Programming languages mapped to common crapping experiences

Java: The more you crap, the more crap you need to crap.
Lisp: You crap by dropping the first and crapping the rest.
C: A hard and heavy crap. Leaves you a thougher man, and probably a pointer in the bowl.
Haskell: You push in pain and agony, and after a monad, six meals are expelled in a dense pearl.
Prolog: yes.
PHP: The crap just push some other crap and withdraws.
Python: A delightfull little snake. But you feel like not having crapped at all, and may have preferred something denser.
C++: The holiday dinner crap. You either enjoy the rich experience, or swear to become a vegetarian.
C#: Feels slicker than the Java crap, but you better have windows to open.
Javascript: A viscous unpredictable crap. You try to use its flexibility to your advantage, but it's a slippery slope.
Ruby: You enjoy the smell, and tell everyone.
Assembly: crp
HTML: You sneezed.
SQL: You take a dump and store it safely.
BASIC: You crapped on the potty.
Lua: You conclude philosophically that less is more while flushing.

Java: You crap in a port-a-potty.
C: You shoot yourself in the foot and dump core.
Haskell: You're reading while you sit on the toilet, constipated.
JavaScript: You crap in a plastic bag.

Lisp: You take the crap out of the toilet and write the eval apply ying yang on the wall in your shit.

Haskell: You crap and it smells terrible.

>>4
my dog haskell has no nose

>>1
Where's Perl?

>>5
Went to doctor because he was not sure what he just crapped.

Epigram: Constipated for years, nothing came out

>>5
Perl: You need to crap and you think to yourself, “I know, I'll sit down on the toilet.”

Now you have two craps.

Perl: Fast machine gun farts with rapid solid projectiles shooting into the water.

Prolog: The crap appears in the toilet. You feel relieved.

>>5
My dog is dead.
How does he smell?
Terrible!

Ruby: You enjoy the smell, and tell everyone.

I smirk'd. The rest of this ``joke'' is shit (no pun intended)

>>13
I smirked because >>1 called Haskell ``Ruby''

Functors make ``Ruby'' the "Acceptable haskell"

Haskell: You perceive the crap, but don't change the actual state of your bowels, and flush the toilet even though it's empty.

Telekinetic Pooping

>>17
men's superior physical strength height and power is self-evident. mental superiority is not. therefore the same is not known to be true for chess.

you're the idiot.

- I agreed using analogy: that's like saying black people biologically have lower IQs than white people, therefore slavery is OK.

>>18
Not so. While a men on average are stronger than women, a women can become stronger than a man. However I'm not familiar with how the genders fair in telekinetic pooping.

>>19
Stop pasting that stale unfunny shit here, and while you're at it, kill yourself.

dubs

One thing's for sure, regardless of gender or race, if there was a human being who was able to poop telekinetically, they'd truly stand above the rest.

/poop/

What if there was a super hero that could control shit like Gara controlled sand? He would be powerful in cities, where he could utilize the vast underground network of shit flowing in the sewers. And if he wasn't close to shit, he could squeeze one out before battle and send it hurling at his enemies at 400 km/h. But then he would be powerless if he couldn't take a shit at the time. So he just carries around a large sack of shit with him so he would always be prepared.

>>25
Gaara.

__________
(--[ .]-[ .] /
(_______O__)

And he can fly but he has to stand on mounds of shit to do that, so he prefers not to.

His opponents have noted that the most difficult part of battling him is enduring the stench, and the inevitable part where they are covered and constricted by mounds of shit.

>>25
What would be his jinchuuriki?

>>27
Fly? No, but he can crap over tall buildings.

>>25-27,29
Naruto is a gateway anime of the worst kind, etc.

>>31
The show is like 2/3 filler. That's the worst part. Months of fillers in a row. But I first saw it about 10 years ago and it left an impression. So I started watching it again for the sake of nostalgia. I don't watch any other anime and I want to see it end. If only the fillers would let us. But it's not all bad. In the few times when we actually get to progress the story, I tend to be invested. It has some memorable scenes and some epic fights. And it has made me cry a bunch of times. It had a lot of bad moments that made me consider not watching but overall I think it was worth it. If you decide to watch it however, be mindful of the fillers. Give yourself some room before new releases so you don't have to wait.

>>32
If you think Naruto is mainly filler you should see DBZ.
Half each episode is recapping the previous episode, a quarter is just powering up, and the other quarter is progress.

>>33
If you think DBZ is mainly filler you should see my dick in your anus.

>>34
I'd gladly see it in my anus.
Then I'd lick it clean afterwards and tongue your anus until you came again.

>>31-33
Yes, anime is stupid shit. We already know that.

>>36
Yes, you don't like anime and you're a special snowflake for being so radical and counterculture. We already know that.

>>36
Shounen anime is stupid shit.

>>33
I had actually written about DBZ in that post but decided to delete it before submitting. That show is nothing but standing.

>>39
Dragonball Z is a primitive children's cartoons about superpowers and endless jerking off to those superpowers.

>>37
Anime isn't culture, it's low-quality consumerist fanservice.

>>38
Sorts of feces.

Dragonball Z is fun to jerk off to. Dem abs. I orgasm during the epilepsy inducing parts.

Akira Toriyama draws like shit. DBZ gave me eyeball malaria.

>>40

low-quality consumerist fanservice.

Spoken like a true ``radical counterculture'' retard. Is the capitalist empire to blame?

>>40
Hi, I am not trolling, I really like your harsh but true viewpoints you are expressing here. But the facts are I got a series of very unlucky events in the last 2 years and without telling you my sob story, my marriage recently collapsed (we divorced) and I am basically close to get evicted from this place because I cannot pay the bills for much longer. so what I am asking is if you would consider sharing some of your money through paypal so i can cover these bills. I promise to pay it forward soon as i can. Thanks?