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Neurotypical idiots

Name: Anonymous 2015-04-20 2:39

I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.

After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.

Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.

Him: "How's life going for you?"
Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?"
H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us."
(starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss)
H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life."
(first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds)
M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others."
H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?"
(girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah")
H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!"
M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle."
(girlfriend looks mildly offended)
H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with."
(Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?)
M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers."
H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you."
M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far."
H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."

Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,

M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds."
H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else."
M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?"
(you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face)
H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?"
M: "Uh... okay."
("yay" in the background)

Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.

-- cont
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Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 5:42

You like watching soccer when you're bored and she likes fashion and reality shows? Good fucking luck, you fucking retards. Both of you are useless shitheads and you'll have nothing to share with each other than your so-called "love", which is just kissing and having sex with each other because you're both neurotypicals and afraid to die alone.
* pegs >>479-san in the head with a beer can *
GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLL

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 5:44

SAGE

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 6:42

>>479
But I did read it, [REDACTED].
I read every word.
Thank you for your story.
I hope you're successful at going back to only having eyes for an imaginary 2D girl

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 7:52

>>483
You should have sage'd it, bro. Why didn't you? Why didn't you just. Fucking. Sage. It?

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 8:32

>>483
What? Nothing you said in that post is true. Off yourself.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 10:07

>>484
because I'm not your bro, imageboard meme spewing piece of shit

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 10:48

>>484
I saged until that faggot started using sage as an insult, then I started bumping it for shits and giggles.
Bump

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 10:56

>>479
Great read, !PjnbLbtYFM-kun. I hope you will find eternal happiness with Youmu. Thank you for everything.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 14:39

Can someone post a summary of this?

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 14:45

>>489
Don't worry, SparkNotes should have a full analysis and summary any time now.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 14:59

>>479
Has conformism become the rule now?
Yes it's the only way to truly be different, keep up with the times.
Relationships are not the only way of fulfilling them and you're a retard for thinking so.
Wow it's almost like everybody isn't like you and honestly does want a relationship.
what's forcing you to spend all your goddamned free time together?
Nothing, some people enjoy it.
Now replace "close friend" with "girlfriend". Suddenly, you're a heartless bastard.
I see that you're posting out of your ass again.
barely knows about computers
Are you really so fucking stupid that you care about this the most?
is more fun than spending five years with that childhood friend who would play ball every afternoon with you?
Maybe because some have a closer bond to their partners, ever think of that?
Of course not, you don't have to live with someone else to enjoy your time together.
You wouldn't, and you don't.
Replace "random girl" with "friend who always drinks with you" and the idea of living together for the rest of your lives now sounds stupid.
You left out "girl you're in love with".
I've got Youmu. I don't need anyone else.
Then fuck off back to your hole, the mentally ill aren't welcomed here.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 15:21

the mentally ill aren't welcomed here.
Ebin

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 15:24

Thanks !PjnbLbtYFM-kun. I may not agree with you on the value of intimate relationships but you sure can write good.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 17:40

>>493
No he can't !

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 18:06

I thought everyone on this was mentally ill.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 19:32

Thank you, !PjnbLbtYFM-kun. I enjoyed this story.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 19:45

>>491
Are you really so fucking stupid that you care about this the most?
What the fuck are you doing here? Back to Hacker News, casual "computers are just gigantic smartphones useful only for social media" apper.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 19:53

>>489
Don't be a lazy retard, OP posted at most 10% of this thread. It shouldn't take you more than 30 minutes to read it from the very beginning.

Name: Not OP 2015-05-07 20:29

>>491
Maybe because some have a closer bond to their partners, ever think of that?
You left out "girl you're in love with".
Anyone care to explain this to a kissless virgin?

As far as I know
stranger - (nothing)
acquaintance - talks to you
friend - talks to you, hangs out with you
close friend - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you
FWB - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you, has sex with you
girlfriend - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you, has sex with you, kisses you
wife - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you, has sex with you, kisses you, has children with you


What's so appealing about the last two that makes couples move together and waste so much money?

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 20:41

>>499
who are you quoting?

Name: Not OP 2015-05-07 20:50

>>500
I'm quoting >>491.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 22:00

>>499
What's so appealing about the last two that makes couples move together and waste so much money?
Some people actually want to have a family with their spouse. Why do you care? Stop being so damn cynical.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 22:51

sage

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-07 23:11

>>491
All I could hear was "ooga booga i stick penis in wife i iz happy".

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 0:08

>>504
Check out my palindrome GET.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 1:16

>>505
Pretty nice bro. Could have done with a sage or 2 tho.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 1:55

>>506
bump

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 2:02

>>507
epic /b/ump, reddit/g/ro.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 2:17

>>508
💊💊💉💉🚬🚬🔫🔫📫📫📪📪📬📬📤📤🈵🈴🈲🉐🉐

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 2:47

>>497
Computers are rooted in life and life is imperfect, caring about anything in life is a waste.
>>499
You have a closer relationship with those you love.
>>504
Retard

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 4:50

OP, don't rule something out completely just because you've had a few bad experiences. Learn from mistakes if that's how you see them, but don't draw that all future experiences will be similar to these. It's not all about sex. Unless that's the only thing you are looking for, or being used for.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 7:24

greasy shitskin niggers

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 11:07

>>491,502,510,511
You should consider going back to reddit.

Name: Well-Adjusted Young Man 2015-05-08 13:31

>>1
Neurotypical idiots
No one is quite like another. It might seem that way to you because you're only looking at the surface, not making any significant relationships with anyone you meet.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 14:07

>>514
Give suicide a chance.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 14:18

>>514
It might be time to consider suicide my friend, that post was unfortunate indeed.

Name: Well-Adjusted Young Man 2015-05-08 14:21

>>515
Do you recommend it because you've tried it?

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 14:32

Trips coming up y'all >>555

Name: RedCream 2015-05-08 14:44

My suicide attempt in 1996 was very successful, but as time went on, the benefits lagged. So I attempted suicide again in 2009 and again reaped the benefits of its success. I admit my roal.

Name: Anonymous 2015-05-08 14:59

>>519
Tell us more. In fact, why not start your own thread in the spirit of this one where you wax lyrical about your life? I'd like to see that, I would.

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