Why is the Java GC so garbage?

It is 2016, why does Java still shit itself like a baby if you try to serve a non-toy amount of traffic with it without tuning your garbage collector settings yourself like some sort of caveman?

Is it so hard to set defaults that don't randomly freeze like a deer caught in the headlights at the sight of multiple qps?

>>39
Yes, a variable, by definition, cannot vary. When you write an equation like x - 1 = ln x, it will only have meaning if the second x is exactly the same as the first x.
In fact, imperative languages have variables too - the function arguments. The imperativists' error is that the other things they call variables - like local or global assignables - are not variables at all because they are mutable and a variable is immutable. Like, by definition.