god tier jobs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHBHEWyZ1Xw
'
>you will never work at Bell Labs programming and designing the TCP/IP stack for the new UNIX operating system
>4chanssadfrogface.jpeg

I can't even grow a full 70's hacker beard ;_;

wife

>>44
Nice, bro xD

>>44
le pedophile sage

>>44
IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE

　　　　　♪　　☆
　　　♪　　　／ ＼　　　 O beautiful for spacious skies,
　　　　　　ヽ(´Д｀;)ﾉ 　　For amber waves of grain,
　　 　 　　　 (　 へ) 　　　For purple mountain majesties
　 　 　 　 　　く 　　　　　　Above the enameled plain!

　　　♪　　　　☆
　　　　　♪　 ／ ＼　　　America! America!
　　　　　　ヽ（;´Д｀）ﾉ　　God shed His grace on thee,
　　 　 　　　 (へ　 ) 　　　Till souls wax fair as earth and air
　 　 　 　 　　　　 >　　　 And music-hearted sea!

>>47
∩∩
| U |～
| ∧∧
|(,,ﾟДﾟ) ＜　That was beautiful!
Ｕ~Ｕ

Where the fuck do I find a job working w/ god-tier programmers? When looking for jobs, what are some of the things I should look out for?

I am surrounded by people who use SVN because Git is too complex to install. Everyone is writing Java. Front-end developers use <table> for layout. SOAP. Maven. Years of Java experience but unable to setup a simple project. Endless meetings. Mono-lingual developers, uninterested in learning new things (or even the current things).

After a reboot of the development server SVN was down for a week because the daemon wasn't set to auto-start. Everyone is deadly afraid of the command line. Instead of logging in and looking around they contact the hosting provider who tells them there's not enough RAM. Yes, they bought it.

I moved out of web development to get away from the PHP brocoders and now I have to deal with this shit. Is the situation hopeless? Should I just get out of programming entirely?

Help!

>>49
terrible! you may look for some enterprise flavored FP languages like Clojure and Scala.

>>49
Programming is not something that should be done as a job. It is a form of pure art and should always be a hobby. Get a job as a waiter or a toilet scrubber - anything that will allow you to own a computer with electricity in it. Then program on your off days and at nights.

>>51
go build another universe you fat autist

SMELL A CUNT IN YOUR MIND PALACE

　　 　　＿＿／二二二＼＿＿_
　　／○　 　 　|[FAG]| 　　　○＼
　　|────┏━━┓────|
　　|━━━┓┃┏┓┃┏━━━|
lol |（´∀｀）┃┃┃┃┃┃（・∀・）| HERE COMES THE MAN TRAIN!
　　|━━━┛┃┗┛┃┗━━━| *CHOO CHOO*
　　|────╂──╂────|
　　|　 　 　 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 　 　 　|
　　|　 　 　 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 　 　 　|
　　|　● 　 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 　 ●　|
　 　|　　① 　 ┃ 　 　┃ 　 ①　　|
　　　|_＿＿＿ .二二二. ＿＿＿_|
　 　 │　　　　│[=.=］｜　　　　|
　 　 └─────────┘
　 　 　 ─／／────＼＼─
　 　 ─／／──────＼＼─
　─ ／／　__∧＿∧_ 　 ──＼＼─
　　　　　　　|（　＾д＾ ）|　＜What's that gay noise?
　　　　　　　|＼⌒⌒⌒＼
　　　　　　　＼ |⌒⌒⌒~|　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　　 ~￣￣￣￣

ⒸⒽⒺⒸⓀ ⒺⓂ ⒹⓊⒷⓈ

>>55
Very epic maymay indeed

>>51
An while you work, day dream about the problems you are solving.

Hey there! we are currently looking for an amazing superstar ninja developer who could help us to scale and define the future of enterprise remote dildos. If you are an expert Java, Ruby, and C# coder please reply to this post and I will PM you with more information about this role.

>>58
I am Haskal coder...

>>59
Sorry but we are only hiring real software engineers. If you are interested in an internship position please send me your portfolio and a cover letter.

>>59
By the way, do you have any experience with TDD and SDLC?

>>61
test drive my anus

>>61
Do I have experience with outdated metrics-first, results-last design methodologies?
Ech. For enterprise rockstar devs actually concerned with their deliverables, waterfall design is the only way to go.

Nintendo 64 get.

>>64
nice dubs
>>65
nice timestamp dubs
>>66
nice dubs

>>65

22:32

Haha, loser.

wHY THE FUCK IS YOUR SERVER'S CLOCK NOT THE SAME AS MINE
IT WAS 22:33 GOD DAMMIT

>>67
This is a tragedy. Please, let us be polite, and disregard >>67-sama's failure.

>>68
I'm so sorry. I can't.
It's just so horrible and obvious that I can't avert my eyes or mind from it.
>>67-chan you really fucked up bad.

NICTA
http://ssrg.nicta.com/

>>70
Nigger Institute of Car Theft and Anal?

>>71
Niggers Tongue My Anus