Computer science jokes

Q: Why did you reject her type?
A: Because she was not my kind.
xD

Why did the ckichen crossed the road?
Because the chicken was actually an object in a simulation, whose position was a variable allocated in a system's ram stick being hit by a row hammer attack, making the chicken change its position, incidentally putting it on the opposite side of the road.

lol

There are 10 types of people in the world, those that understand binary and those that don't.

In my dictionary, the preferred definition of science involves discovering properties of the natural world. Engineering involves the application of those properties to solve practical problems. By those definitions programmers are neither scientists nor engineers. The principal objects of their study are manmade, not natural. -- William A. Wulf, Professor of Engineering and Applied Sciences

just lol at calling codemonkeys scientists. programmers are a fucking joke. mental midgets of the STEM world

>>4

By those definitions programmers are neither scientists nor engineers

How so? They both seem to fit.

>>4

Scientists aren't allowed to study man-made objects, and Engineers must only use naturally occuring materials
It is forbidden by my copy of a list of word definitions

>>6
technologist
tɛkˈnɒlədʒɪst/
noun
noun: technologist; plural noun: technologists

an expert in a particular field of technology.
"a food technologist"
US
a person employed to look after technical equipment or do practical work in a laboratory.
"a laboratory technologist"

But is science a technology?

>>7,4
>Scientists aren't allowed to study man-made objects.
This is the science purity police, we discovered you studied a man-made object and your science license is revoked.
For reference list of forbidden pseudo sciences - studies of man-made objects:
Acoustics - requires man-made objects
Material physics - man-made materials
Chemistry - even organic, since most of these are man-made or refined substances
Physics - all of these devices are man-made
Applied Math - all of it is man-made
Biology - all these instruments and drugs are man-made
Astronomy - unless with naked eye and without using any man-made star charts
Social Sciences - all man-made books and methods
History,Paleoontology and Archaeology - obvious
Meteorology - studies man-made devices, not just observing weather. Also sattellites.
Rocket science - Rockets? Into the trash
Religion studies - All religions are man-made
Nuclear physics - nature doesn't have atoms, heretics. Dismantle your devices.
Quantum Physics - CERN is man-made, should be banned as gathering of pseuds
Marine Biology - bin that acoustic radar.
Linguistics - all languages are man-made, you can listen to birds if you want.
Gender Studies - gender is a social man-made construct
Pharmacology& medicine - drugs are man-made

>>8
Computer science is not technology.

>>9
Math isn’t man made for the most part, just the notation is. Aliens would have the concept of multiplication or derivatives.

Computer Science in the most abstract sense (e.g., Turing machines, lambda calculus) also isn’t man made. Aliens would probably have the same concept.

>>11

Aliens would have the concept of multiplication or derivatives.

actually, that is a high level concept, which appeared on Earth relatively recently.

Java.

>>11
By this logic nothing is man-made since somewhere in the universe or parallel worlds there are some alien species that also made it.

If a monkey makes a spear, spears suddenly lose their man-made status?

>>15
If a monkey makes a spear, it is a distinct spear from the man made one. Just like planes are not helicopters.

>>16
If a monkey invents math, is it distinct too?

>>14

some alien species

aliens are like God: nobody seen them, but everyone is assured they exist.

>>18
It just invalidates that "If someone else invents it beside humans, its not man-made"

>>1

True Story - The Code Alien : http://www.commitstrip.com/en/2017/08/08/true-story-the-code-alien

>>20
moar liek https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM

my'm am dubs need checking

>>22
I don't get it

>>23
because your're are an anus

if an anus gets haxed but no one is there to see it, did it truly get haxed?

>>25
the one who haxed it sees it