I fucking hate all of you for making me waste my time.
After graduating from university, I still was a virgin. Some of my ex-classmates I was kinda close with kept bugging me about my "distant, cold and aloof personality". They don't understand it's plain boring to spend your time with people who are majoring on computer engineering, yet still don't know how to install a Linux distro or make a basic IRC client in C. Because of this, interaction between us consisted of calling me whenever they wanted to play a multiplayer game or had a problem with their pirated software running on shitty hardware. Telling them outright to fuck off wasn't a good idea because university forces you to do group homework and making enemies is never a good idea, no matter where you are.
Now for the relevant part. Since we all grew out of university and went on with our lives, many of them followed the usual trend of getting a job, buying a car, finding a girlfriend and becoming utterly bitter faggots. One of my ex-classmates called me, said he's wondering how I've been doing and invited me over to his place. Trying not to be an asshole, I accepted his invitation and had a long conversation while we were having lunch. The lunch his girlfriend had prepared for all three of us.
Him: "How's life going for you?" Me: "Got a job for a small company that works with embedded devices. Been writing some simple drivers and helping them with their Linux servers and stuff because they don't have any sysadmins yet. What about you?" H: "Found a job at a company that makes software for other bigger companies. It's been pretty hard on me but I'm doing this for the both of us." (starts staring at his girlfriend, she giggles and they kiss) H: "I suppose you already found someone to give meaning to your life." (first thought that comes to my head is that of my favorite Touhou, then I realize how gay he sounds) M: "No, you know I'm not the kind of person to spend my time with others." H: "Awww! Come on, aren't you a bit too old for that?" (girlfriend agrees with a quick nod and a "Yeah, yeah") H: I bet you still live alon- don't tell me you are still single!" M: "Well, yeah. Time and money are virtually unlimited, there's nothing to complain about this lifestyle." (girlfriend looks mildly offended) H: "You wouldn't understand! You've never had someone to share your days with." (Is that my fault? I consider myself an unintelligent dumbfuck and finding people who are mildly interesting is pretty fucking hard. Also, what kind of brainwashing have you been through? What's with those awfully cheesy sayings?) M: "Of course not, I'm considerate enough not to bore other people to death with my endless ramblings about computers." H: "Haha, don't say that, I'm pretty sure there's someone out there for you." M: "I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm real fucking sick of that line. How many times have I told you I don't find permanent company enjoyable? Living alone and having all the time I want for myself is what I've always wanted ever since I was very young and I'm not giving it up after I've come this far." H: "You're saying that because you're feeling lonely. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon to rationalize your situation, especially at your age. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go back to being single after you find someone you genuinely enjoy spending your time with."
Trying not to start a pointless argument at someone else's place, I laugh it off and propose we play something after we're done having lunch, on the excuse that "it's not that uncommon to become a little faggot at games, especially after you find a girlfriend". I was expecting his girlfriend to get mad and him to laugh, but instead they both laughed like monkeys. After finishing our lunch, I gave his girlfriend a honest compliment for her cooking skills, thanked both of them for the meal and went straight for his PS3. I spotted a brand new copy of some Call of Duty game,
M: "What about this one? Seems like neither of us have played this game before and it'd be nice to see if it really is catered for 12 year olds." H: "Haha, yeah, I wouldn't play that game by myself, I bought it hoping I could play it with someone else." M: "You haven't even peeled off the cover. Have you not played this with her?" (you can read "shit, I totally forgot about her" on his face) H: "Uh, she doesn't like that kind of games. (...) How about Little Big Planet?" M: "Uh... okay." ("yay" in the background)
Thinking it would be a boring game for children, I was surprised after having some legitimate fun with it, though it's not my favorite kind of game and I was progressively getting bored. Seems like he was getting bored of it too, though his girlfriend was still brimming with enthusiasm. Which is funny because she was pretty bad at the game.
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There's nothing else to be told. Alice came back after some months. Her father was fully recovered but he wasn't the same person he was before. She was worried he would die at any moment. She would space out every now and then. I tried to be as supportive as I could. Once she went through the phase of acceptance, she regained her cheerfulness and tried not to bring up the topic anymore.
We continued with the usual routine of playing board games if we were at her place, or playing racing games if we were at mine. Driving her car for hours and having fun together is also part of our biweekly-monthly encounters.
