hax my anus!!!!!

I like to troll tinychan's /prog/ramming board by posting useless code. One of my favorites is a program called "HMA.py" that simply outputs "HAX MY ANUS!!!!" (One of the lesser known internet memes) no matter what. Instead of using the simpler print "HAX MY ANUS!!!" command I use random integers and if and else statements to create a useless program.

So here is hax my anus in various languages.

Code: Python

#!/usr/bin/python
from random import randint
anus = randint(1, 1000)

if (anus < 500):
print "HAX MY ANUS!!"
else:
print "HAX MY ANUS!!"


Code: PHP

<?php
$hax = rand(1, 1000);
if ($hax < 500) {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!";
} else {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!";
};


Code: LUA

#!/bin/lua
hax = math.random(1,1000);
if hax < 500 then
print("HAX MY ANUS!");
else
print("HAX MY ANUS!");
end


Code: CGI/Perl

#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
use warnings;
my $range = 1000;
my $PINGAS = rand($range);
if ($PINGAS < 500) {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!!!!";
} else {
print "HAX MY ANUS!!!!!";
};

HAX MY ANUS!!!!!!!!!!!

REQUIRE random.fs

: HMA ( -- )
1000 RANDOM
500 < IF
." HAX MY ANUS!"
ELSE
." HAX MY ANUS!"
THEN ;

Concatenative languages such as Forth force you to anally deform your brain into the shape of a stack. Besides that, they don't offer any advantages. Having formal parameters in functions is a big win, and concatenative languages lose because of that.

----This post was generated automatically. Do not edit!----

HAX MY ANUS!

The CGI/Perl one isn't CGI.

>>5
And how would you know that?

>>6
Because I've read RFC 3875.

>>6
because there's no use CGI;

>>7

RFC 3875.

that's just a mostly empty document with only ``YHBT'' in it, nice try

#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <time.h>

int main(void) {
srand(time(NULL));
int hax = 1 + rand() % 999;
if (hax < 500)
puts("HAX MY ANUS!!");
else
puts("HAX MY ANUS!!");

return 0;
}


#include <iostream>
#include <random>
namespace std {
const char *hax_my_anus = "HAX MY ANUS!!";
}

int main(void) {
std::default_random_engine generator;
std::uniform_int_distribution<int> distribution(1, 1000);

int hax = distribution(generator);
if (hax < 500)
std::cout << std::hax_my_anus << std::endl;
else
std::cout << std::hax_my_anus << std::endl;

return 0;
}



extern crate rand;
use rand::Rng;

fn main() {
let anus: i32 = rand::thread_rng().gen_range(1, 1000);
if anus < 500 {
println!("HAX MY ANUS!!")
} else {
println!("HAX MY ANUS!!")
}
}

>>10
Not enterprise enough

import System.Random
import Data.Bool

main = randomRIO (1,1000 :: Int) >>= putStrLn . bool "HAX MY ANUS!!" "HAX MY ANUS!!" . (< 500)

>>7
RFC 1855 is more important for this place to read first before anything else.

