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What language cavemen could program in?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 16:47

C/C++ syntax is quite unforgiving for mistakes, and cavemen weren't good abstract thinkers.
I think something like a variant of LISP or Forth could be used to teach a cavemen basic programming.
Haskell or restricted subset of it, would look like pseudocode and could be more palatable to primitive cavemen

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 16:53

The one they could make.
Now, what language could cavemen be smart enough to make, hmm? I know: assembly. And C.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:01

>>2
Its assumed a cavemen is transported to present time and taught a random programming language.(Cavemen didn't have technology to create a computer)

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:02

Go without concurrency.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:06

Cavemen with intellectual capacity of a child could be taught logo and squeak.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:30

>>1
``Caveman'' is not a scientific term. You will have to be more precise if you want a meaningful discussion.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:35

>>6
Is "primitive members of the Homo sapiens species that would often dwell in caves" better?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:41

>>7
No. You will need to specify which subspecies of Homo sapiens you are referring to. Possible answers include Homo sapiens sapiens and Homo sapiens idaltu.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:45

>>8
Does it make a difference, like Neanderthal wouldn't be able to use printf but idaltu would?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 17:59

>>9
Homo neanderthalensis is a different species entirely and yes it would. It's unlikely that any human selected before ~30,000 years ago could learn any programming language, whereas one selected after this point could almost certainly learn any programming language that a normal person can, provided they were young enough to be taught all of the prerequisites in logical thinking.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 18:02

>>10
Assuming the generally-preached theories are right.

Neanderthals were smarter than you or me. Hell, even medieval people had greater capacity for learning and thinking. The average human intellect has been degrading as a consequence of developing communication technologies.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 18:06

>>11
You will have to provide some form of logical argument if you want me to take these claims seriously.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 18:22

>>12
Development of communication technologies leads to a decline in average human intelligence. For proof just go on Facereddit (or here). Also ask an average postmodern Internet dweller to read some Shakespeare or Dumas - chances are, he/she won't even be able to comprehend it.

I do not need or care to provide you any more "logical arguments" for obvious things such as these, sorry.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 18:28

>>13
Who cares about average human intelligence? As long as there are a few groups of elites ensuring our continued technological progress, the rest of humanity can provide a stable base of wage slaves and cannon fodder.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 18:35

>>14
"A few groups of elites" are ensuring their own material wealth, not your technological progress. The richest 1% now has as much money as the rest of 99% - that's a success. Technology? Nobody cares. That's why people are still using languages that are beaten by PLs from the 60ies.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 19:24

>>15
"A few groups of elites" are ensuring their own material wealth, not your technological progress.
This might surprise you, but most of us don't enjoy the thought of you dirty plebs handling our food and clothes, slouching about in our houses, our chauffeurs knowing our every move, and so on. Sure beats doing stuff with our own hands, but nothing to be particularly happy about as it is. So we are very interested in continued technological progress.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 19:38

>>8
I swear to Jove, you might have made the single most pretentious post ever posted on /prog/

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 19:59

cavemen weren't good abstract thinkers

Neanderthals were the superintelligent white master race until they were bred out of existence by the barbaric Homo Sapiens Sapiens.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 20:33

>>18
So the history repeats itself again.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 20:57

I wish the Neanderthals were still around ;_;

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 20:58

>>17
I think the word you're looking for is "pedantic".

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 21:04

>>21
Communication technologies have made modern men orthographically and philologically undeveloped. And since language is inextricably linked to thinking, the linguistic degradation has caused a decline in intelligence, as well. The ancient writers could not only construct phrases and sentences sprawling with complexity and logical precision, they (and their readers) could think thoughts of corresponding precise delicacy. Not so in the modern days of Instagram and that epitome of cerebral degeneration, Twitter.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 21:29

>>22
That's like saying people of the twenties must have been geniuses because Ulysses was written during their time.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-21 22:37

>>22
Ah, the ancients. Who could forget the brilliant words of Catullus? "Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo." Absolutely timeless wit.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:00

implying humans are animals

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:02

>>25
/g/-kun. please tell us. What are humans then? Plants?
Nice implying meme, by the way.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:02

>>10
hurrdurr i can use wikipedia
Maybe you should spend more time programming instead of being such a know it all. Other than the fact there is no such as selection upon humans that affect mind and psychology and you cannot prove me wrong lol. How would it ever develop in the first place? Randomly? Dumbass.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:04

scientific term
not a rational term.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:05

>>16
stop roleplaying

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:07

>>29
Stop being poor and bitter.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:18

>>30
Stop being a fedora wearing basement dweller.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:31

By the pricking of my thumbs,
Something double this way comes.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:37

CH
EC DU
K` BS
EM

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:54

Forth

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 0:56

BASIC

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 3:37

Pascal. I had a discrete math professor once who fucking loved Pascal. He was some kind of kike from eastern Europe. His face was mishappen and bubbly and he had a huge jew nose and and his hair grew in patches and he went off in tangents about Godel like some sort of crazed monkey-man. He looked like a stereotypical disgusting subhuman caveman Homo Erectus who had been dug out of some million year old burial site, shipped to the anthropology school for study, but had come back to life and wondered over to the mathematics college. The bastard had the nerve to offer me an undergraduate research job and write me a letter of recommendation for grad school. Absolute savage.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 4:26

>>36
Perfect perfect square get.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 4:51

>>36
The best thing you will be able to ever offer the world is offing yourself. Do it.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 5:02

>>38
do you understand that words have the power to hurt people
i dont think you do
im not just text and pictures
theres a real person typing this and that person feels sad because of what you said
i hope some day you realise that

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 5:43

>>38
To be fair, >>39-kun did perfectly get a perfect square.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 5:44

>>1
Cavemen don't have developed natural language, so they require language to be symbolic, which leaves only Lisp. Although you would have to replace CAR/CDR with some more appropriate graphemes.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 5:56

>>41
Seems like the BEGINNERS ALL-PURPOSE SYMBOLIC INSTRUCTION CODE would be more appropriate then. They can even use Visual Basic which is 99% drag-and-drop to make it even easier.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:22

>>39
Back to the kitchen, woman. Make me dinner.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:29

>>43
Sorry, boys with little tiny dicks aren't going to be telling me what to do ;)

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:35

>>44
How'd you like some little tiny bruises on your body, bitch?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:40

>>45
That was the worst threat I've ever heard.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:41

>>46
So go to the kitchen now, what are you waiting for?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:44

>>47
It's past your bed time. Just stop embarrassing yourself.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 9:48

>>48
How's that soup coming along, woman?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 11:20

What language cavemen could program in?

ОП - очевидное Золотце.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 11:45

>>50
Ni hao!

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 12:03

>>51
Нахуй.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 13:01

>>52
На хуй!

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-22 21:16

>>45
Are you going to finger flick me into submission?

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-23 10:45

C
H
E
C
K`
E
M

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-23 10:54

>>54
No, I just know how to punch your liver and kidneys to leave almost no bruises.

Name: Anonymous 2015-02-24 1:59

>>56
Do you know how to check >>55-sama's dubs?

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