What else can I say? Sex wasn't the same after I got the onahole. I never told Alice about this, but the onahole felt much better than her. We still have sex pretty much every time we see each other, though I'm not as motivated to do it anymore. We've tried doing different things and talking about each other's sexual interests, though nothing will ever feel better and more fulfilling than the onahole.
After I went back to having a calm life, there were many realizations that dawned upon me.
- I might have a hormone imbalance. I was presented with so many "opportunities" and couldn't enjoy most of them. Meanwhile, others abandon their job, move to a different country/state or drop out of university to spend the rest of their life with their partner. Something must be wrong with me because I never had the need to do such things. Everyone says your standards will eventually drop until you find someone who (barely) fulfills them. I'm sorry, why should I drop my standards? Has conformism become the rule now? No, it's always been like this. Since virtually everyone is okay with this while I can't even find any logic behind it, there must be something wrong with me. I'll never try to fix it, though. Things are fine the way they are and I consider myself lucky for being an outlier in the huge pool of people who think company equals happiness.
- I don't want to do this anymore. I've been told infinitely many times that I should keep trying until I find someone who's right for me. This boils down to fucking around until you get tired of it and settling for the first girl that tolerates your shit. Why should I do that? There's no valid reason for me to get involved into something as boring as a relationship just because you and your neurotypical friends say so. Shut the fuck up and waste your time however you want.
- About relationships being boring: yes, humans have basic needs. I also have them. Relationships are not the only way of fulfilling them and you're a retard for thinking so. Want to have fun with people who share your interests? There's friends. Want to orgasm? Friends with benefits, masturbatory aids and/or call girls. Want to feel or make someone else feel loved or protected? Get closer with your family, adopt a child/pet or do something like taking care of a homeless person. A relationship will initially work out if these three things are present. Making those feelings last for more than two weeks depends on how much you get along the other person and is left as an exercise for the reader. If you take a look into most relationships, you'd realize most of them lack the component of friendship. No, drinking and having meals together isn't enough to make you friends. While it's very unlikely for both of you to have the exact same interests, you should at least make sure they're compatible. You like computers and machines and she likes math and physics? Great. You like watching soccer when you're bored and she likes fashion and reality shows? Good fucking luck, you fucking retards. Both of you are useless shitheads and you'll have nothing to share with each other than your so-called "love", which is just kissing and having sex with each other because you're both neurotypicals and afraid to die alone.
Working under the assumption you've got this covered, what's forcing you to spend all your goddamned free time together? Please explain why you don't do the same with your close (male) friends, and if you do, please explain why you're not sick of it yet. If a close friend wants to drink with you every single weekend, there will be a time when you're busy or tired and you'll decline his offer. Fine. Now replace "close friend" with "girlfriend". Suddenly, you're a heartless bastard. What the fuck? Is it impossible for everyone in this gay-ass world to have a friend of the opposite sex who has sex with you and isn't an obsessive fuck? You don't own her and she doesn't own you. You could lead a healthy relationship by having a friend and seeing each other only when you're both available. Add exclusivity and cheesy crap to the mix if you want. There is no rule that says all relationships should be about wasting time in irrational ways.
Also, have you ever had a friend last you your entire life? What makes you think spending five years with that girl who barely knows about computers but is "hot as hell XD" is more fun than spending five years with that childhood friend who would play ball every afternoon with you? Or what about that guy who knew more than you do and was always sharing his knowledge with you? Why do you think you deserve that dumb girl?
- Marriage is not a sign of responsibility. Quite the contrary, you're an irresponsible idiot if you're throwing your entire life out the window to make something as volatile and fruitless as a relationship into something permanent that legally ties you to some random girl. Would you live the rest of your life with that friend who always drinks with you? Of course not, you don't have to live with someone else to enjoy your time together. Well, you went and married some girl whose only remarkable features are her physical assets, even though you know she will get fat and old. Even if said girl is a really fucking interesting and fun person to be with, you could just keep her as a friend and skip all the bullshit. Replace "random girl" with "friend who always drinks with you" and the idea of living together for the rest of your lives now sounds stupid.
I've got Youmu. I don't need anyone else.
