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Neurotypical idiots

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-20 2:39

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 3:04

>>120
Truer words have never been spoken

Oh jeez I'm starting to worry about how this story is going to turn out

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 3:17

>>121
This whole thread is OP writing down the reasons he decided to travel to Gensokyo to be with his true love.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 4:56

>>121

It's going to turn out with a sad Youmu. Op is a monster.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 10:25

>>122
Best dubs I have ever seen. Hands down.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 14:14

>>124
Don't trust this guy, said the same thing about mine just the other day. Someone that fickle is just going to bored with your dubs and move on to his next fix.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 16:45

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 17:44

>>126
Anime shit inside, don't click.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 18:17

>>127

Just clicked, get fukkt kiddo.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-25 18:42

>>127
I also thank you for the info, wouldn't have looked at it otherwise.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 0:14

FUCKING POST MORE OP

Name: !PjnbLbtYFM 2015-04-26 1:39

>>122
Pretty much.

>>123
Not really.

Name: !PjnbLbtYFM 2015-04-26 2:04

Power outage, posting this from backup power. Be back later.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 2:10

>>131
SO I hope.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 2:35

This is the longest thread I've never read. Hands down.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 5:13

I saw this thread when it first was posted and I ignored it. I now see it has over 130 posts. Should I read it? I'll only read it if somebody recommends it to me.

Name: RedCream 2015-04-26 5:19

>>135
Should I read it?
Noa.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 5:43

>>135
Nah, it's just some jackass telling his life story about how he met some 3D bitch pig or something.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 9:47

>>135
Yes.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 10:55

>>77
No self-respecting individual would play app-tier games.
Only plebs play games.
You can't stand the smell of a girl, yet you're completely okay >with vaginas and anuses? Makes sense, virgin/g/ro.
Perfume covers the stench. retard, and no I'm not a virgin.
>>82
Perfume isn't about covering up the smell of human, it's about mixing an intoxicating smell with the human smell and only being able to smell the bad parts of both. Only a nigger would enjoy smelling like that.
Looks like you're bad taste incarnate, then again your posts make you look like a sperg autist.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 11:00

>>139
Shit reply, mate. Off yourself.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 11:10

>>118
I looked down. I was completely inside her. Wait, what? I didn't feel a thing. Nothing. Come to think of it, there's a pleasant warmth around me. Except this is not the kind of feeling you're supposed to pick up consciously. You should need anyone to tell you you're completely inside a girl.
Yeah the first time is really shitty but after a while it starts feeling great.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 11:12

>>141
Shittier reply, mate. Off yourself.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 11:12

>>140
How about you off yourself for having such shit taste.
Would be a fitting end, giving yourself completely to life through death.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 11:29

>>143
He's right you know. Reply was shit ok.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 13:07

>>139,141,143
Are you kidding? These are the shittiest posts I've ever read on this board. Hands down. And that's saying something.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 13:38

Should this thread be banned?

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 13:46

>>146
Should you be banned?

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 14:12

>>137-147
Are you slapping ballsacks yet?

>>136
Cloan.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 14:24

>>147
Can I use the site as my blog?
No.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 15:16

OP, please ignore posts like >>146 and continue with your story.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 15:23

can't believe you retards are bitching about thread quality on fucking /lounge/

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 15:42

>>151
Look around. There's only one thread full of morons talking about "brah you sound like a sperg d00d let me give you advice on picking up chicks brah d00d dont be autist lulz." This is it.

Name: !PjnbLbtYFM 2015-04-26 16:01

After she finished, I went to the bathroom to wash my penis in a hurry and throw that empty condom away. On my way back to my bedroom I kept thinking how severely underwhelming the whole thing was, at least in a physical sense. Sure, it was an intense experience emotionally wise, though I was expecting much more than this.

