate stuff. At first it was satisfying to just look at the uniforms. I would keep them clean, iron them, and hang them up every day. The ritual was soothing to me.
Sooner or later I had to do it. I had to wear the uniforms I had treasured. I am proud to report that it took me a few months to break down, to really cross the threshold into utter depravity. After that line had been crossed, though, there was no going back. Tentatively, I started by simply wearing the uniforms around the house. I would wake up very early, before anyone could glimpse at me from outside on the street, and simply do my cleaning and cooking wearing the various uniforms I purchased. I got a matching apron. I would pretend I was getting ready for Japanese High school.
Soon, though, wearing the uniform in private was not enough. I purchased a duster trenchcoat and began walking through town wearing my outfit. Nobody knew, and this made me comfortable. But, again, this soon became insufficient to satisfy my obsession.
I began stalking this girl I knew, Sarah. I checked out her routines; when she left for work, when she got back, what time she went to bed. At first I furtively ventured into her place with my uniform under my trench coat while she was away. I knew where her spare key was because I had helped her move earlier. Speaking of this, I'm a pretty beefy guy. I weigh around 240-260 pounds, but I'm not that tall. A great friend to have if you need to move.
Anyway, gradually, I became more comfortable in her apartment. I started doing stuff like rolling around in her bed, stealing her underwear and putting it in little plastic bags, soforth. As you would expect, I became more and more comfortable doing this, and crossed a line. She came home unexpectedly one day, early from work. Panicked, I hid under the bed in my uniform. Immediately, as she came through the door, she spotted my trench coat. Lying under her bed, the sound of my heavy breathing seemed a thousand times louder than it actually was. I could hear her rooting through the trench coat, and could hear the wrinkling of celophane as she found my empty plastic bags. Thank god they didn't yet have her used underwear in them.
I put my sweaty, meaty hands together and prayed.
I heard her walking around the apartment. Thankfully, she didn't bring anyone with her. My mind was flashing; the excitement had triggered my epilepsy. Suddenly, I was barraged with memories from my first anime program, revolutionary girl utena. I heard her walking around some more, and then sit down on the bed. I saw her clothes come off and hit the floor in front of me. During this time I was controlling myself and having a minor epileptic fit. I could see transformation sequences from anime programs I had watched. It was all coming together; the near hallucinations, the girl in the bed above me, and most of all, my sweaty fuku uniform.
She approached the bathroom and got into the shower. She turned on the water. I was convinced that this was the one moment I had been searching for. This was my chance to cross over into the other world described in Utena; the fabric of reality was thin. I could taste it. In many of my anime programs I had seen the seemingly normal characters, like me, enter into a world of magic and joy.
I rolled out from under the bed and bounded into the bathroom. She saw my large form approaching through the glass of the shower and started screaming. I was having epileptic flashes; the screaming sounded just like "KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" I was having trouble walking, my steps staggered. I couldn't feel the floor. My meaty hands slammed the shower door open, but she sprayed me with a jet of water. The water triggered another fit and I seized, falling into the bath. She tripped and fell on top of me. As she was screaming and my blood filled the bath, it swirled around reality, and intermingled in my mind. Her screams, the blood, my sweat, the uniform, Japan, schoolgirls, magic, tragedy, terror, and hope all become one to me. For one moment, I could taste it. The anime reality. It was here, like a precious jewel perched between my meaty, sweaty pectorals. And then, gone.
My first time anal experience was probably the worst sexual experience of my life. I have had many instances where sex wasn’t very good or that I messed things up by shooting a bit too fast. Everyone has those things happen at times. But that anal thing will haunt my memories for the rest of my life, waking me up from a dead sleep, a pale white ghost of my former self. Now, I won’t get into all the details on just how bad it was, but I will tell you that I will never EVER do anal again after this. Just the thought of it makes me cringe and want to hide myself in a closet somewhere.
First off, the first time anal was with a girl that I knew very well. We have been going out off and on for years and thought we would give it a try sometime. I wish now that we had never agreed to any of it. In fact, I wish I could go back in time and force myself not to even bring it up with her again. I can’t put into words just how horrifying it was to even attempt what we did. But I have moved forward on this subject, now haven’t I?
Anyway, to make a very long and disturbing story a bit shorter, we were sitting around watching some movies at my place when I decided I would ask her if she had done anal before. I was very interested in my first time anal experience and was kind of hoping that she had done it before so she could explain to me what to do to make it feel the best it could feel. She was very interested in what I was asking and got overly excited when I started to mention anal with her. I thought this was a very good reaction so I kept going with it.
