The blog of a depressed programmer

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The blog of a depressed programmer

I'm depressed. I'm a programmer. This is my story.
I'll update whenever I feel like it, no promises.

I will be using RSA for signing, I hope you guys don't mind, I just don't want to have my blog 'stolen', so to say. Let's hope the board software doesn't rape the whitespace and causes these signature checks to fail.

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The blog of a depressed programmer

I didn't get out of bed til 4 pm yesterday. Didn't feel like coding, so I fapped to yaoi and watched anime for 8 hours then fell asleep.

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>>10
faggot

>>11
Get out.

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First post: About me.

I figure I'll tell you guys who I am so you can all get some background on me. I'm a 20ish year old NEET hobby coder. Not a lot of my projects get finished and I'm generally a messy person. I'm hoping to get a job somewhere that isn't AGILE and where your pay is determined by how 'hip' you are. A person quite close to me died a while ago and I'm still dealing with that. I also like food, and I cook a lot of food with my mom.

I'm hoping that by opening up to you guys, you're not gonna smack me down like >>10-hime. I hope you guys enjoy my blog...

I've been having some depression issues lately, and it's not really been getting better. I have my ups throughout the day, though. But these downs are really starting to get to me. I should make a small script that plots my mood statistics and produces nice graphs of my mood over time or something. It might be interesting to see the frequency domain of my mood.

Maybe a nice next project, after I've given up on my current one and will start reaping the reusable code from it's corpse. I really don't know what else to write about myself. I guess I'll talk code.

I've given up on my latest project after I realized that even if I finished it? The final product will still fucking suck. I will be able to reuse 85% of the ~580 lines of code I wrote, though, most of it is part of a framework I wrote earlier, so that's good. My framework has been of use to my friend. I won't post source code or go into detail to remain anonymous. Sorry.

I *AM* proud of my well engineered sepples code I wrote, though. It looks good, it's very readable and cost me a lot of time to write. Mostly it was just designing it and research into streams and how they work internally. I'm glad the hard part is over on that one, it's definitely a keeper but not quite done yet.

PS: Sorry for the late post.
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>>13
When I hear that I want to give you advice. Giving advice to depressed people usually makes them pissed off, so I won't unless you ask me to.

I enjoyed your application of -hime to the situation.

>>12
suddenly you don't belong on this board if you don't jerk off to gay homos? fuck off

The fucking retard calls programming ``coding''.

>>15, 16
You little monkeys make me fucking sick. Fuck off and die.

>>16
He never called it 'coding'. Check the fucking signatures, dickwad.

Programmers seem to have many issues when it comes to personal projects. ``Lack of motivation'', ``depression'' or ``not enough time'' are the most common. Mine is somewhat peculiar. I have the time and am not depressed.

I also have all the motivation in the world. Sounds like something desirable, right? Well, I think it's the root of my programming-related problems.

You see, I get excited (not sexually) rather easily. Working on a simple Scheme interpreter in C? Consider all the possibilities. This will be so fun! The final result is going to be amazing! Better re-read those websites about the wonders of Lithp. Those you found a few days ago but never closed and are next to the hundreds of open tabs of Touhou fanart. Okay, time to get working. But look at that peach butt before you actually start.

Time to get started. Blinking cursor. Man, I look forward to the day this is finished. I could even make my own toy language and play around with it. I wonder if I can roll out my own regex engine? Back to the browser, do some reading on regex engines. Look, there's an open tab with a Perl tutorial. But I already read this, better close it. Wait, I didn't know that. What was I supposed to be doing again? Right, wanted to read about regex engines. There's a parser that can do this? Read about parsers. There's your answer: it uses backtracking. Recursion. Never understood how an algorithm could be O(inverse of Ackermann function). Tetration. Fuck, I was reading about parsers! Yeah, I could make a regex engine in my own Scheme when I finish it. Let's try again.

Blinking cursor. Back to the browser, looking for regex engines and Touhou butts. Really hyped for the things I will be able to do if the project is finished successfully, but that's obviously never going to happen if I keep doing this.

Does anyone else have this issue? I know I can deal with this by learning how to meditate but I'm curious to know if there's someone out there who knows how this feels.

Sorry for the intrusion, >>1-san.

>>19
That's just lack of focus. Motivation includes being able to manage focus, or being able to disregard everything else and do what you need to do. You lack both focus and motivation, fucking around learning about random shit you enjoy isn't motivation, it's just fucking around. Whether it's beneficial or not doesn't matter, you enjoy it and idly read comp sci topics and look at Touhou butts.

Motivation is what gives you the ability to sit through the parts that aren't fun.

>>19

Does anyone else have this issue? I know I can deal with this by learning how to meditate but I'm curious to know if there's someone out there who knows how this feels.

I know how that feels, but i cant give you good advice beacus i havent mastered this myself much, it seems to me like you are too enthusiastic and impatient to do the design properly and expect results right away.
What you should try is to plan your aproach more and devide your work in smaller bits and take one bit at a time, if you get stuck tough work on another.

