/prog/ - goto, uh, finds a way

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 9:45

so I've been reviewing some ENTERPRISE-quality Java code and I noticed something ancient, something that came from a different world - the world of assembly, of FORTRAN, of embedded C. it's the dreaded goto which would make DickStar shit himself in fear.

b-but Java doesn't have goto

you'd say, ignorantly. and you'll be wrong. language abstractions, just like society and morality, are merely human constructs. you can't chain the true nature of programming with them as behind the curtain, it's goto all the way down. this time, the terrible power of goto was freed with help of the forbidden techniques previously used only by the disciples of C pre-processor and their terrible leader, FrozenAnus. BEHOLD:

do{
  int haxation = this.hax(myAnus);
  if(haxation > EnterpriseConstants.HAX_MAX) break;
  this.haxMoreAnuses();
}while(false);
this.stopHaxing();;

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 9:52

do{}while(0); makes Java the ,,acceptable C``

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 11:47

>>1

b-but Java doesn't have goto

Who are you quoting? Aside from that, very nice. More of this, please.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 11:48

>>3

Who are you quoting?

The audience.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 12:23

>>3
see >>1

b-but Java doesn't have goto
you'd say, ignorantly

clearly, it's a hypothetical unspecified listener: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_you

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 12:31

funny thing is that this isn't even necessary:

public class WhoAreYouQuoting
{
  public static void main(String[] args)
  {
    boolean tsk = false;
    nigger: {
      if(!tsk) break nigger;
      System.out.print("Don't ");
    }
    System.out.println("HAX MY ANUS!");
  }
}

will output "HAX MY ANUS!"

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 12:45

>>4
I didn't know /prog/ held theatrical productions. I'll be sure to give my thanks to the director.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 13:06

>>7
you're welcome!

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 13:08

>>7
/prog/ also does musical theatre. the ass-sniffing thread is a call-and-response song

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 10:28

there's figuratively nothing wrong with using goto

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 10:30

>>10
my dubs agree with you. goto has its uses, and the problem is not with the statement itself but with its misuse. you can write unreadable code in structured languages too

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 15:23

goto doesn't find a way. It just jumps to the fucking label, dig. just like break and continue

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 17:13

>>12
break label; is also useful

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-08 7:39

port comefrom to Java

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-12 3:27

>>14
It doesn't have goto in the first place

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-12 7:06

>>15
it has a limited form of one, as shown in this thread

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-12 22:25

>>14
port comeinside to my anus

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 0:44

>>16
I'm not convinced.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 1:26

goto is fine. Just don't use it shitty. Basically the same rules as every other programming language feature.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 3:40

the ENTERPRISE pleasure of being comefrom inside.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 3:54

>>16
I looked, and I don't see how that's goto.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 7:41

>>21
then what is it? besides my dubs?

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 15:31

>>22

besides my dubs

Back to 4chan, please.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 20:24

while (true) {
	switch (shit){
		case "something":
			/*  */
			break;

		case "somethingelse":
			/*  */
			break;

		case "anus":
			shit = "something";
			continue;
			break;

	}
	break;
}

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-14 7:44

>>23
dubs theory (like dubsless primes theorem) and dubs practice (like dub checking) are ancient /prague/ tradition, /g/ro

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-14 18:05

>>23
welcome to

, enjoy your stay

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-19 17:22

>>25
They are not. Fuck all the way off.

Name: Anonymous 2017-12-20 8:28

>>27
/polecat kebags/ already

goto, uh, finds a way

1 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 9:45

2 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 9:52

3 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 11:47

4 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 11:48

5 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 12:23

6 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 12:31

7 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 12:45

8 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 13:06

9 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-06 13:08

10 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 10:28

11 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 10:30

12 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 15:23

13 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-07 17:13

14 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-08 7:39

15 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-12 3:27

16 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-12 7:06

17 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-12 22:25

18 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 0:44

19 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 1:26

20 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 3:40

21 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 3:54

22 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 7:41

23 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 15:31

24 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-13 20:24

25 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-14 7:44

26 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-14 18:05

27 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-19 17:22

28 Name: Anonymous 2017-12-20 8:28