Now, I won’t go into great detail here but her idea for my first time anal wasn’t exactly what I had in mind. In fact, if I had known what her idea was before it happened we probably wouldn’t have discussed it any further. Needless to say, my first time will be my last and there is no way in hell I will EVER trust another girl behind me with anything that even resembles a strap on or dildo of any kind and that does include fruit and veggies too!
The black-white pleaded to the rainbow magician; while battling the forceful urge within her, Marisa begged again. With tears in her eyes, her actions were simply ignored by an apathetic Alice; sitting not even five feet away and reading a book, peering out the corner of her eye at the witch's struggle. Her many dolls completely restricting Marisa's movement in her time of desperation.
"You must..." the witch whined, "please, release your dolls! I can't take it much more..."
Alice remained idle and flipped a page in her book. The pressure within the Marisa grew greater with every passing second, a force that she could never prevent merely with knowledge and wit.
"I... beg of you... please..." a mixture of tears and sweat streamed from the witch's face and made its way to the magician's wooden floor.
"I... I..." with her last shred of willpower, Marisa fell to the floor. With her face down, in a shameless admit of defeat, a puddle formed from under her; the liquid passing through the thin fabric and drenched her dress within mere seconds. A smirk appeared on Alice's face as the liquid expanded on her floor and made it's way up Marisa's body; the magician placed her book down and walked passed the witch, stepping in the shallow puddle of Marisa's urine.
"I hate you... you damn bitch." With her head still facing the floor, tears multiplied in the witch's eyes and diffused with liquid she exerted moments ago. Whelps and sobs came from Marisa's mouth along with mumbles of "damn Alice..." and "I'll never forgive you."
The magician walked back into the room and tapped the witch on the shoulder; looking up, she saw Alice's hand reaching out. Knowing she couldn't continue to wallow in her piss, she picked herself up and hung her head as Alice lead her to another room.
In Alice's bedroom with the door shut behind them, the magician began to remove the soiled dress of the witch; however, she was met with a forceful hand.
"What are you doing ze~? I don't need your help," muddled Marisa with the slightest hint of red in her cheek. "I can do this myself. Also, what are those things..." she pointed to her bed. Alice picked up one of the white objects; "those can't be..." the magician nodded.
Marisa signed with a hint of disgust, "You get weirder everyday, doll freak..." A thought occurred. "Hey, wait, why do you even have those things?" Hesitant, Alice lifted her skirt and revealed that she herself was wearing a diaper. Despite the humility that bestowed onto Marisa minutes ago, a smile came to her face. "So it is true, you do lea..."
Alice forcefully grunted and a trio of dolls surrounded the witch. One quickly flew behind Marisa and untied her apron and the other two grabbed the straps of her dress and lifted it over her head; the dolls then flew off with the garments. Before the black-white had a chance to fight it, she stood in Alice's bedroom with nothing but her shirt and soaked bloomers.
Alice, face redden, placed her hand on the witch's shoulders and led her to her bed. Marisa, unsure of what she should do, was forcefully seated on the edge and pushed back by the doll otaku.
Alice excitingly placed her fingers on the witch's waist; as she was about to pull down her bloomers, the magician was met with Marisa's grasp.
"No, ze~. Don't you dare do that." Just then, a group of dolls flew onto Marisa and restrained her arms and legs once again. "Dammit, ze~; let me go!" Alice ignored the demand and pulled down the wet bloomers. Staring at what was now exposed, trickles of blood dripped from the magician's nose.
"You sad, lonely freak." Marisa remarked as it was all she could do. Wiping the drippings of passion from her face, she slid the diaper under Marisa. Sprinkling a blot of powder onto the area, she quickly taped the garment into position before she fainted from blood loss.
Regaining her composure, Alice witnessed what she had accomplished and let out a delightful smile. Flushed with redness, she placed her face next to Marisa's and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Then with a soft giggle, she slowly walked toward the door.
"I'll make some tea and cakes." The dollmaster opened the door and exited the room; her minions release their grasp on the witch and followed.
Marisa sat up, hearing the unfamiliar crinkle as Alice's success, and pondered what the magician really meant to her.
Suddenly, a huge black snake head with retarded-looking eyes materialized in front of them, and in a loud booming hiss, asked "Have you read your SICP today?"
