Perl 6 was pretty cute with the butterfly and all, but if it's anything like Perl 4, it has a horrible personality that detracts from the cuteness.
Haskell can be cute, but only in the sense that it is clumsy and inept at everything. Helplessness is cute.
Scheme has a good chance at being cutest because of how many cuties program in Scheme.
C is an old hag and has not chance of being cute at all. And if C is an old hag, Seeples is a crack whore. May have been a cute little side project a few dozen years ago, but it lost all cuteness when it started stealing from you and calling you for bail money.
>>2 Most likely a tranny-enabling homosexual /g/・/jp/ transplant who still thinks it's still 2008 and likes to beat his weird dead horse of a joke about us all secretly being little girls (it's funny because we're not (hahaha))
>>3 Why are you here? Seriously, I want to know. Why do you leave a place because it's shitty, but try to make everywhere you go into the place you left?
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Anonymous2015-12-30 19:08
JACKSON 5 GET
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Anonymous2015-12-31 1:14
Lisp is the sexiest. Fuck cute.
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Anonymous2015-12-31 1:35
Lisps are pretty unattractive.
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Anonymous2015-12-31 1:40
Real programming languages have curved punctuation.
>>18 You can actually use square brackets interchangeably with parentheses in some implementations, if you're really that bad at telling what belongs where.
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Anonymous2015-12-31 6:20
C - Sailor Moon. The language that everything ultimately revolves around and whenever caught in a pinch, reveals plot defying secret moves that solves everything, yet sets the stage for an even more powerful enemy later. Other Sailors have complex feelings towards her, because she is childish and whimsical, and is more caught up in romance than her royal responsibilities, and she is a bit of a crybaby.
Javascript - Sailor Chibi-moon. She is Sailor Moon's daughter from a thousand years in the future. She powers up her mother, but her power is quite limited on her own. Whenever she's in a bad situation, she cries, and a huge amount of destructive energy that can be seen from miles away, and is hard to calm down. She has more pantyshots than all of the other characters combined, but this is mostly used for comedic effect. She can also travel through time, has a crush on her father, and is sorely lacking in erodoujin.
LISP - Sailor Mercury. The intellectual of the group. She is smart and shy, and though everyone who knows her loves her, she has trouble making new friends. She can perform math that completely bypasses logic and can throw out a line of completely unintelligible nonsense to prove that she is right. She didn't have any offensive attacks for a long time, so her popularity suffered as she was deemed useless. This soon changed and she was given powers on par with the rest of the sailors, but some people never forgave her.
Pascal - Sailor Venus. A nice girl who is obsessed with idols and loves to sing and dance. She is very pretty, and strong -- on the rare occasion that someone has given her a proper plan. She was fighting evil on her own before meeting up with Sailor Moon and can be (poorly) disguised as Sailor Moon. She rarely makes good grades and is prone to taking advice from a cat. She is willing to change herself endlessly to please others, but is nevertheless doomed to never be loved.
Ruby - Sailor Jupiter. A tall tomboy who a bit clumsy. She is actually quite girly, but is embarrassed to admit this to anyone. Her dreams include being a good wife one day, but she is socially awkward and has had her heart broken before, so she is hesitant about romance again.
C++ - Sailor Mars. At heart, she is a nice girl, but she is quite quick to anger towards Sailor Moon's failings and is sometimes overly blunt. She is quite intelligent on her own, and can be quite elegant. She tries very hard at everything she does, and will try even harder to disguise the work she has put into something, so as to make it seem that things come easy for her.
Perl - Sailor Saturn. She is a frail girl, the daughter of a mad scientist who sold his soul to the devil for a chance to have a loli of his own. Because she is inhabited by the devil, two lesbians want to kill her, but Sailor Moon saves her and tells them to fuck off. Her powers are limited to either being useless or destroying an entire planet, killing herself in the process. She is good friends with Chibiusa.
Java - Tuxedo Kamen. Sailor Moon's love interest and future father of Chibiusa. He is as intelligent as Sailor Mercury, but never seems to apply it. He rarely cares enough to actually confront villains, but will save Sailor Moon when she is in trouble, which is always. However, he is prone to being brainwashed to attack her, and dying and being resurrected by plothacks. He has probably committed statutory rape against Sailor Moon.