I can't remember how long we stayed there, lying on my bed, intertwined legs, hugging and kissing each other without saying a single word. Must have been more than two hours. I knew I had to be there for her, but I was acting based on my sense of responsibility and not on my true feelings. I couldn't be assed to care about her in that precise moment, didn't felt like it. That said, I'm not an asshole and I knew leaving her alone right after she finished would be pretty rude.

I spent all this time thinking about Youmu and trying to forget there was an actual girl next to me. An actual girl with a not-firm-enough and a not-soft-enough body. At that moment I felt something identical to post-orgasm regret without actually having an orgasm.

Me: "I'm not sure how to feel about this."
Youmu: "Are you sure you like her?"
M: "(...) I don't know."
Y: "I'll take that as a no."
M: "I wouldn't go as far as to say that."
Y: "Well, I understand. Given the chance, anyone would act on their instinct."
M: "(...)"
Y: "I know you're disappointed. Try not to make it evident, you will hurt her."
M: "Right."
Y: "In any case, you are not one to bluntly break things up. You'll stay with her, right?"
(Yes, Youmu just called me a pussy)
M: "I don't have any other choice, making an enemy out of her would be a dumb move."

I pretended Hatate was Youmu for a moment and embraced her tightly. "There's no one like you", I thought.

Ever since I became a weeb, I thought cuddling was magical. In all reality, girls are much heavier than you think, their skin is not spotless and smooth and you have to try awkward maneuvers like putting your arm under her neck and folding it to touch her back to ensure both parties are comfortable and not having their limbs go numb from the weight of your partner.

After that, we watched some anime while naked and slept together on my bed. It was kinda uncomfortable because I sleep on a single size bed. It also gets hot to the point of discomfort. I woke up many times during the night because of this. I'd occasionally glance at her, admiring her sleeping figure. Having a sleeping naked girl next to you is truly amazing. Just for looking though, actually sleeping with a girl, naked or not, is not that fun.

-- cont

Name: RedCream 2015-04-26 16:02

>>151

An astute observation which any rational felloa should take under suitable advisement in oarder to coarrectly guide his oan behavioar.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 17:53

>>153
not firm enough and a not soft-enough body

nigga rly

>>93,99,146,149,151

everyone make way for the universal arbiter of what should be posted on /lounge/ L O L

pls don't stop !PjnbLbtYFM-kun

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 18:48

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 19:06

>>156
How is that relevant to the topic at hand? There's a huge difference between garbage posts and posts you don't like.

OP, please ignore this vocal retard. >>2,14,17,41,50,51,57,63,93,99,127,137,139,146,149 are all posts by the same alpha dudebro monkey who's mad because you're posting this instead of more Jews, RedCream and fart threads.

I suggest you sage all your posts from now on to keep the /g/ teenagers at bay while the ones who are interested in reading more can do so without having threadshitters interfere.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 20:04

>>157
Can I use the site as my blog?
No.

That's how it's relevant.

Name: !PjnbLbtYFM 2015-04-26 21:10

>>139
Looks like you're bad taste incarnate
Let me guess: you're into disproportionally big girls with huge tits and asses, you think noticeable makeup looks good, you think earrings and flashy accessories are hot and not dumb, you probably like tattoos and piercings, you would be okay dating a smoker and you think celebrities are super hot.

How is this not proof of your nigger tastes? You should get some standards instead of having sex with random strangers and deluding yourself into thinking you're having a lot of fun.

then again your posts make you look like a sperg autist.
We all knew this from the beginning, it's not like I'm trying to hide it.

>>157
Duly noted.

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-26 22:34

>>157
Why did you quote me? I'm interested in this thread but I'm just calling !PjnbLbtYFM out on his terrible taste.
>>159
Let me guess: you're into disproportionally big girls with huge tits and asses, you think noticeable makeup looks good, you think earrings and flashy accessories are hot and not dumb, you probably like tattoos and piercings, you would be okay dating a smoker and you think celebrities are super hot.
Nice strawman, but no you fucking pleb.

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