>>11
This better dubsman?
```
class HaxMyAnus {
private static class Anus
{
private String whomst;

public Anus(String whomst)
{
this.whomst = whomst;
}

public String getWhomst() {
return this.whomst;
}

public void setWhomst(String whomst) {
this.whomst = whomst;
}
}

private static class AnusHaxer
{
private int ferocity;
public AnusHaxer(int ferocity)
{
this.ferocity = ferocity;
}

public void hax(Anus theAnus)
{
if (this.ferocity <= 0)
{
this.ferocity = 1;
}
else
{
this.ferocity = this.ferocity;
}

String haxPower = "";
for (int theIndex = 0; theIndex < ferocity; theIndex++)
{
haxPower = haxPower + "!";
}

System.out.println("Hax " + theAnus.getWhomst() + " anus" + haxPower);
}
}

private static enum RandomNumberType
{
RandomInteger,
}

private static class RandomNumberFactory
{
public static RandomGenerator create(RandomNumberType theType)
{
if (theType == RandomNumberType.RandomInteger)
{
return new RandomIntegerGenerator();
}
else
{
return null;
}
}
}

private static abstract class RandomGenerator
{
public abstract void seed(int theSeed);
}

private static class RandomIntegerGenerator extends RandomGenerator
{
public RandomIntegerGenerator()
{

}

public void seed(int theSeed)
{
// TOOD
}

public int generateRandomInteger()
{
return (int)Math.random() * 10000;
}
}

private static interface NumberRangeLimiter
{

}

private static class IntegerRangeLimiter implements NumberRangeLimiter
{
private int start;
private int end;
public IntegerRangeLimiter(int theStart, int theEnd)
{
this.start = theStart;
this.end = theEnd;
}

public int limitIntegerRange(int theInt)
{
return start + theInt % (end - start);
}

}

public static void main(String args[])
{
AnusHaxer theAnusHaxer = new AnusHaxer(2);
Anus myAnus = new Anus("my");


// we want the true random number
int theRandomInteger;
int theHax;
int theIndex = 0;
int theStopIndex = 10000;
boolean done = false;
while (!done) {
RandomNumberFactory theRandomNumberFactory = new RandomNumberFactory();
RandomIntegerGenerator theRandomIntegerGenerator = (RandomIntegerGenerator)RandomNumberFactory.create(RandomNumberType.RandomInteger);
theRandomIntegerGenerator.seed(0);

theRandomInteger = theRandomIntegerGenerator.generateRandomInteger();

IntegerRangeLimiter theIntegerRangeLimiter = new IntegerRangeLimiter(1, 1000);
theHax = theIntegerRangeLimiter.limitIntegerRange(theRandomInteger);
if (theIndex == theStopIndex)
{
done = true;
}
else
{
theIndex = theIndex + 1;
}
}

// fix for the variable not be initialized
// thanks David
theHax = 400;
if (theHax < 500)
{
theAnusHaxer.hax(myAnus);
}
else
{
theAnusHaxer.hax(myAnus);
}
}
}
```

>>14
I thought I could add an extra amount of ENTERPRISE by fail markdown quoting instead of code tags but I forgot that strips whitespace. What a shame.

>>15
Just edit your post.

>>16
how i edit poast

>>14-15
now it looks like you come from the FrozenAnus School Of Indentation

your probably from reddit

>>20
your are're probably from /g/

>>21
youre're are're probably from goatfinger

>>22
actualy I'me'am'my from /prog/rider. nice dubs though

>>22
Yes I am from goatfinger and I'm going back there because, guess what, we have actual programming discussion instead of the endless stream of shit that can be found here.

-> http://goatfinger.ga/

>>24
nice try, goatfinger-admin-kunt!

Fuck this board, nuke it already.

>>26
nuke my anus

Needs more languages.

>>28
This.

>>28-29
then write it you fucking stupid lazy bydlos

good poast
BAMPV PANTSV

good dubs <---- me

#!/usr/bin/env perl6
my $anus = (1..1000).rand();
if $anus < 500 {
"HAX MY ANUS".say
} else {
"HAX MY ANUS".say
}

>>33
What's the point?

>>34
HAX MY ANUS

cudder tier

section.data
msg db "HAX MY ANUS", 0xA, 0xD

section.text
global _start

_start:
rdtsc ;prng lmao
xor edx, eax

cmp edx, 0x3FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
jne hma2

hma1:
mov eax,4
mov ebx,1
mov ecx,msg
mov edx,13
int 0x80
jmp end

hma2:
mov eax,4
mov ebx,1
mov ecx,msg
mov edx,13
int 0x80

end:
mov eax,1
int 0x80

>36
shit I just realized that should be a jle not jne.

>>36

0xD

xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD epin lulz epin win

Cudder tier my ass that’s some disgusting asm you savage

Code it in perl6 so you can supply some hax to my anii

>>39
>implying Cudder's ass isn't disgusting tier

>>41
BLOAT CUDDER'S ANUS

Bump

DUBS MY ANUS

Hell