One last thing I need to tell all of you faggots: thank you so much for ruining 2D girls for me. Before this happened, I thought of having any kind of contact with 2D girls as an exhilarating experience. Touching perfectly smooth skin, kissing perfect lips, grabbing perfect firm breasts and having insanely good orgasms. This perfection manifested itself in many of my past dreams. I'd wake up with a mess in my pants, my body would feel like jelly, my brain would be turned off and I couldn't wait for a dream like that to repeat. Then I got a taste of real women. Their bodies are unimaginably dense (in the literal sense, even a thin girl is much heavier than you think), their smell varies wildly depending on many factors (and it's not good), they wear retarded looking clothes, most of them aren't passionate about anything, having sex with them isn't the same as ascending to heaven, they make weird noises, bleed every month and have random mood swings, they take up a lot of space, time, money and energy, not even the smoothest skin can be considered smooth, their bodies are imperfect even after getting tens of surgeries and thousands of hours of working out, vaginas feel nothing more than the inside of a very swollen mouth, they have body hair and shaving it leaves some horrible stubble, masturbation orgasms are most of the times more intense than sex orgasms, ...
Had I not been with real girls, I would still be wetting my pants from dreaming of 2D girls. Now I have dreams about sex with real girls, presumably because it's easier for my ape brain to work that out. Of course, it's easy to recreate an experience in your brain than to create a new story. I have to avoid looking at (pictures of) real girls for extended periods of time if I want to get as much excitement from pictures of 2D girls as I did before all this. If I don't, seeing a picture of a naked 2D girl instantly brings a mixture of not-so-nice smells to my mind like that "human" smell, genitals and KY. Man, I don't dislike Alice but she's also part of this.
I guess this is the end of this shitty story. Thank you for reading.
I know none of you actually read this wall of text, but thank you anyway.
You like watching soccer when you're bored and she likes fashion and reality shows? Good fucking luck, you fucking retards. Both of you are useless shitheads and you'll have nothing to share with each other than your so-called "love", which is just kissing and having sex with each other because you're both neurotypicals and afraid to die alone.
* pegs >>479-san in the head with a beer can * GOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLL
>>479 But I did read it, [REDACTED]. I read every word. Thank you for your story. I hope you're successful at going back to only having eyes for an imaginary 2D girl
Maybe because some have a closer bond to their partners, ever think of that? You left out "girl you're in love with".
Anyone care to explain this to a kissless virgin?
As far as I know stranger - (nothing) acquaintance - talks to you friend - talks to you, hangs out with you close friend - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you FWB - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you, has sex with you girlfriend - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you, has sex with you, kisses you wife - talks to you, hangs out with you, listens to you, has sex with you, kisses you, has children with you
What's so appealing about the last two that makes couples move together and waste so much money?
>>497 Computers are rooted in life and life is imperfect, caring about anything in life is a waste. >>499 You have a closer relationship with those you love. >>504 Retard
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Anonymous2015-05-08 4:50
OP, don't rule something out completely just because you've had a few bad experiences. Learn from mistakes if that's how you see them, but don't draw that all future experiences will be similar to these. It's not all about sex. Unless that's the only thing you are looking for, or being used for.
No one is quite like another. It might seem that way to you because you're only looking at the surface, not making any significant relationships with anyone you meet.
My suicide attempt in 1996 was very successful, but as time went on, the benefits lagged. So I attempted suicide again in 2009 and again reaped the benefits of its success. I admit my roal.
>>519 Tell us more. In fact, why not start your own thread in the spirit of this one where you wax lyrical about your life? I'd like to see that, I would.
In 1996 I could stand noa moar. I attempted suicide and was successful. I used a 9mm pistoal and fatally damaged by brain with one self-administered shot. After that, there were a few good years, and I mean really good... I was dead, and people treated me approapriately (that being, as if I was dead). Life was good (since I had noa life). My roal was obvious.
Then things paled as moar and moar people began to treat me as if I was alive. By 2007 every person I met was greeting me as if I was a living person. This became intolerable. Soa I used the same pistoal that I accomplished suicide with in 1996, and with another single shot, I attempted suicide again, and was again successful. Blood and brains splattered the wall and it was very obvious that I was dead.
Today, people still treat me as a dead person is treated. This pleases me and is the goal I desired.
That word has been overused to the point where it is near meaningless now. If someone calls you pretentious you should thank them, it is likely you have great taste and that person just felt threatened by someone intellectually superior.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 7:20
>>533 The definition of pretentious is 'pretending to be something you are not'. It hasn't been overused, because so so many people are doing just that, by taking the shortcut of using words used 200 years ago -- that are only surviving because there happened to be some highly intelligent people of that era who use that word (as was the norm) and their written works survive. But the thing is, there were plenty of stupid people using the word 'whom' back when it was popular, you just don't hear about them now.
