Why is the Java GC so garbage?

It is 2016, why does Java still shit itself like a baby if you try to serve a non-toy amount of traffic with it without tuning your garbage collector settings yourself like some sort of caveman?

Is it so hard to set defaults that don't randomly freeze like a deer caught in the headlights at the sight of multiple qps?

>>12
Don't bother with the heap, stack memory is faster.

>>13
Java puts class objects on the heap, and primitives and references on the stack. You can put primitives on the heap using boxing, though you can't easily put objects on the stack.

>>32

A variable...by definition...cannot vary.