The surroundings faded into blackness and within a few moments the group found themselves seated in a lecture hall at MIT, amongst several dozen other students. "Welcome to 6.001" was written on the blackboard, and Professor Gerald Jay Sussman walked into the room, dressed in his robe and wizard hat.
"Is this a hack?" he asked as he glanced around and saw the witch, the magician, Alice, and Marisa.
"What...?" Marisa managed to say, all of the confused by what had just happened.
"Nevermind, let's start the lecture." The Sussman said softly.
"I'd like to welcome you to this course on computer science. ... Actually, it's a terrible way to start. Computer science is a terrible name for this business. First of all it's not a science." The Sussman lectured while the students sat and listened attentively.
"What's going on?" Alice whispered to Marisa.
"I have no idea. But this is getting interesting."
"Or we'll actually see that computer... so-called science actually has a lot in common with magic." The Sussman continued.
"So procedures are the spells if you like that control these magical spirits that are the processes."
The Sussman produced a wand and waved it in the air, muttering to himself. A bright flash of light filled the room, and a stream of glowing parentheses shot out the end of the wand, dissappearing into the air. The students applauded loudly.
"But... how can he do that? He's only a human, right?" the witch whispered.
The Sussman, who up until now had paid no attention to the group, turned and stared at the witch with an astonished expression.
"What did you just say?" he asked, pointing his wand at the witch.
All of the other students turned in the direction of the group.
"Nothing," she answered quietly.
"I hope so," The Sussman said in stern tone, ending his pointing with the wand.
"And... well I guess you know everyone needs a magical language and sorcerers, right, real sorcerers use ancient Arcadian, or Sumerian, or Babylonian or whatever. We're gonna control our spirits in a magical language called LISP, which is a language designed for talking about... for casting the spells that are procedures to direct the processes," the Sussman continued, waving his wand around as he spoke.
"What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic," Marisa muttered almost inaudibly.
Once again, the Sussman quickly turned and stared at her, pointing with his wand.
"Excuse me?" he asked, "What did you say again?"
"Nothing," she replied, trying to avoid attention.
"No, I'm pretty sure you said something. Please repeat it for us, so as not to miss a fine learning opportunity."
"She said, 'What a disappointment. I thought he was going to teach us magic'," the witch exclaimed. At the sound of those words the Sussman's face turned a bright red.
"HOW DARE YOU DOUBT ME!!" The Sussman shouted angrily. "By the power of the Y combinator I send thee to the land of Java!"
The Sussman raised his wand and a pointed it at the group, sending from its blunt point a stream of red parentheses. Almost immediately Alice sent forth her dolls, which collided with the parentheses at 61.8034% of their way toward her, creating a blindingly bright blue ball of plasma. The other students watched in amazement as the parentheses slowly ate their way through the doll-storm towards Alice.
With the 12 volumes I have on hand and the three volumes there, that's a total of 15 volumes combined. I have no doubt that this is a set of 15 volumes. The shikigami of the outside world are the same as the ones in Gensokyo after all. With computers, F represents 15 and F is the state wherein everything is compounded. It was written that when everything becomes F, the highest value is held.
I think that it's natural for 15 to have power. Even in ancient times, 15 meant perfection in this country. The same reason the full moon is also known as the fifteenth night. Computers must be familiars that have resulted from the ideas of the East and the beauty of the moon.
Marisa asked me what I was thinking about as she lined up the three books.
Through Marisa's nonchalant actions, I realized something else. The numbers on the books, "13", "14", and "15", when lined up, makes 131415. If the 1 in front is removed... it then depicts the number that represents a perfect circle, 3.1415. This also means a full moon. And thus my theory that the familiars of the outside world use the power of the moon becomes truth.
