>>4Your mom is so fat, she's on both sides of the family. Your mom is so fat, when she falls out of bed she falls on both sides. Your mom is so fat, her will states that she wants to be donated to Ripley's Believe It or Not. Your mom is so fat, you need a Thomas Guide to find her asshole. Your mom is so fat, when she walked past the television, I missed Scary Movie 1, 2 AND 3. Your mom is so fat, she got stuck in the garage. Your mom is so fat, when she was a kid she could only play seek. Your mom is so fat, it took five UFOs to abduct her. Your mom is so fat, we're in her right now. Your mom is so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone. Your mom is so fat, when you get on top of her your ears pop. Your mom is so fat, when she has sex she has to give directions. Your mom is so fat, she wakes up in sections. Your mom is so fat, when she goes to an amusement park people try to ride HER. Your mom is so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phone book. Your mom is so fat, that her senior pictures had to be arial views. Your mom is so fat, she has to buy two airline tickets. Your mom is so fat, when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again. Your mom is so fat, the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures. Your mom is so fat, they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it. Your mom is so fat, that when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks. Your mom is so fat, the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts. Your mom is so fat, she was Miss Arizona...class Battleship. Your mom is so fat, she was zoned for commercial development. Your mom is so fat, her nickname is "DAAAMN!" Your mom is so fat, she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors. Your mom is so fat, she fell in love and broke it. Your mom is so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo. Your mom is so fat, she ordered a double room for a singles weekend. Your mom is so fat, she had her ears pierced by harpoon. Your mom is so fat, that I really don't need to make a joke, it sells it self. Your mom is so fat, she makes Shay look like the Olsen Twins. Your mom is so fat, that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips. Your mom is so fat, the only armor she can use in World of Warcraft is of the whale. Your mom is so fat, NASA is planning a mission to put a man on her. Your mom is so fat, miners dig for diamonds in her footprints. Your mom is so fat, she has to live on another planet. Your mom is so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh-eating variant of Staphlococcus aureus, the doctor gave her five years to live. Your mom is so fat, no one can talk behind her back. Your mom is so fat, when she went to a dating service, they matched her up with Detroit. Your mom is so fat, when she went to a concert, she had to buy 1 million tickets just to fit her ass. Your mom is so fat, you can swim in her belly button. Your mom is so fat, she absorbs light. Your mom is so fat, she has to play pool with the planets. Your mom is so fat, she sat on a rainbow and king sized skittles popped out. Your mom is so fat, your dad didn't know which roll he was making love to. Your mom is so fat, she thought the Olympic swimming pool was a puddle. Your mom is so fat, every move that she makes required planning permission. Your mom is so fat, when she showers, her feet dont get wet Your mom is so fat, she broke a branch on her family tree Your mom is so fat, in order to have sex wit her you have to roll her on flour and find the wet spot. Your mom is so fat, when she walks down the street, people mistake her fat clapping for thunder. Your mom is so fat, she sat down one time and crushed Detroit. Your mom is so fat, the last time she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon. Your mom is so fat, that she has her own diabetic pole at the Strip Club which she works. Your mom is so fat, I had sex with her just to be able to say that I did. Your mom is so old that I told her to act her age and the bitch died. Your mom is so old that she farts dust. Your mom is so old that the milk in her tits is expired. Your mom is so old that Moses is in her yearbook. Your mom is so old that she owes Jesus a quarter. Your mom is so old that she only has two teeth and they're both in her pocket! Your mom is so old that she has an autographed version of the Bible. Your mom is so old that when she was born the Dead Sea was just getting sick. Your mom is so old that she reminisces when she reads the Bible. Your mom is so old that she went to the Virgin Mary's baby shower. Your mom is so old that she knew Burger King when he was a Prince. Your mom is so old that when God said "let there be light", she was there to flip the switch. Your mom is so old that her Bible is signed by Jesus. Your mom is so old that her breast milk is powder. Your mom is so ugly SHE LOOKS LIKE YOU. Your mom is so ugly that she tried to enter an ugly contest and they said "Sorry, no professionals." Your mom is so ugly that she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application. Your mom is so ugly that her teeth are brown and she spits Yoo-hoo. Your mom is so ugly that when she's on the beach the tide won't come in! Your mom is so ugly that I went to your house, kicked in the door and your mom came out barking. Your mom is so ugly that when she got arrested they took her to the SPCA. Your mom is so ugly that she popped her head out the window and got arrested for indecent exposure. Your mom is so ugly that she makes blind kids cry. Your mom is so ugly that the government moved Halloween to her birthday. Your mom is so ugly that when two guys