/prog/ - so I was shaving my asscrack hair when I got a cut

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 9:46

an open wound basically and then about an hour later I had to take a shit and the poo contaminated the open wound

does anyone have a program that can fix this

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 9:52

calculate md5 checksum of your ass. if it changed delete ass and restore from backup.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:29

>>2
This isn't how it works.
OP committed before shaving of the ass hopefully, therefore they should roll back from version control.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:31

>>3
if OP really wanted to be safe, he'd put copies of ass on magnetic tapes and store them offsite

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:40

Go to the grocery store and buy some cheap pork. It contains antibiotics so they can raise the pig in half a meter of pig shit. Rub the pork all over the wound to transfer the antibiotics into your ass.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 11:12

>>5
pork? no thank you, I write Lisp

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 11:13

>>6
then your ass should be immutable

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 11:23

>>7
HAXset! MY ANUS

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 9:17

What programming language is this?

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 13:55

>>9
Haskell

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 6:45

>>10
ass contamination is clearly a side-effect and Haskell doesn't have those

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 9:43

>>11
It's just a Kleisli arrow: `contaminate :: Ass -> IO Ass'

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:03

>>12
contaminate :: Ass -> O Ass, fixed that for you and please stop with your homosexual propaganda.

Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:45

>>12
but he was only using a Shave(Ass a) => a -> Ass function, contamination was a side effect

so I was shaving my asscrack hair when I got a cut

1 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 9:46

2 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 9:52

3 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:29

4 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:31

5 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 10:40

6 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 11:12

7 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 11:13

8 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-17 11:23

9 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 9:17

10 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-18 13:55

11 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 6:45

12 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 9:43

13 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:03

14 Name: Anonymous 2016-05-19 10:45