The word whom hasn't been part of the common English dialect for many years, and its contemporary use is indicative of somebody attempting to sound educated and intelligent without actually putting in the effort to speak in a way that is relevant to the society they live in (ie, they are trying to ride the coattails of long-dead intelligent people who expressed their ideas using socially-acceptable language of the time). But If you cannot navigate social norms while attempting to express yourself, then you are not actually intelligent. No amount of using archaic expressions can change that.
The word whom hasn't been part of the common English dialect for many years
Citation needed.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 11:22
>>535 You'd do better asking what isn't a citation. The lack of the 'word' appearing anywhere in contemporary journalism, fiction and other written content speaks to incontrovertible confirmation of the original assertion.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 11:27
>>536 The lack of the 'word' appearing anywhere in contemporary journalism, fiction and other written content is simply your invention for the purpose of 'trawling'. I.e. a lie.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 11:31
>>536 Also, catering to the uneducated masses who lead your language down the path of oversimplification and degradation is a sign of low intelligence. On the other hand, promoting correct usage ("whom" instead of "who") has a positive effect on the language, as it shows the masses that the word "whom" is not obsolete and there are contexts where it is the correct choice. So the only thing your trolling posts >>534,536 promote is ignorance and degradation. What next, you'll announce that words like "me" or "her" are obsolete too? A nice English it will be, yeah:
What next, you'll announce that words like "me" or "her" are obsolete too
No, but I will announce that words like "aroint" or "swoopstake" are obsolete.
Face it, whom is archaic and only hanging onto the English language by a thread. Who replaces it entirely, and any of the dwindling contexts where a "whom" is still used are because of traditional speech patterns rather than necessity (as in, "who" would suffice, but it sounds odd due to ingrained speech patterns). If you knew anything about linguistics, you would know that this is the 'death rattle' of a word -- within one generation "whom" will be completely eradicated from the English language, like it or lump it.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 12:10
>>539 Those are nouns, not auxiliary words. Example invalidated.
"Whom" is a necessity, improves comprehension by differentiating the non-nominative case from the nominative ("who").
If you knew anything about linguistics, you would know that English is not a uniform language, and it has lots of regional, dialectic peculiarities ("colour", "rubbish", "aboot" etc). If the uneducated young Americans prefer to use "u", "there" and "ur" instead of "you", "their" and "your", then that will indeed impact the American English language, but it will not mean the complete eradication of the correct forms. Likewise, the correct "whom" will stay in parlance of those English speakers who receive a better education than that of the American redneck.
Man, nobody even knows what "nominative" means these days. Why? Because nobody needs to know. Advances in language efficiency are clearing out a lot of the 'dead wood' from the English language and if you can't keep up you shut up. Further, the internet has rendered regional dialects a thing of the past and given prominence to a consistent and efficient style of English that gives to credence to deliberately obtuse concepts like differentiating between non-nominative / nominative. Why are they deliberately obtuse you ask? It is all about class, anon. Keeping "higher-thought" inaccessible to the lower classes by cloaking it in unnecessary Kafkaesque rules.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 12:59
>>541 Lower class people are lower class because they enjoy being stupid.
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Anonymous2015-05-10 13:24
>>541 Man, nobody even knows what "good trolling" means these days. Why?
Nominative cases are found in Estonian, Slovak, Ukrainian, Hungarian, Lithuanian, Georgian, German, Latin, Greek, Icelandic, Old English, Old French, Polish, Serbian, Czech, Romanian, Russian, and Pashto, among other languages. English still retains some nominative pronouns, which are contrasted with the accusative (comparable to the oblique or disjunctive in some other languages): I (accusative, me), we (accusative, us), he (accusative, him), she (accusative, her), they (accusative, them) and who (accusative, whom).
English still retains some nominative pronouns, which are contrasted with the accusative (comparable to the oblique or disjunctive
That barely even makes any sense, as I indicated in >>541. Deliberate obfuscation to make language rules seem scary and mysterious to the less-educated, thus ensuring the lower classes are discouraged from learning and bettering their situation. Shameful. Absolutely shameful such harsh and divisive class barriers would be advocated for on a /lounge/.