Drug test them, then run a criminal background check. Make sure they don't own any guns so they can't shoot up the place. Give them a polygraph and make sure that they don't plan to steal your intellectual property. Have them examined by a doctor so that your company can save money on insurance (if you offer it, if not, then do it anyway so they don't just keel over and die in the middle of a project). Ask to see their browsing history on a regular basis so that you know they don't go on 4chan\world4ch. Don't hire anyone with a spouse or children, to insure that they can always be ready for overtime. Ask them what they expect to be paid: if it is lower than average then they are not confident and likely incompetent; if they ask for higher than average, then they are arrogant and expect too much. Double check their history to make sure that they don't make sexist or racist jokes. Look on their facebook to find out if they are the antisocial type. Time them on how long it take them to read the employment contract: if it takes too long, then they don't need the work bad enough and will leave soon, messing up the company's plans for them; if they don't take enough time then they are careless and easily fool, meaning they will likely mess up when dealing with customers. If they don't have a bachelor's degree, then instantly reject them. If they don't have a few years experience (even if it's only an intern position), then instantly reject them. If they ever went to a junior college, or an online college, then instantly reject them. If they ever went to any sort of "vocational" program, instantly reject them. If they have any certificates that aren't backed up by real experience, instantly reject them. If they didn't have at least a 3.5 GPA, instantly reject them. Don't hire people with too many jobs on their resume, it shows that they move around too much and can't be trusted. Don't hire people with too few jobs on their resume, it shows that they don't know how to adapt to new corporate cultures. Don't hire programmers over 35, because they have trouble adapting to new technologies. Don't hire anyone under 25, because they are just children and cannot act responsibly or be respected by customers. Don't hire anyone with gaps in their employment history, as it shows that they are lazy and don't need the job, and might quit at any time. Don't hire anyone looking for a job while still employed, as they have shown themselves to be disloyal to their current company. Don't hire anyone who don't seem to be team players, as they will not demand the respect of customers or coworkers. Don't hire anyone who asks about career advancement, as they will neglect the job they were hired for so that they may try to find another. Ask them about their hobbies: if they answer with anything other than things that further their knowledge in programming, then instantly reject them. If they answer with anything odd (strange musics, occult, anime, Touhous, extreme sports), instantly reject them. Ask them how they feel about "open source" software and the GPL. If they are too positive, quietly show them the door, because they might steal your code and give it to an "open source" project. If they are too negative, then quietly show them the door, because it is not their job to think about what is done with the code that they write. Inform them about the NDA's that must be signed. If they take too long to formulate an answer, then they are flaky, if they don't take long enough to think about it, then they aren't taking it seriously. Inform them of the non-compete agreements and the fact that you will own any code they write for six months after employment and that they write on their personal time. If they show any resentment to this industry standard practice, reject them immediately. Run a credit check on them: if they don't have very much debt, then they will be less pressured to perform well at work; if they have too much, then they are vulnerable for bribery and other corporate espionage. Reject anyone who has a history of military service, as they are more prone to violence and intimidation, and might have mental health issues that will cause poor performance and drag the company down. Reject anyone who has been a law enforcement officer, because they will tend to misunderstand things and interpret things as illegal. Reject anyone who has a history in education, as they tend to patronizing and make their coworkers uncomfortable. Reject anyone who has citizenship in your country, because those people are more likely to be able to leave for higher wages. Reject anyone who is a minority, as they could sue the company for harassment and discrimination. Reject anyone who isn't a minority, because they lack sensitivity and could offend one of their coworkers and put the company in a compromising position.
Mother and father got a little tired from seizing Palestine from the Arabs, so they want to go to Tel Aviv to buy some kosher vodka for Purim. They call their most trusted Arab babysitter. When the Arab babysitter arrives, children already run around house yelling. Arab babysitter just sits around and make sure everything usual with children. Later that night, Arab babysitter gets bored and goes to read Talmud, but she can’t read it downstairs because she is illiterate (the parents didn’t want the dirty Arab bitch to know their jew secrets). So, she calls them and asks if she can get noisy jew children to read Talmud by themselves in their room so they will be quiet. Of course, the parents say it’s okay, but the Arab babysitter has one final request… she asked if she could cover up the gold outside the bedroom window with a blanket or cloth, because it maeks her nervous. The phone line is silent for a moment, and the father who says, "Take the children and get out of the house… we will call Israeli army. We do not have a gold."(of course he lied) The Israeli army found all three of the house occupants dead because Mossad killed them for looking to have jew gold. And Israeli army shot parents on sight for financing Arab terrorist. Such is life in Haifa.
Even your text when viewed as a block looks stupid. I can just imagine the stupid as a bubbling black molasses oozing through the little crevices that the spaces form, right down to the reply box where I write my stupid post to inform you on how stupid you are. I don't even need to read what you wrote, beyond the words that my brain automatically picks up while moving my eyes from your name to the post form. It's stupid. You're stupid. Pure, unadulterated stupid. Infecting everything it touches.