Symta - Queen Beryl. A hateful cunt who uses her homosexual minions to steal the energy out of people, so that she can awake a monster, destroy everything that is good in the world, and begin her rein of darkness. She is in love with Tuxedo Kamen, so decides that the best way to win his heart is to destroy everything that he has ever loved. She is also quite ugly.
BASIC - Sailor Pluto. Her powers are a bit unknown, because she spends most of her time guarding a door that only Chibiusa uses, and that other might use, but don't have to achieve the same effect. She sometimes leaves this door guarded by a small kitten, so her functions must not be very important. Her core personality changes quite often and it appears that she cannot recognize her allies on sight.
Assembly – Sailor Galactica. She is the most powerful Soldier in the universe. She defeated the Chaos, an evil so pure that it could only appear in a children's show, by locking it in her body, causing her to become twisted and evil in the process. She is defeated by Sailor Moon, who used The Power of Friendship to exorcise the evil during the battle that had so much nudity that it caused the entire fifth season to not be licensed in North America.
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Anonymous2015-12-31 7:05
Sailor Jupiter - JEW
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Anonymous2015-12-31 10:36
>>18 Unless you're using that not-a-lisp that runs on jvm, ([{}]) are indeed interchangeable. For instance, Racket uses (let ([a b]) ...) as a style preference.
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Anonymous2015-12-31 11:14
>>18 But that can only be solved by editor highligthing. )]}))]}) are as useless and confusing as pure ))))))) here.
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Anonymous2015-12-31 14:09
Smalltalk
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Anonymous2015-12-31 15:17
I personally find Qbasic cute, in nostalgic sort of way, modern equivalents are far more complex and lack the charm and ease of use. Basic is all about direct naive approach using the limited api and handful of commands to create simple programs and games without serious effort. It seems things like variants of Scheme are somewhat simlistic and "cute" they are not easy to use and require complex composition, relying on recursion and advanced macros to accomplish basic tasks. And naive Scheme lack in the performance department, unlike easily optimized Basic's: so there is expected effort from the user to optimize which is not cute in any sense, like debugging and benchmarks. JavaScript is also a strong contender, especially recent ES5/6 standards, which make it simpler to express ideas. Its very widespread, has plenty of libraries and gentle learning curve, but overall reliance on complex OOP models makes it far more serious than QBasic. JavaScript is not fun to debug either. Its my favorite language though, like LISP to many of /prog/ regulars. It can be considered a distant variant of Lisp with user-friendly syntax. If we compare Lisp/Scheme to modern javascript,JavaScript is more 'cute' and even considered by some a 'toy language'. It isn't 2007 anymore though, JavaScript is everywhere and the idea of it becoming universal language grows stronger every year with more hardware APIs and serious libraries growing, along with advances in compilation/interpretation(e.g. asm.js). Before getting off-track, the idea of language being cute is only a naive view of the novice user of language: not the expert or language designer. Qbasic only seems cute on the API level, but its internals are quite 'non-cute' in every sense of the world, just like all languages internally are assembler blocks operating on complex hardware with no tolerance of error.
If you go by that the cutest language is likely FORTH. This is a language where it's normal to re-implement programming paradigms inside the application. Things like CREATE> DOES are proudly presented by users as innovative concepts. It also has no syntax to speak of just space to separate words.
There is also ColorForth which basically just Chuck Moore uses which uses colors as syntax, is written using a custom 18-bit encoding, no files and a custom keyboard layout.
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Anonymous2016-01-04 12:04
>>30 QBasic doesn't have line numbers. (Okay, they are in there as optional legacy compatibility, but nobody uses them.)
>>39 IT'S JUST LIKE LISP BUT FOR BACKWARDS FAGGOTS!!!!!!!1
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Anonymous2016-01-05 10:17
>>40 AND IN FORTH YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW IF YOU'RE PASSING THE RIGHT NUMBER OF ARGUMENTS, OR HOW MANY WILL BE CONSUMED BASED ON ARBITRARY RUNTIME DECISIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!