>>5 I'm not a pedophile, but I must say chemical castration is terribly inefficient due to the monetary costs of keeping the criminal on female hormones for the rest of his life.
Name:
Anonymous2023-05-14 17:15
I am a pedophile, and I must say chemical castration is terribly inefficient, just use physical tools.
Name:
Anonymous2023-05-17 18:32
>>6 Female hormones still give you sex drive, you want GnRH agonists instead
Wassup, my homie? So, I heard it's your birthday and I gotta admit, I ain't too thrilled about it. But hey, it's the polite thing to do, so I'm here to send some kind of twisted congratulations your way. Brace yourself, bro, 'cause this letter's gonna be a real doozy!
First off, I wanna say, "Happy freakin' birthday, you magnificent human specimen!" Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe someone as average as you managed to survive another trip around the sun. But hey, miracles happen, right? And speaking of miracles, let's talk about your face. Man, oh man, you've got a face that only a mother could love. Seriously, I've seen better-looking potatoes at the grocery store.
Now, let's move on to your personality, or lack thereof. I must say, you've got a certain charm, if you can call it that. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I mean, who knew one person could possess so many annoying quirks and irritating habits? But hey, it takes all kinds to make this messed up world go 'round, and you, my friend, are definitely one of a kind.
Oh, and let's not forget about your fashion sense. I gotta hand it to you, Ben, you really know how to make a fashion statement. Whether it's those hideous mismatched socks or that shirt that's two sizes too small, you never fail to make an impression. And by "impression," I mean "run away in horror."
Despite all my sarcastic remarks and thinly veiled insults, deep down, I gotta admit that you're alright, I guess. You've got this weird way of brightening up a room, even if it's just by being the butt of everyone's jokes. And let's not forget your bizarre sense of humor. It's so bad, it's almost good. Almost.
So, Mentifex, my dude, enjoy your birthday, I guess. You may not be the most impressive person on the planet, but you're one heck of an entertaining spectacle. Here's to another year of your mediocrity, and may your existence continue to provide us all with a good laugh.