>>546 And where do you think that fear stems from? English needs to start being INCLUSIVE not divisive. If concepts are too obscure to understand, they are NOT worth learning about. Nominative is a meaningless fantasy, used to further complicate and obscure the slippery nature of the word 'whom' which itself is often used as a subtle marker of upper-class prestige - not understanding its (meaningless) usage is like the yellow star given to the Jews in some circles.
Fun fact: the "m" at the end of "whom" is etymologyically related to the "m" at the end of "him" and "them"; it was originally the dative case ending for those pronouns (compare with the German dative article "dem")
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RedCream2015-05-10 18:47
RedCream's First Law: All threads diverge from the admission of roal.
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Anonymous2015-05-11 8:49
>>534 >>539 Except "whom" is grammatically correct in some cases, and "who" is grammatically incorrect in the same aforementioned cases; it is not some word used by those trying to emulate some "higher class".
>>554 Technically it is grammatically correct. But that doesn't change the fact it has fallen out of favor in our cultural discourse and will soon fade from use entirely. The only people using it currently are ivory tower academics and people trying to emulate said in a misguided attempt to sound intelligent and upper-class. Furthermore, grammar is fluid and culturally determined. The enforcement of arbitrary grammar rules is a classist, racist attempt to deny the less fortunate the opportunity to speak. If I was you, I'd focus less on your grammar and more on allowing people to express their ideas how they see fit.
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Anonymous2015-05-11 9:12
trips check em
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Anonymous2015-05-11 9:21
>>555 But that doesn't change the fact you're a tired troll playing a stuck record.
>>563 You know when I read your post it bothered me a bit, and I first thought it was simply because you are retarded and gay, but it is not just that. It is not just because your moronic faggotry is wrong, but also because the wrongness itself is unprovable in any meaningful way. All evidence pointing towards stupid faggot = bad is circumstantial and does little in actually proving the claim...
EXECUTIVE REPORT * Nigger is autistic * Nigger loves the Touhous * Friend of nigger, girlfriend of friend and nigger have lunch together * Girlfiend acts retarded * Nigger gets mad because he doesn't understand why relationships exist
* Nigger decides he wants to get a gf to see what it's like
* Nigger goes to weeaboo con * Nigger meets weeaboo Touhou cosplaying girl and car autist girl * Nigger is friends with cosplaying girl and car autist girl
* Nigger gets close to cosplaying girl * Nigger gets even closer to cosplaying girl * Nigger dumps cosplaying girl
* Nigger hangs out with car autist * Car autist is dumped by boyfriend * Nigger gets closer to car autist * Car autist goes back to her home for a while
* Nigger buys onahole * Nigger thinks his onahole is better than any real girl
* Nigger goes to Linux users meetup * Nigger meets girl who's also into the Rubik's cube, though she is much more serious about it than Nigger * Nigger feels annoyed by Cube girl's burning passion for cubes * Nigger rejects Cube girl (Does he? That's what I understood)
Probably the most amusing part of the story: * Nigger is forced to hit da clubz with his friends he met at the Linux meetup * Nigger doesn't have fun at da club * Slut hits on Nigger * Nigger avoids Slut but she is persistent * Nigger is kike'd and ends up in a love hotel with Slut without knowing it * Nigger is ``raped'' by Slut
* Nigger attends programmer meetup * Nigger meets rich programmer girl with a game programming studio * Programmer shows interest in Nigger's skills and hires him as a freelance sysadmin (I think) * Programmer turns out to be alcoholic * Programmer gets drunk and makes out with him, presumably because she's fucked in the head * Youmu saves the day and stops Nigger from going any further * Programmer doesn't seem to remember anything * Nigger doesn't work for Programmer anymore
* Nigger hires Hooker 1 * Nigger doesn't like Hooker 1 * Nigger hires Hooker 2 * Nigger is okay with Hooker 2 * Nigger hires Hooker 3 * Nigger is a bit more than okay with Hooker 3
* Car autist comes back from her trip * Nigger insists Youmu, the onahole and the dakimakura are all he'll ever need * The End
The other posts are either Nigger's ramblings, a reddit/g/ro bragging about his alphaness, a ``saging'' imageboarder, shitposting and additional commentary.
I enjoyed reading this thread and suggest you to do the same.