hax my anus!!!!!

I like to troll tinychan's /prog/ramming board by posting useless code. One of my favorites is a program called "HMA.py" that simply outputs "HAX MY ANUS!!!!" (One of the lesser known internet memes) no matter what. Instead of using the simpler print "HAX MY ANUS!!!" command I use random integers and if and else statements to create a useless program.

So here is hax my anus in various languages.

Code: Python

#!/usr/bin/python
from random import randint
anus = randint(1, 1000)

if (anus < 500):
print "HAX MY ANUS!!"
else:
print "HAX MY ANUS!!"


Code: PHP

<?php
$hax = rand(1, 1000);
if ($hax < 500) {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!";
} else {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!";
};


Code: LUA

#!/bin/lua
hax = math.random(1,1000);
if hax < 500 then
print("HAX MY ANUS!");
else
print("HAX MY ANUS!");
end


Code: CGI/Perl

#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
use warnings;
my $range = 1000;
my $PINGAS = rand($range);
if ($PINGAS < 500) {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!!!!";
} else {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!!!!";
};

HAX MY ANUS!!!!!!!!!!!

>>11
This better dubsman?
```
class HaxMyAnus {
private static class Anus
{
private String whomst;

public Anus(String whomst)
{
this.whomst = whomst;
}

public String getWhomst() {
return this.whomst;
}

public void setWhomst(String whomst) {
this.whomst = whomst;
}
}

private static class AnusHaxer
{
private int ferocity;
public AnusHaxer(int ferocity)
{
this.ferocity = ferocity;
}

public void hax(Anus theAnus)
{
if (this.ferocity <= 0)
{
this.ferocity = 1;
}
else
{
this.ferocity = this.ferocity;
}

String haxPower = "";
for (int theIndex = 0; theIndex < ferocity; theIndex++)
{
haxPower = haxPower + "!";
}

System.out.println("Hax " + theAnus.getWhomst() + " anus" + haxPower);
}
}

private static enum RandomNumberType
{
RandomInteger,
}

private static class RandomNumberFactory
{
public static RandomGenerator create(RandomNumberType theType)
{
if (theType == RandomNumberType.RandomInteger)
{
return new RandomIntegerGenerator();
}
else
{
return null;
}
}
}

private static abstract class RandomGenerator
{
public abstract void seed(int theSeed);
}

private static class RandomIntegerGenerator extends RandomGenerator
{
public RandomIntegerGenerator()
{

}

public void seed(int theSeed)
{
// TOOD
}

public int generateRandomInteger()
{
return (int)Math.random() * 10000;
}
}

private static interface NumberRangeLimiter
{

}

private static class IntegerRangeLimiter implements NumberRangeLimiter
{
private int start;
private int end;
public IntegerRangeLimiter(int theStart, int theEnd)
{
this.start = theStart;
this.end = theEnd;
}

public int limitIntegerRange(int theInt)
{
return start + theInt % (end - start);
}

}

public static void main(String args[])
{
AnusHaxer theAnusHaxer = new AnusHaxer(2);
Anus myAnus = new Anus("my");


// we want the true random number
int theRandomInteger;
int theHax;
int theIndex = 0;
int theStopIndex = 10000;
boolean done = false;
while (!done) {
RandomNumberFactory theRandomNumberFactory = new RandomNumberFactory();
RandomIntegerGenerator theRandomIntegerGenerator = (RandomIntegerGenerator)RandomNumberFactory.create(RandomNumberType.RandomInteger);
theRandomIntegerGenerator.seed(0);

theRandomInteger = theRandomIntegerGenerator.generateRandomInteger();

IntegerRangeLimiter theIntegerRangeLimiter = new IntegerRangeLimiter(1, 1000);
theHax = theIntegerRangeLimiter.limitIntegerRange(theRandomInteger);
if (theIndex == theStopIndex)
{
done = true;
}
else
{
theIndex = theIndex + 1;
}
}

// fix for the variable not be initialized
// thanks David
theHax = 400;
if (theHax < 500)
{
theAnusHaxer.hax(myAnus);
}
else
{
theAnusHaxer.hax(myAnus);
}
}
}
```

>>14
I thought I could add an extra amount of ENTERPRISE by fail markdown quoting instead of code tags but I forgot that strips whitespace. What a shame.