How I interview candidates

I call it the peeing test: I go to the bathroom with the candidate and then kindly ask:

Alright, so now I would like to see some urination :) Okey?
Come on... Don't you know how to pee? Is not that hard... haha
Oh there you go :) a drop of urine. Don't worry, take your time :)

If things go well I may also ask for a small poop, just to see how far they can go.

And this is how I know if the candidate is a real human.

more like this, please

this is supposed to be satire but they actually do this

>>3

this is supposed to be satire but they actually do this

>>1 is from Russia, filtering out nonhuman job applicants is a matter of survival there. And no, they drink vodka like nobody's business so you can't use that, if that's what you were probably wondering about.

I just say let's see some action then we have sex

have you ever thought about how gay a lot of modern programming stuff is, like why get all fucking complicated. it's all old. it's all been done. fuck being super smart. it's like the best programs are the ones where you're saying: I woke up, got dressed, went outside, and then I was outside.

it's not like you need to win the fucking 'best story of the year' award

and cudder's still micro optimising his shit in ass-embly hahhaha

>>3
drug testing is only practiced in third-world countries

This thread is biological in nature.

CHICKENS ARE GLOBAL GLOBAL GLOBAL GLOBAL GLOBAL

CHECK `EM

CHECK THIS BITCH

*THROWS A CHESS SET AT YOU*

(define (PICKYOURWEAPON lst atoms)
(list-ref (map (lambda (x) (list x x atoms)) lst) (- (length lst) 1)))

(define (CUTMYSANDWICHBITCH lst)
(define (take lst n)
(if (zero? n)
'()
(cons (car lst) (take (cdr lst) (- n 1)))))

(cons (take lst (quotient (length lst) 2))
(list-tail lst (quotient (length lst) 2))))

(define (ANDTAKETHECRUSTOFFYOUSTUPIDBITCH lst) (cdr lst))

(define (HOWCOMEYOUCANTDOASIMPLETASKYOUSPENDALLDAYINTHEFUCKINGKITCHENN) '(doodoo
doo))

(print (PICKYOURWEAPON (ANDTAKETHECRUSTOFFYOUSTUPIDBITCH (CUTMYSANDWICHBITCH '(L
ASERSWORD DIAPERGUN ROBOTSABER))) 'THEFORCE))
(print (HOWCOMEYOUCANTDOASIMPLETASKYOUSPENDALLDAYINTHEFUCKINGKITCHENN))

Ignore >>13, please. Scheme was a mistake. I suck cocks BTW.

<TAB>ADD EAX, 2
<TAB>MOV EBX, EAX
<TAB>OH WHO THE FUCK CAN BE BOTHERED WRITING THIS STUPID SHIT ... OH WAIT, I CAN, BECAUSE I'M RETARDED

>>13
>>14
>>15
if you could just fuck off? that'd be great

>>16
Considered an armful!

>>16
>>13-15

>>18
I love your posts.

i'm probably lonely here, having owned a software company and hired about 20 programmers myself. Submitting their own work was always required and for the interview I'd just spot a bug in their own code and ask what's wrong with it.

>>20
Are you a Jew?

no, a finn but i don't care about that.

>>22
Then the Jews have put you out of competition and/or bought your company, am I right?

>>23
Essentially the banks did due to currency rates, totally unexpected and unlikely but it got me a couple of years ago. I had to call quits before it would be to late.

Submitting their own work was always required

Their own work from what? Prior companies? Their own time? You have no right to see either.

>>24
So, the fractional banking system. Which is mostly owned by Jews. And the system of currency trading, which is what the first Rothschild used to get rich and oppress goys. Thanks for the data point.

Jew did it again!

>>25
From own work, yes. I don't see why I wouldn't have the right to see what someone would like to display.
>>26
It was related to the economical crash yes, of course it might not have been a problem for a good business man if that has any meaning.

DEFINITION of 'Fractional Reserve Banking'

A banking system in which only a fraction of bank deposits are backed by actual cash-on-hand and are available for withdrawal. This is done to expand the economy by freeing up capital that can be loaned out to other parties. Most countries operate under this type of system.

http://www.investopedia.com/terms/f/fractionalreservebanking.asp

So most of the money banks lend is money they don't even have. But how much will they lend? How much will they "expand the economy"? By however much they want. They can expand the economy, contract it, they can conspire to do it in sync. You don't have a say, you're just a "bad businessman" and they are the gods of money and debt. They can create economic booms simply by increasing liquidity, and they can create economic crises simply by decreasing it. 1929 was not different in principle from 2008. Once a small trans-national cabal controls your money, you can expect your economy to crash and lives to be lost, again and again and again.

>>20
Don't tell me that you did whiteboard tests... pls don't

>>30
What's wrong with whiteboard tests?

>>31
White. White is always wrong.

Dubs. Dubs are always right.

>>31
white-boards are a symbol of oppression: think about it