I read this book in 10 sittings. In all honesty, it took me that long to understand material that came in chapter 3 and later. And I'm no novice. I've been programming for 10 years now, having done everything from compilers to database systems. I have never seen a worse book in my life. It is as if the authors are not trying to teach anything but are merely writing for glory and self gratification. I got the book in February based on some good comments on this page, and now I see that those people either had learning support in school, or they simply skimmed it and now have an illusion of having learned something profound. I certainly don't think the ideas here are of any practical value, and if they are (very few in this book) they have been known to all for a long time now. The first two chapters are a waste of space, and the rest are a waste of everyone's time. It is obvious this book was written to fill some dubious requirement at MIT and now other copycat colleges use it as well. I just feel sorry for the students who have to go through it all. At least I was able to return the book at will, having learned absolutely nothing.
When the singularity happens (still waiting, Kurzweil and Kaku), I'm going simulate my own private universe where I am a cute little witch and wear cute Touhou dresses, but everyone else is normal. I'll give them hope, then crush their dreams right in front of them, keeping them in perpetual misery. I'll curse them with ambitions, but make those ambitions impossible to fulfill. I'll give them a good life, then smash them right in the middle, just to give them a taste of the happiness that they never have. I'll delude them into thinking that they are free, then reveal to them that they are only my slaves. I'll torture and kill them, just to resurrect them and do it again, until their mind is completely broken and there is no shreds of a human left in them, then discard them and move on to the next victim. I'll make Hell, and condemn those who resent my evil ways to eternal agony. I'll teach them concepts of justice just sneer in their faces as they try to reconcile my words with my actions. I'll reward those who emulate me with riches and power, and punish those who don't with starvation, sickness, and the death of those around them. I'll make them toil for their entire lives to build monuments to my vanity. I'll give them brief reprieves of love and contentment, then kill off everything they loved and leave them wondering what they did wrong.
This will be a very fun and very intellectual game -- I am very much looking forward to it.
After a few hours I've only gotten to >>135. This is going to take a while.
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Anonymous2015-06-16 15:38
What is this SJW thing about?
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Anonymous2015-06-16 15:46
Ruby - Sailor Jupiter. A tall tomboy who a bit clumsy. She is actually quite girly, but is embarrassed to admit this to anyone. Her dreams include being a good wife one day, but she is socially awkward and has had her heart broken before, so she is hesitant about romance again.
Girls should be married when they're children. Thus no hearts would be broken.
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Anonymous2015-06-16 15:50
LISP - Sailor Mercury. The intellectual of the group. She is smart and shy, and though everyone who knows her loves her, she has trouble making new friends. She can perform math that completely bypasses logic and can throw out a line of completely unintelligible nonsense to prove that she is right. She didn't have any offensive attacks for a long time, so her popularity suffered as she was deemed useless. This soon changed and she was given powers on par with the rest of the sailors, but some people never forgave her.
Cute.
Perl - Sailor Saturn. She is a frail girl, the daughter of a mad scientist who sold his soul to the devil for a chance to have a loli of his own. Because she is inhabited by the devil, two lesbians want to kill her, but Sailor Moon saves her and tells them to fuck off. Her powers are limited to either being useless or destroying an entire planet, killing herself in the process. She is good friends with Chibiusa.
>>32 I think you'll get your ass sued. This time by both feminists and creationists, who believe God needs more kids.
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Anonymous2015-06-16 23:04
Do you think Rozen ever fucked Shinku?
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Anonymous2015-06-17 0:00
Why admin got so mad at some Georgian Jew (Mikhail Kvaratskhelia is a Jewish name) making a game with Quake engine? I guess admin is Russian, because Russians hate Jews and Georgians (even had a war with them in 2008).
Nope! I'm a fellow user, just like you--I'm just pointing and laughing at the guy who thinks quality of ``contribution'' dictates value as a poster while proceeding to post garbage like that as a shining example of ``contribution''. Keep up the psychotic free-association though, we love it here on /r/programming!
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Anonymous2015-06-17 2:07
>>196 Everything is a garbage, compared to good old NES games.
Why admin got so mad at some Georgian Jew (Mikhail Kvaratskhelia is a Jewish name) making a game with Quake engine? I guess admin is Russian, because Russians hate Jews and Georgians (even had a war with them in 2008).
Admin is faggot.
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Anonymous2015-06-17 3:44
>>195,199 >>1-chan, don't try to recover from this. Your thread, which no one liked, has been ruined with a kopipe flood and shitposting, and everyone knows that it was you keeping it bumped in the first place. Trying to launch a campaign against the administration because no one likes you hardly ever works on /prog/ nearly as well as it does on /g/ and Reddit.