broke into her apartment, she yelled "Rape" and they yelled "NO!" Your mom is so ugly that they filmed 'Gorillas in the mist' in her shower. Your mom is so ugly that when you went to a fancy restaraunt, she had to sit outside. Your mom is so ugly, she can't compete to your sister. Your mom is so ugly, she needs TWO paper bags to cover her face. Your mom is so hairy, that when you were born you got rug burn. Your mom is so hairy, they took her to the museum and put her on display as the woolly mammoth. Your mom is so hairy, she went to a Star Wars convention and the nerds kept asking her for Chewy's autograph. Your mom is so hairy, when she shaved her ass, she lost ten pounds! Your mom is so hairy, her nipples have afros. Your mom is so hairy, before Halloween, everyone thought she was Cousin Itt. Your mom is so hairy, she makes the wolf man look like a puppy. Your mom is so hairy, she has to brush her armpit hair. Your mom is so hairy, she tucks her pubes in her socks. Your mom is so hairy, it took them three years just to shave off enough hair to see her face. Your mom is so poor that I rang your doorbell and she shouted "DING-DONG!" Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention. Your mom is so poor that at her funeral, she had to give up her casket in order to pay. Your mom is so poor that when she wants a gumball she has to put it on layaway. Your mom is so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk Your mom is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said "Moving". Your mom is so poor when she heard about the Last Supper, she thought she was running out of food stamps. Your mom is so poor she walks down the highway with only one shoe. And when people ask her "have you lost a shoe?" she says "no, I found one." Your mom is like a 747, she has a four man cockpit. Your mom is like a brick, she's dirty, flat on both sides and always get laid by mexicans. Your mom is like a 2 by 4, flat, smooth, and easy to nail. Your mom is like a fire hydrant, on every corner. Your mom is like a shotgun, two cocks: and she's ready to blow. Your mom is like a screwdriver, everyone gets a turn. Your mom is like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn. Your mom is like a lamp, everyone gets a turn. Your mom is like a bowling ball, she gets fingered and fucked down an alley 20 times a night, for 5 dollars an hour Your mom is like a bowling ball, She gets picked up, fingered, thrown into the gutter, and you know what? She just keeps coming back for more. Your mom is like a gas station, pump first then pay. Your mom is like Burger King, "Your way right away." Your mom is like Timex, "Takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’" Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of indians. Your mom is like McDonald's, "Serving Millions." Your mom is like Domino's, "Hot, Wild, Now." Your mom is like Home Depot, 50 cents a screw Your mom is like a refrigerator, every guy loves to stick their meat in her Your mom is like Pizza Hut, if it's not there in 30 Minutes, it's free Your mom is like a rail road, laid all over the country. Your mom is like an SUV, big, black, and full of Mexicans. Your Mom is like a Nascar Driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day Your mom is like a door; I banged her all night. Your mom is like a police station, dicks go in and out of her day and night. Your mom is like good paint, cheap and easy to spread. Your mom is like Chinese food, every one gets a chance to eat her out. Your mom is like a toilet, fat, white and smells like shit. Your mom is like a bike, everyone can ride. Your mom is like a fast food restaurant, in n' out, fast and easy. Your mom is like a seniors bus, older guys get on and off her all day. Your mom is like a library open to the public. Your mom is like a christmas tree, people always hang balls on her. Your mom is like Marxism, everyone gets a share. Your mom is like a towel, I use her, get her wet, and leave her on the floor feeling dirty and used. Your mom is like a hardware store, 5 cents a bolt, 10 cents a screw. Your mom is like the Eagles Theater, 75 cents on Thursdays. Your mom is like Taco Bell, "79, 89, 99" cents. Your mom is like 7-Eleven, she's always full of Indians, open 24 hours a day, and will give me a Slurpee for a dollar. Your mom is like a park, people pay to put erections on her. Your mom is like a hotdog vendor, trades money for weiners. Your mom is like a clown's outfit, baggy and has giant holes. Your mom is like a men's locker room, guys come in, put their shit in various holes and walk out. Your mom is like a roast oven, people like to stick their meat in her. Your mom is like a subway ride, where 30 cents is enough for have sex for 3 hours with her. Your mom is like a butcher's refrigerator, people like to stick their meat in her. Your mom is so goth that she makes Happy Meals cry. Your mom is so goth that when she had a sore throat, everyone thought she was a mime. Your mom is so goth that she shits bats. Your mom is so goth that when she walks outside, the sun hides behind the moon. Your mom is so goth that she sleeps in a coffin. Your mom is so goth that the only game she plays is Vampire. Your mom is so goth that when she went through a hip hop phase she became Wesley Snipes. Your mom is so goth she doesn't even talk Your mom is so goth she makes niggers look like they got dipped in Grammy's ol' tyme cum batter. Your mom is so goth she makes Dracula look like a fucking princess. Your mom is so goth that Van Helsing thought she was a vampire and shot her. Your mom is so goth she painted her eyelids so black, now she's blind. Who the fuck has a goth for a mother? You.