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That's alright, >>19, I'm glad you replied. Else, my 'blog' would be pretty dead anyways.

What >>20 said. I wrote this a few hours ago, but never posted it because I wanted to proof read it. Oh well.

=============================================================

Same issues here. Try to set a project and REFUSE to work on anything else until the project is finished. Write down all your brainstorming ideas on paper (even for other projects), and set microgoals for your current project. That's what I do, and it seems to work well. It keeps me focused on one task at a time. What I also do on huge projects is make difficulty and pay-off assessments for every microgoal I can, and I select the lowest difficulty and highest pay-off goals. I haven't sorted out my 'microgoal algorithm' for dependent microgoals and what task to select first, please experiment!

Want to get that scheme interpreter working but chances are it's gonna flop because of lack of progress? Work on the most promising but reusable component of it. Make it reasonably generic so that if you abandon your project, you can easily intergrate it into the next. (By 'reasonably generic' I mean: make it as generic as is reasonable within the confines of your current project, code reuse is second business, after all.)

But why reinvent the wheel? Why do something that's been done before? Plenty of scheme interpreters around. If your scheme interpreter has "INTERGRATED SELFLEARNING BUZZWORD GENERATORS" and whathaveyounot, it's probably interesting to do, but if it doesn't? It's gonna be Yet Another Scheme Interpreter.

Go forth and make that scheme interpreter and ONLY make that scheme interpreter. The only thing you've got to lose is time. Stamina is replenishable. Then again: Use tools, don't reinvent them.

PS: Sorry if I come off as a self-proclaimed expert, I don't want to be a douche that claims to know it all, I didn't even know about tetration until I saw your post and read the wikipedia article about it. For god's sake, I barely finish any projects. This is just what worked for me. So please don't take it the wrong way. I tend to be blunt about things.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetration

ASCII notation a^^n Since the up-arrow is used identically to the caret (^), the tetration operator may be written as (^^).

It should be called the luke operator.

>>20
Thank you for making me realize I'm fucking around. This will make me see things in a different way and I'll try not to do stupid shit next time I'm working on something. Knowing that wanting fast results isn't ``motivation'' is useful too.

>>21
Yes, I've been skipping the design details and making the stupid decision of leaving them for a later time. I will work on this.

>>22
Wow, I'm a messy piece of shit. The microgoals system sounds like a simple (yet efficient) way of getting stuff done, but I don't even do that and go straight to smashing the keyboard like a horny Indian code monkey in a Java^{(R)(C) TM} Certified Business Suit^TM.

The funniest thing is that I'm not even making anything promising, it's just the thrill of completing something by myself.

No, it's okay, I think your advice is entirely valid.

I, on the other hand, admonish you to do no up front design whatsoever. Instead, do ad-hoc design, on paper, and scrap it.

>>25
This is pretty much what I do, and it works.

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Second post: mood plotting program

The reason why I started this blog is because of this thread: http://bbs.progrider.org/prog/read/1390852075
I was gonna write about hipsters and fakes on here. But you know what? Tons of people do that, so fuck that. I've got better things to do than spread disgust around these (awesome) parts of the internet.

So, I went ahead and made a program that asks me for my current state of mood (a number between -5 and +5) with a small dialog window and writes this data to disk. The dialog pops up every 30 minutes via a (settable) timer, and I can trigger the dialog to show even if the timer isn't over yet do I feel the need to add additional data points. When the dialog pops up? I have 30 seconds to set the value and click 'save' or 'dismiss'. (I can also set this timeout)

The only thing I log is my mood (a number between -5 and +5 inclusive) and the time I measured it (unix time). Its written to disk in the format of "1391430407, -2" on every line. I'll be doing this and posting some nice graphs here as soon as I get actual data. Are you guys interested?

<sub>PS: I had quite the giggle at the 'Java(R)(C) TM Certified Business Suit TM' joke.
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>>27
you should also record all the Xorg input (keyboard, mouse) activity and do correlations

you might want to do something about passwords, though

>>27
I am interested both in the libraries/tools you will use and the results of the analysis.

>>27
Dont mean to pissing on your parade, but whats the point? I mean how is that data gonna help you in any way.
I assume its to make you less depressed somehow or help undestanding your depression in some way.

>>27
Very interested. Do you want to share the program? It would be interesting to see everyone's mood.

Why don't just you get some meds and pills and stuff and become a happy little man like i dide

>>32
You're not happy.

>>32
Tell me how or il go over to your place and stab you you in the guts and take your pills.

>>33
Shut up dork

>>34
Go see a psychiatrist and tell her that your life sux and you are always tired and sad and stuff and that you never had sex, either she will direct you to therapy(fuck that) or she will give you the pills and then you can begin new life as a healthy, succesful man of society. Just keep it mind that they can be expensive and will get you hooked harder than meth

>>35
Shut up drug addicted NIGGER

>>35

Go see a psychiatrist and tell her

Sexist shithead.

