Attn Dear To whom it may concern -- All I want from you is: * Your classic against-the-grain always slowly increasing Beauty; * Letting me sing to you "Don't praise my charm too much"; * The intense life-affirming Emotions that you make me feel; * Letting me sing to you "Don't look so vain with me"; * The daily parade of your Audrey-Hepburn hairstyles; * Letting me sing "Don't stand in the rain with me"; * Your 99-cent Egg McMuffins; * Your refills straight from the coffee pot. I do NOT want any of: * Your foul-language potty mouth that you never showed when first we met; * Your sudden eruptions in Hell-Hath-No-Fury anger; * Your My-Way-Or-The-Highway domineering bossy Her-Royal-Highness-Ship; * Your up-and-down roller-coaster mood-swings; * Your "I inspire you" talk that makes some random guy blurt out "You inspire me too"; * Your taking out on me whatever is going wrong in your Primary Relationship. And may God have mercy on all the other guys that fall in love with you.
Same Time Next Year The Reverend Michael O'Herlihy