>>36
Inbred genetic trash.

>>37
Use "him" by default, get called sexist shithead.
Use "her" to cater Tumblrites, get called sexist shithead.
What the fuck?

>>35
Look you nutty sexist druggy inferior minded inferiori raced nigger you oughta just kill yourself and you don't evne know what it means tro be heathly or succeful
here let me shove this pill right up your anus nigger

me and my psyhcairhts mad elove he's a cute teen with a nice ass and is atheletic (with a pink tight hairless anus)
also had sex with my wife today lel shes gay actually uh yeah but not a nigger NONE ARE NIGGERS ALWAYS WHITE WHTIE IS THE BEST ALAWYS THE BEST

fuckin nutty druggie

>>37
niglet popper outter

>>38
Use genderless pronouns.

>>39
kill yourself you redneck methhead

>>40
i pronouned ur sheboon mother

>>38

I used her because my psychiatrist is a cis female and so are almost all others I have seen, I guess I am at fault for being so patriarchal and perpetuating stereotypes!

die cis scum

TN: "the ciss cum"

>>44

on your butthole and all over your face!

>>46
Insanity and ignorance. Look what centuries of inbreeding have brought you, white pigs.

Post more, OP.

I miss OP too.

Come back OP. ;_;

>>6

personal-compress-preferences BZIP2 ZIP ZLIB Uncompressed

why not gzip you hipster?

>>51

ZLIB

>>52
my mom said that it's not the same

>>48-50
OP probably killed himself by now

>>54
And yet the ``pseudointellectual'' shitposter lives on. There is no justice in the world.

>>55
whom?

>>56
You know, the shitposter who really loves using the word ``pseudointellectual''. You can recognize them by the frequent use of ``fuckin'', ``atheist'', and ``le''-style shitposting.

Le fuckin atheist pseudointellectual, stupid russian

OP killed his entire self. I'll be sure to cheer up so I don't end up like him.

he should've tried investing in some dragon dildos

You guys I think he's actually dead ;_;

Another white male killed himself, world just became a better place.

>>61
Prove that "better" over the set of worlds is a well-ordering

>>62
It is because I made it that way.

>>62
Let W be the set of all worlds. Let F be a subset of W. Suppose F = Yannick's African Mud Hut. Then F is guaranteed to be the minimum of F under the order "better".

I'm a fucking retard!

* A = Yannick's African Mud Hut. Then A is guaranteed to be the minimum of F

>>64,65
Yes you are you pseudo fucking intellectual. Try doing some real math instead of trying to be le pseduo-equation master.

F can't be both a subset and an element.

>>65
sry didn't read that before posting
so...YAMH is the minimum element for any subset? even for subsets that don't contain YAMH? if you're saying that every subset of W contains YAMH, that means W = {YAMH} i.e. only has one element. So you're basically saying that there exists only one world.

>>65
sry didn't read the talmud before posting
so...YHWH is the maximum deity for any subset? even for subsets that don't contain YHWH? if you're saying that every subset of W contains YHWH, that means W = {YHWH} i.e. only has one element. So you're basically saying that there exists only one God.

>>68
Small correction
S/contain(s)/hás as an element/

>>70

hás

You áre á fággot.

>>71

MY SYMBOLS ARE THE ONLY TRUE SYMBOLS!

Look at >>72, acting like a cretin on purpose and quoting shit he pulled out of his ass!

>>73
I implied that that is most likely the belief that justifies such a behavior.

>>74
The only thing you're implying is that you're an idiot who can't even use things for their intended purpose.

You must be one of those retards who puts quotation marks without any valid reason. Have you ever bothered using that pea brain of yours?

>>75
I extrapolated the use. Why? Because I can.

EXTRAPOLATE MY ANUS

>>76
Oh yeah? Eat some shit. Why? Because you can.

>>78
Eating shit is not useful. Extrapolating the use of the quotation function is useful.

>>78
Also because I enjoy it.

>>79
It sure is useful at making you look like an unfunny retard.
Just because you enjoy it doesn't mean it's right.

I hope >>1-kun is still alive ;_;

Why didn't OP just use a tripcode?

Did you die?

You'd better still be alive >>1-faggot!

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I haven't killed myself yet, but I will tonight.

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>>86
Old: Signature Packet(tag 2)(284 bytes)
Ver 4 - new
Sig type - Signature of a canonical text document(0x01).
Pub alg - RSA Encrypt or Sign(pub 1)
Hash alg - SHA512(hash 10)
Hashed Sub: signature creation time(sub 2)(4 bytes)
Time - Thu Jan 30 16:36:54 CET 2014
Sub: issuer key ID(sub 16)(8 bytes)
Key ID - 0x7BBD6AC95D4B4A12
Hash left 2 bytes - e1 d6
RSA m^d mod n(2048 bits) - ...
-> PKCS-1

Nice try, faggot.

check em

check em

so, did OP die?

>>90
Yeah. R.I.P. OP.

I know OP personally. He's alive and well.